Day #51 – So is Texas

Aug. 22nd

Drifting from the last part,

The last start,

Falsified at best,

Abstract to say the least,

You were wondering if this was about you?

If everything I ever tried had to do with you,

But you are all the same, aren’t you?

You aren’t all the plain, I told you,

Now I gather, and so do you,

Now I wonder and so do you,

Now I back myself into a corner,

And I can’t excuse it anymore.

This big state was a fly in,

Been in before,

Trains around,

Trains in town,

Baggage is all you ever came

To claim,

This adventure has wheels,

Has a plane,

Has a plain sign in the middle of it all,

I wasn’t meant to be here,

Meant for it,

Meant for this,

But you wonder the same reason I do,

Are we troubled by that which isn’t the

Reason,

Or is your reason a leave,

A departure,

A ready for it all to take my

Temperature,

It is hot, and burning up,

And so is Texas.

 

Day #50 – Cement

August 21st

Got on a plane,

Made it plain,

Nick of time,

Out of the dime,

Asked for coffee,

For the 5th time,

Boarded that flight,

Stayed short on the night,

Ran low on darkness,

Felt the harness,

This was large,

Larger than I imagined.

Ran in circles only for you

To Fathom.

I am here,

Fountain longing,

Still wandering,

Cracks in the cement,

Cracks in the concrete.

Day #49 – Cracks

August 18th

Preparing for it,

Destroying for it, too.

A breakdown,

Was never half new,

Was never half knew.

I had to walk with the solid,

I had to walk with the college.

I had to feel your knowledge,

And your hands all over mine.

I made some time for reflection,

I made some time for direction,

Tried to seek it out.

I had a dry spout,

I had a place where you were

Unable to find me,

I had cracks,

I had places that I needed you

To fill,

And to find,

I wondered the fountain,

Would it fill me and find me

Tonight.

 

Day #48 – Days

August 15

2 days later..

From spared by the Savor,

I was watching your steps, and

Heartbeats,

All the blood that flowed,

All the blood that was flawed,

Was it enough?

Are you just the pastor?

Are you just the pasture?

We were grazing on the things you said..

We were here,

And you weren’t.

You were gone, lost,

Tacked, traced, out of space,

Out of the places of our hearts,

Lost from the start..

Here and now..

You wanted the complicated talk,

And the reasons for the walk,

I left you staring at the wall,

I left you for days, and more days.

 

Shouldn’t Have

Add it on..
Everything that was started,
I am here to finish.
So why is offense in the way?
I want it to be worth something,
I want to stay.
I don’t know how to let it go,
How to make it fade away.
These desires for safety,
When I started reflecting 4 years ago…
All I know is everything is now.
Everything of October is now…

***********

Late night..cant sleep..10.22

Day #47 – Been Here

August 13th

I have been here before,

Climbing was never new,

Neither was trying to find You,

Rose early,

Was Monday,

Was day after Sunday,

Crashes were the past,

Were the out last,

Vegas was just the day,

Was just the way,

Tired was really the only way,

A burn,

And the earn,

Where are you standing now?

Are you on fire, again?

Cause I had to send the message,

And ask for the massage,

When I return,

Are you gonna be there?

There, waiting for me?

I have been here before,

Here waiting for the explore,

The adventure,

The last long you call

All night long..

I know you,

I know you have been here too.