Outside My Head: A new Kind of Trust

I’ve never been to good at titles, I just want you to read. I am listening to this band called Cider Sky, so if they are shady or something please let me know, they seem to be Postal Service style with some Starbucks attached to it, in other words; really good blogging music. The pen is blue….ROYAL BLUE!!!!!!!!! and that is what has been going on in this head. I am a little all over the place today but I am sure of one thing and that is trusting Him is the word this season.

Ps, 37 burns in me right now. Wait on him, commit to him, delight in Him, trust in Him and in the process of committing to the Lord He will make you like Him. I have been, as well as some of my closest friends, in a season of change. Every post ATC month like September gets me reflecting on what a great summer that was, then as the fall leaves start to change and I pull out the warmer Gap clothes ( thanks Jackson!) I slip into more questions to God. I start to ask: what season is this?

I am now looking back at the year of 2012 and having just turned 27 I am really seeing that Trust is the word of the Lord. Trust in God. Trust in simple truth. Trust in who God says He is. And Trust in who God says I am.

This blog has gone many directions( if you have been following from the beginning). January 2007 was a glorious season of the NW days with Zack and myself living every moment to blog our lives.2008 morphed into a post-reflection of the sleepless nights that tested and tried me in a way that I never had experienced. 2009 was poems like a waterfall. It was the time I lived in Orange County and watched so much pain take place and redemption happen at the same time. The award-winning( Shoreline Awards) poem ‘ it Hurts So Good’ became the emblem of that season of life. 2010 continued on to be more poems and the transition back to Kansas City. 2011 most likely is when I started to really shift to reflecting on film and movies which is the current ambition in my life. And now 2012 has a mix of all of this: God, art, poetry!

The point in the recap is that Trust is the word in all of these years. I just turned 27 this past week and it hit me very hard that trials and suffering will always be a part of the journey but the only thing that will get me through it will be my declaration of truth over my life. I cannot change unless I trust God’s leadership. In fact, I will not change unless I submit to His ways.

This is not pressure to change on my own. I have done that to many times. That is a religious spirit where we are kicking and striving in our own power to transform ourselves. I am talking about speaking the word over ourselves and becoming like Christ!

If anything I have learned in 8 years of being in Kansas City, it is that I cannot change myself but in order to change I have to face myself, and that is the challenge for all of us.

It is very easy to hide behind entertainment or Facebook, or tweeter( ha, ha its not really spelled that way), but silence and stillness, those are the hardest places to be.

So, the word this season is to trust.And if you really trust God I believe He will carve out a path of risk for you, he will ask of you to take chances that require looses some things but gaining more things in His timing, in His leadership. I think often we forget that God is always using our present situations to create in us a future that is built upon Him.

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