Out For Me

Older Reflection.To all who struggle with brain chemistry.

Chaos it lives inside of me
Chaos it calls out to me,
What am I led by, what am I guided by,
Ocean tide, call my name, sweep me away again
Its that swell again, its that hell again, its that mind again
Always asking nervous questions, nagging me to change
Nagging me to rearrange a new life, one that is not pain
And suffering, you see the buffering is what makes me
Press into Him, makes me climb the mountain with hands wide open and I am wondering why all the time when I should no longer be full of shoulds and woulds
But rather be faced with mercy calling me, mercy falling

Me, leaves racking, soul still aching, good-byes to the seasons of life they change inside me all of the time, feet not on this hardwood floor anymore, cds on repeat
All the the more, hot shower and an hour of torment feels

More then dormant, lying awake chest burning and many
Petitions, guilty has stamped me and shame has had it out for me, standing now has become a hard thing to do for falling is the end of the line for me now to give into
Death—to try to past that test, the halls of the unit they don’t unify me they defy me and

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s