What Am I

I am not asking what am I
To do with my life
I am asking who do I
Want to become

For the proof is in my
Choices and the vices
That splices the good
Part of me and all of me
You do ask and I cannot
Afford to live dead and see
Dead all of my days,

For deep goes to deep
Pain and its terrain in
Me, nothing is free in
This corrupted river we
All swim in,

What will I be in twenty
And plenty of time piled
Up and to know you will
That be me, to know about
You cannot be me, it weighs
Heavy on me now to
Get louder with you,
Red colors like led and
Carries me down

Help me know who I am
And let me understand

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