Backwards Effect

Backwards effect
Strike through letters effect
Youth centered regret,
He mulled over it, daily—
Spread the crazy on us,
Lamps dim, curtains closed,
Balance never walked in,
Never took us in, the couch
Was ripped and so was our
Unity—I reflect, I redact,
Sophomore scars to come,
She never stayed the same,
She always did change—now
I see that it was never going
To satisfy—summer was always
The time to dine and dive in to
The world around us,

Backwards my mind goes,
Wanting sweet innocence again,
I let my eyes see destruction,
The temple was destroyed just
A little bit each day, the drive
Through, the drive in, the smoke
That always did rise from us,
Cede surrender played in the
Background, hockey faded with
The sunset, I rose with the sunrise,
I needed a car to get to you,
Text me safety, text me protection,
Sit with me in the intersection,
Life had to many options—could
We just love, and love each other,
She saw my faceless face, so literal
Did it become, she was to pretty for
Me, to good to be seen with this
Immature sound of a man—to
Many times it fades to black,
When I fade back, when I
Start saying I wish I had
This or wish I had that—

Wishing has passed,
I am a man at last,
The scars and the wounds
Of the past are here at last,
In me now, with me real loud,
We stayed close, sister and I,
In the in between of becoming
Older and over being younger—
Age has gotten a hold of me—
Mom came home, brought home
Control and safety—the shouting
Destroyed me—for the world has
Taken it out of me—I want that
Innocence again, that fearless
Living again—28 strong now,
28 long years of waiting,
Waiting for love to change
Me—I don’t go backwards
Again, only when I see your
Love within all that has happened,
And for it I am forever grateful

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