The Father Wound

It seems to be fitting that on Father’s day to talk about fathers. I have been meaning to preclude this post with a post talking about what I have been writing in my poetry in the past six weeks. I have about 50 poems to reflect on. I don’t ever feel like I need to explain what I am meaning most of the time when it comes out but recently there has been a lot on my mind in terms of my own humanity and my constant need to reflect on poverty of spirit.

I think intertwined in many issues on the surface is something deeper going on and taking place inside of all of us( and especially men). I have written this a little bit when talking about pornography that men are the ones that will make any change in the perversion of the industry. I think sometimes we have no problem acknowledging that God made the heavens and the earth and he ‘formed’ Adam in the dust and then made Eve to be by his side. However, we sometimes just stop there and don’t think of God’s design in relation to marriage, family and kids.

God has a deep and a burning passion to reflect what already exists and has existed in heaven.

For example, God longs to be close to humans. When angels rebelled and became demons and followed the lead of Satan( or Lucifer) God let them go. Its a mystery as to how this took place but we know that ‘angels long to look into this..mystery!’And so God says ‘Nothing is impossible for God!’ in context to God becoming a man in Christ Jesus.

God has come near and He has it deep in His heart for humans to reflect a heavenly reality. We marry because it is the closest we can get to being like God. We see the closeness of the Father and the Son. We see that: ‘how much more will God!’ If God sent His Son for us how could we ever imagine that God is stingy up in heaven.

So, marriage is about that closeness but in the marriage context men and Fathers are the leaders. Men are the gatekeepers of the women’s heart and they are the ones that set the pace of the relationship and lead and guide. This does not mean that women are less than, or that women cannot or are unable to be leaders or make decisions. This is not a full post on women in ministry but what needs to be said is that ‘sons and daughters will prophesy!’ and that is good enough for me to believe that women can do a lot of things in context to ministry.

God has made men and women to love each other and reflect the intimacy that the Father desires of us all. God has also made it so that the Father and the man really be the pillar and the leader of the family unit. Its no secret these days that more and more men are not around. Either the women has a child and the man leaves when the child is born or the man is around but is barely around and is not present mentally and emotionally to be a good leader for the family.

Fatherless America is now where we are at. This is a severe crisis because once the man is removed from the position of healthy dad and man then the rest of the system crumbles and falls.

The Father wound lives on inside of every man and women. We all need a dad to tell us we can do it and to tell us we are worth it. We all need a man to show us and guide us and help us live out the vision that we have for our lives.

Myself personally have not had the best of examples in this area. I know, however, that it still leaks out in a lot of my poetry. Recently, too, I have written on the idea of the man and the idea of masculinity. More to come on that but now the father wound still lives on in us all.

Today is a day to honor dads. I get that and think we should continue in that path. There is a lack of honor in my generation and a really appreciating of the elderly in our midst. But, I don’t want to just settle by just talking to my dad and saying good job over the years!

No! I don’t want to just stop there. It is time for us to, as Henri Nouwen says in his book The Inner Voice Of Love..’we have to let our father figures go!’

It makes me think heavily upon the idea of control and leadership. I have to be reaching for God one hundred percent in my life. I have to be living it out day in and day out of my life. The best man I can be will only take place in finding it in God.

The Father is meant to affirm and guide and direct. The result of not having a dad in people ‘s lives is a lack of direction. And people perish when there is no vision.

Today is the day no matter your past to start looking past just your earthly influences and entering into what God has in store for you. This does not mean that you deny your feelings and distant yourself from your earthly dad. No, you can still have that relationship with your dad but it means that in the long run of growing older you are able to rest in God as Father.

Psalms 27:10 “Even if my mother and father forsake me, You will not forsake me.”(paraphrased most likely).

The Father wound must be embraced and healed by God Himself. In order to get the healing I believe we need to fast and lay down those things that God is asking of us.

Happy Father’s Day!

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