A Gap/A Light

This reflection is hitting a lot of things. The Family of The Year song Hero is one, but the issue of not having dads seems to permeate movies and stories and it really never gets old because art reflects the trials of a time period. The past is the past and my own journey of my family is not the only one to have gone through pain with having a lack of something. But, as men, we can be better than what was modeled for us. There comes a point where even saying, “Oh I am messed up now because of how I saw it when I was a kid!” Yes, we can use that mindset to move forward, but we also stop doing that too. At the end of the day God is our Father and is good and if we can focus on that we can be what we maybe don’t think could ever take place internally.

Meeting smoke,
Worship machine,
Cranked up, moved up,
Reverberated sunset days,
Vibration and rhyme of all the
Time that has gone by,
Dad, where were you when
It counted, when I did not
Know how to count for myself,
Stars to tally up, skates to tie,
It seemed a lie to go to church
On Sunday but then to live angry,
To live unhappy, yes we were a family
But a bad one at that,
Movies move me now,
Cause its still lost somehow-
Father alcohol, Father hornet’s
Nest,
Father stirred me, Father broke me,
My generation is backwards from
Never getting forward ,
From never seeing any depth,
Now church seems like a joke,
For spotting a fake is much easier
Then anyone with any kind of message-
My mess has made me the message,
My test now is the testimony–
30 years to come in the cold thumbs
Of November.
We all say we can be sons without dads,
But can we be ever more than that?
I love the sugar of acceptance.
The sweetness of resistance,
The adopted man has nowhere else
To go, he will always have a family,
Your dad, my dad, all of our dads might
Still bend like twigs in the wind of pain,
And in the sound of tribulation–
But I can still be everything I was made
To be, I am not a hero, I am not gonna be
Big on my own–But if I still choose to die
When everyone doesn’t then what I never
Had can become what everyone needs–
A man, a Father, A husband, A lover of the
Light

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