Mourning By Morning

I usually take time to post the meanings behind the prose in chunks of time. I write so much stuff that it is usually a reflection on past, present and future. This specific piece of writing has to do with the Night watch days in Kansas City. From September 2004 til March 2008 I was apart of the Night watch at IHOP-KC. The night watch consisted of praying from 12am to 6am. In those days we would end our day with the praying shift, which meant we would sleep from 7-8am til about 2 pm. It was 2pm for me because I had class at 3pm. For a good two years straight my bestest friend Zack and I would release our extrovertedness onto each other(and really, anyone else that wanted to have some fun for an hour and a half, Kyle and Jacob came a lot too) and we would go to the other IHOP(house of pancakes). Favorites: chicken fingers with onion rings and lots of honey mustard or that really good ham melt sandwich. Zack usually got a skillet of some kind. And sometimes we would just go and drink decaf coffee and load up on mints.

Those early years(18-22) I was marked with so much vision for my life. Encountering the affections of God over me and getting a vision for wanting the power of God. Leadership came in that time too and both Zack and I had gotten out of relationships with girls at the same time in March of 2006. And it was at that time that we started really connecting with each other.

It was the combination of being a young 20 year old leader along with the dynamics of remaining connected to a godly women that wasn’t in the picture anymore. I look back at those years and it was so necessary to have someone to process it all with. Learning about scripture and God paves the way to try to have that carry over into life questions. ‘All things for LIFE, and godliness!’ I had that combination going all the time. How do I study God but how do I live my life? The morning did usually consist of how to lead and pastor people, how to dress better for people you like( I am laughing while writing that one :), and usually it had some other kind of girl talk in their. But, in all honesty, usually we found some kind of humility vein. It seemed like all those talks in all those mornings ended with encouragement to keep building and to keep moving forward in God. We grew in a greater understanding of what life was really all about. Not just getting a girlfriend, but getting Jesus. And having Him be at the center of everything.

The days of both IHOP’s are over and past but the memories remain alive and well. Never forget the value of friendship. The problems and solutions come through other people. Of course, we always go to God first but God also chooses sometimes to put people in your life that He uses to speak through, to get to you. It is all about this relationship. I so value and love Zack and his family 10 years later. Its been a joy and a great journey. Thank you Kansas City.

You lived it back then,
The nights of come again,
Speak again, softly behind the
Newspaper, loudly with the
Half heated coffee, the half
Heated friction I brought to the
Table, I was raised in hesitation,
I was raised in the halfway house,
A slave mostly, a son to come, for
He stays in the house forever,
Its clever that forever motivates
Temporary pain and temporary
Stains, but back then, when nights
Were mornings, when mornings
Were no longer boring faded
Sunsets but upside down divots
In my young face and all the space
In the front row I made for myself
The last were never first with me,
The front was where I did stand,
Where I lived, behind is in front of
Me now, years have passed at last
From those exchanges called
Pancakes, called syrup, called
Sweet talking of the future—out
There, through the windows did
I look, as the world drove it daily
On the freeway, beat the sunset they
Did do, to try to get to you—up above
Was always down below with me,
For God has come near and nearness
To me is good—I left those mornings
Alive and awake, working to be loved,
To be received, for the hair to recede
And wisdom to take root—mourning
Is the morning now, pain is the echo
That bounces back at me, a subtle
Suffering has come with the ages,
Has filled these poetic pages—don’t
Abstract it around me, God is real
And in the details—He is the force
Behind the mourning, behind those
Endless mornings, endless night watches
With you, endless Kansas views with
The purview of You, endless love to be
Searched for

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