When Do I

7 days,
7 years,
Came to an end!
I was waiting for the change,
For the greatest of the rearrange,
I was finding the lose change,
I was asking for the better of the
Furniture,
And the better of the future I could
Barely see,
Why are you always the one I see when
I close my eyes?
I used to fear the fear that came with the night,
That came with not getting it right,
Yeah, I am up late, 11:30pm,
Waiting for the am,
Asking to dream again,
Napping on the out and the
Win,
Wanting it to begin,
A new love,
A new kind of above,
Cause its been a little to
Heavy above me,
I am afraid of losing the sleep,
Rather now I am more scared of
Losing the peace that got me
Here to begin with..
So cross those arms wide open,
Open them again with no words
Spoken,
You are the faded of the beauty,
You are the one I see when I
close my eyes

7 Days

I am pulled into it.
I want to be loud, like real loud.
7 days until you say forever,
Can’t break that bond, ever!
Was a bad brother,
Had a better mother,
We had some shit for furniture,
We had a much better future,
We had not hired photographer,
No live camera collector,
We had that dad talk by the theater,
We had that talk of the rapture,
That hope filled final capture,
That kind of blessing no one gave
A crap about anyway,
Because–daily, got in the way–
I am broken still,
And passing you still,
Windy and winding down,
Ready for me–
Am I the high that you had?
Am I the sky that led you bad?
Cause I miss taking the time
To stare at it too–
I am at the verge,
And the edge,
I am comfortable with me
Now, and If I see you soon
I will be the zoom
And the speed that you need.
I had a feeling,
I was always your ceiling,
Using me like a cap,
Like a rap you couldn’t
Write yourself,
I was the rhyme and the rhythm
You needed to survive,
The honey in the bee
Hive,
I was working, always,
To build your temple,
To steal your shovel,
Cause every word ended,
With plows and shares,
And war ending tares,
And which victory did
I get to choose?
Cause 7 days is a much
Longer maze,
Is a better set of 70’s,
And tragedies,
So, where are you now?
Windy Chicago,
Calling me late,
When I had a ton on
My plate,
When she wasn’t gonna
Stay anyway,
Cause everything was
Higher in L.A.
Dark over the light
Over the night–
Like I was the autopsy,
Fulling your prophecy,
I was problem mental,
Body like a rental,
Where is that second death anyway?
It was on the weekend getaway?
The Friday night stay–
The final Babeling,
The final spelling of
That name we would never
Know.
That laughing taboo,
No, I mean just laughing
Was like a boo,
Like a hush,
Like a save it for heaven,
When no one will disagree.
Like I had a spell,
A spell on me,
Like magic,
And black cats,
Like fences and
Snap chats,
Like everyone just
Wants a filter for
Everything, a faded
Color for nothing of
Magic,
7 days until you say yes,
Yes to the magic,
And that pain will
Be forever,
A little sun,
A little begun,
Like laughter now,
Cause was it all that
Complicated?
Like would I get paid for
Speaking right,
Or staying up all night?
Did you drive me down
And keep me up?
Did you freeway it up?
Cause few have stayed,
And many have left,
And the crowds still
Shatter the same..
I hope you get a little bit
More than 7 days.

Criminal

Maybe I’d be the worst criminal,
The worst animal you’ve ever seen.
I am done moving on with you in
Front,
You get the backseat now,
I was hearing those lower voices from
You,
I was trying to stay upstairs all those
Nights, all those fights,
All those brights you never found.
Maybe I thought I was bought
By you,
A better risk was the better you,
I just don’t know what is worse
Death with no hearse,
Blessings with no curse,
Reward just for trying,
Just to avoid the already
Dying truth,
Faith needs no proof,
Intention needs no
Evidence..
But I wanted it to last a little longer,
A little longer than it did,
A little longer only because of you,
I am still the criminal here
Cause I am letting you in,
In my head,
In the dead,
In the sin that spins..
None can clean it but Him,
So my crime is seeing you still,
Now that it would never be real,
But it was,
But it had been,
But I am in the dead pan,
I am ready to rob again,
To steal without any fear,
Or any kind of care,
I no reward is never clear
What it is or what it will be,
Its just there,
Up in the air,
For that future fear day,
Burn day,
When all is made clear,
Risk was in the making,
So was the love,
So was all that I had laid
Out for you,
So my crime is imagining
You, imagining the way it
Could have been,
My crime is being criminal,
Being the one to rob you
Of all of this,
But what kind of fun is
This life if it doesn’t involve
A little risk?

High Life

I just want it all.

The high life,

The high flights.

I saw you mom,

Live in the air,

You came down

You came near

But you were always living up there.

I missed those eyes,

Red as always,

Dried with thin

Colorado air,

I missed you,

I missed the here.

I am lost sitting here

Thinking I could go back.

What was I missing?

All our talks about getting

Away and going anyway?

I was clicking the clock

And hiding the socks,

Sick of the same thing

Daily,

Now the higher life

Has come near me,

Has come to me,

And where am I?

Where will I still be?

I missed all the things about you

And I think I still do,

You made that summer

Worth it, you made it like

I won’t forget it,

It hurt like a mother—

Cause even she can’t fix

This mess,

I am high,

Dreaming,

Asking,

The questions,

Where will you be?

Will you be up there-

High with me?

Life, part 1.

This is the life I want to live
This is the place I have to give,
I had a home for so long
It never did last long..
You chose the smog,
You left the cog of safety,
You drove here like crazy,
You circled the mountains,
You sat and stayed up waiting
For the commands,
Clapping both hands,
Staying in the stands,
Who was the one that was the better of men?
I wanted to move to,
Out west, to the best,
For the rest,
It faded and It was jaded
Love I felt towards you,
I wanted life to take a hold of me,
But death had a different story to
Write,
A different time to ignite.
So, I stayed, I stayed in that fight,
I stayed in it with you.
I lived better for you,
I lived in general,
Because it was for You,
Now I am still around,
Still need the grace to
Abound,
But I am not here for much longer.
Life
I used to be so afraid of change,
Now I am more afraid of not changing at
All,
All you ever said was speaking to my
Instability,
That what I really needed was balance
And patience,
It sounded so true for a little while,
That all of life was better at a slower
Pace, at a stand still.
Yes, I was ill
Yes, I was sick.
But it was because I listened to
Much to you.
I packed my bags,
I packed every secret away,
I ran away from that midnight safety,
Where I was building it all for You,
For your night and day,
I was burning it all day,
I was up for it all night,
I was waiting for things to feel better
In the right,
I was the one fulfilling your prophesy,
As if all of it came down to night and day,
As if that was the only way?
I felt that life to,
I wanted that life to,
I got this life that is without you,
I am lost still in finding my way,
So, still, and so, so sweet,
This today, is the life to lead,
Is the way to succeed,
Life is the source,
Life is the chore,
Life is the cure,
Life needs to come back to
Staying so sweetly, and so greatly
Pure..