It was ten years ago this past May that I graduated high school in Fort Collins, Colorado. The summer of Uncle Juney(footage to yet be released) when I was in a dark place. All responsibility fell off of me and all I had to worry about was being a cashier at Safeway on Drake and Taft Hill(somewhere close to there). And so partying with friends and some not so good friends. Going to the warped tour at Invesco field the end of July 2004 to see Taking Back Sunday, New Found Glory and Yellowcard( as well as many others like Mae, Underoath, exc.)
The summer of smoking and drinking and violent movies came to a radical halt when my mom flew with me to Kansas City for the beginning of the Fire in the Night Internship. A few days before I had watched the book of Mormon movie and I bought Under the Banner of Heaven. And Stuart Greaves had just got asked to come back to the Night watch to lead again the fire in the night. IHOP-KC had been going nearly five years straight of nonstop prayer and worship before the throne of God.
The seeds of Kansas City had been getting thrown into the soil of my hardened heart really intensely the year leading up to Kansas City. I had my friends and a very special girl my whole last year of high school and making the switch to spending hours upon hours just reading the word, praying, worshiping and trying to make sense of this premonition( later more so confirmed by Scripture) that the end of the world is coming soon. It is possible for this Great and Terrible day of the Lord to come sooner than I could ever expect. The days of Left Behind could actually be sooner then I could ever expect.
September 2004 marked the beginning of what would be an 8 year adventure. Meeting Zack on the night watch, making videos of it all and later working with teenagers for the summers have made its many stories( some shared on this blog) that I can never, ever forget.
I think what I have come to realize the most is that God has made me in a very unique way. I am not an accident and I am not someone that is a mistake. A lot of times we don’t actually believe that God has spent time crafting and making us. And not just making us to be like others but making us to represent a very unique element of Him. I have come to believe in this a lot more and it has been a very sure cure of depression and any other form of sadness that would try to steal from the master builder and master Creator, God Himself.
Prayer has more value then it has ever before and the war of boredom continues. 10 years later and we are still just beginning. I long to see my generation enter into all that God ha for us. I long to see it for myself and I desire to not waste that which God has given and that simply is the time that we have right now. Love, it is with me and without it, I am nothing.