Trying 

Trying and honestly living it,

Trying and finding the fail is in 

The sails.

I was afraid like the shade tree you 

Make, like all this talk of coming here 

For the cake. Is the king here?

Is the trying the sale, cause I’m making 

Those daily.

I was thinking that when this thing started

You were gonna get this started, you 

Were gonna get it going.

I stayed for pool, I played the fool,

I played that love somebody song,

I failed at trying to keep you all 

Night long.

Now I’m wandering in the rust

From that car you never cleaned up,

From that act you never did change.

I always say all this change is 

A rearrange cause I remember that 

Couch love we had, now I’m trying not 

To be bad but it’s to late for those lies.

I’m trying to live Holy, but I’m trying to

Live too,

Risking that better view I had of you.

Trying to not respond to your breaking

Brain, and trying to live with that pain.

Trying, babe, to move on. Telling you this is

Now, this is every fall day without You.

60 Days. Middle of This.

Now I find myself pulled into this ..
HOTEL life,
Clean towels
Living not right.
Do you want health,
Or do you love the hell?
Some..
I don’t have these answers I seek
I am trying to tell you about the 23rd of August.
How 8 has always meant new beginnings
And new winnings.
And those diamond eyes proved true.
I gotta be different.
I gotta stop talking about
Her and him and they and that
And all that ever was past!
Had that flip phone once.
Had it for prevention.
Thought it was there for
Protection.
I was slowing down my life
So you could tell me the steps
It would take to get better.
8 whole ones. 8 in August
and 8 in January. And who ever
Did show up to graduate me?
Cause the real was past the steel
and the metal,
And the kettle kind of rage that
Was cooking in me.
Because life is hotel.
Life feels like its own kind
Of hell. No one praised the
Smoke rising or the snow
Falling. Everyone bears that
Fantasy too.
I am in process.
In progress.
In the middle of something
Big developing..

60 Days: Finding Thursday

Thu. 9-14 late night 9pm. Flight delayed one hour…
Thursday
Saturday..tell me more,
This day was special,
Cause you were the one.
You were the seven billion sum.
The brighter than the sun.
I am trying. God knows I am
Trying to settle back,
And settle this attack.
This brain is out of whack.
And so is the family.
So are the friends.
So will be the end,
When will that begin?
Everyone is fading.
I promised a two month
Episode, but its fading fast.
I can’t keep this up for you.
Clothes are washed, and all
For You, all so you would stop
Second guessing.
Yes, I started sweating around
You, but I started the run.
Found the fun,
Never gonna have it soon.
Feel the power of later
And waiting, cause that’s
Got me falling and failing for
You.
You got a lot of you not seen
On here. You got less for me to
Wonder. You got a beautiful figure.
I’ve lost all it now.
Can we get that gym bag life back
Or those capri pants back,
Or that red dress in the center
Again?
Cause all I have is this fast paced
Place. This airport of diversity,
This hurricane of tragedy,
This spinning electronica.
I can’t wait for more ideas to
Come. Its Thursday. They are
Here. I am still asking when is
Tomorrow cause I am gonna
Feel it soon.
Would you be the one to
Get found too.

60 Days.. 8.22- The Town

8.22: Town
Had this town in the rear view,
Now we know we gotta go.
Drove slow was my criticism,
Is this really cynicism or not?
Cause when we get the sun
We get the Son.
I wanted,
I wandered.
I felt the thunder in the
Dry sky,
Who would want to lie?
The more I travel this state,
The more I cannot erase,
Denver will always be clever.
It will always call me back in.
Remind me of the days when..
I am down below the memories.
I am up above them too.
 I had a long list of regrets,
A longer list of pain to get
To.
But it was found,
In the town.
Am I a lucky one.
Can I see what I got?
Can I settle for better,
Or can I stay this weather?
Stick around,
Find the town.
Seek what you can
Try to live in the found.

60 Days: Wandering

Monday Aug. 21st–Real time reflections..

Could it be on the slow?
Tired of feeling like hey, I am on the go!
All the travel for the taking,
All the adventure for the raising.
I can’t keep up,
Unless you tell me to grow up.
Had the Monday rush,
After the Sunday hush,
After taking a nap,
And asking for an example.
Weren’t you ample?
Weren’t you the primitive
Sample?
I was a monkey once,
Then an ape,
Then a cape to
Cover this robot of
Me.
Then I was the foreigner
Says Israel,
Watch the real,
Seal the reel,
Feel the steal,
You aren’t like any other,
Any other kind of lover!
Monday to soon,
Songs on the play rush too,
Denver airport,
Eclipse in the sea ports,
Forgot the goggles,
Forgot to google this
Can’t you just be the one
To tell me,
Tell me how to see?
Cause I am like Monday now,
Better, higher, worn and torn,
I feel like I am a foreigner,
Lost in this strange land called
California,
Called utopia,
Called struggle,
Find me now,
Find me wandering,
And walking, into a new day..

60 Days: Sunday Nights

I had a lot of Saturdays without you,
I had a lot of free Sundays,
I wanted to face that place,
I wanted to return there.
I didn’t want to worship
Anymore. I didn’t want these
Arms open anymore.
I didn’t want you to see me
Here. It started there. It was
Over there.
I woke up thinking different.
Thinking Friday nights in the
O.C. Thinking magic by the sea.
I bought those white shoes.
I thought I was normal for
Those to stay clean.
So Sunday was never the same.
Ryan told me of worship and
Suffering was the message,
Suffering was the massage.
No one knows how to rest in this place.
You let me nap on that couch.
You let me stay up late.
You let me in.
Your house was like a hotel.
I’ve seen to many of those
Lately.
I needed you more.
I needed the top floor.
I was thinking she was gonna
Call back and call again, but
I couldn’t do that,
That had to come to an end.
I was wild again. I felt the free again.
Just for a little Sunday night.
I saw those movies with a new
Vision. I saw her move west and
Put fear to the test.
I related like Batman would.
I had a dad issue to.
I had a new kind of view to
Look to.
I had an instagram
I had to delete those pics
Of you,
I had to press new on everything.
I had that drive home.
I had that smog filled sunset.
I had the eclipse to look to.
So, where you gonna go?
Anywhere but here.