Full Time Man

“I never meant to be your part-time lover
Then again I’ve never been a full-time man
Never though it’d hurt so bad to see you with another
Guess I’m the fool that ya, ya think I am”
—From Relient K’s song PLT, from Collapsible Lung album(2013)—been a huge fan of them in the past. Giving this album a try. Making me think of manhood and men in general.

Growing up, growing apart,
All the heart stuff laid out in front
Of me, pain has carried me, close to
People and ample example of getting
Stretched, getting the wretch of the
Past to the back—now there is lack,
Now there is the past we all face,
Part time I am, part time friend,
Part time lover, part time man
I cannot be, bleed the vacancy sign,
Bleed it down on me, out of order heart
Has a disorder: it can’t keep loving without
Getting it back, it can’t keep collecting lack
With debts and chains and payments upon
The pavement I walk upon,

A man faces his challenges, a man is his challenges,
A man embraces the four corners of the earth
And the winds that blow, and the things he
Doesn’t know—the women get kicked upon
For the man is laughed on, for he doesn’t
Stand up her, does not speak for her,
In the day that she should be spoken
For—evil and perverse converse upon
This land that I walk in—it is an apparition
Behind me, a casting shadow beneath me
I will not be like the rest, a lion in me at
Best—I will roar, I will lead the earth to
Him, I will die trying, I will die knowing
I lived like a man—full time man is
Required, full time friend, full time
Dad, full time spouse, full time house
Duty, full time all that requires me to
Burn for Him, and bring others with me

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