Found You Then

This is a reflection on past experiences and my struggles. God has pulled me through dark times and caused me to see Him in everything I do.

I connected,
I connected myself to you,
Humidity killed my humility,
For I was sweating in action,
Searching for satisfaction,
Heat and flames and the names
Above all other names reigned over me,
I sinned, I trusted, I rusted in what could
Never bring me to wholeness,

I sought your fullness, I ate what I
Wanted to eat, I paced the hallways
Of dark and no spark to find you—I
Zipped up the hospital gown, my back
Open before the world around me—just
Your back, just it I must see, for no man
Can see your face and live! Come down,
God, come down from your mountain,
‘Stand where we have been, you know
Our breath is weak and our body is thin’
Your law, it was, once written on the tablet,
Scribbled down upon the stone, thrown upon
The people—yes, we will do it God, all that you
Command, but no God, we won’t be strong, or
Live long, we must have you or we will die!

I saw you there, summer clicked in unison,
Pain a denizen, an unhappy place, they came,
They filled, they never did give up on me—
They showed up daily, I was mad, mad at the
Darkness around me, the devil was a bevel
Carving out my destiny, but I won’t ask for
Bread, I won’t change my own stones, I will
Go through it God, go through it just to meet
With you—Noah to save me, Noah to be with
Me, teeth grow, hair grown, little man know—
I won’t give up on you, I won’t let the darkness
Take you, take me, or take my family!

I found you there, found you then, I found in
I found to, I had to go through—I paced daily
Seeking for peace, searching for a release—
I saw your face in the crowds, in the darker
Corners of the earth—I see now, humidity
Was needed, for sweating out the toxins is
How we learn—find me God, find me going
Through what is needed to get to you

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