This is dedicated to my older sister Alyssa Ahern who is moving soon! I love you dearly.
Met you way back when
Pain was undercover
Side room sitting, leather
Couch knitting, up all night
For the thrill of the light lost
Next to us—shortened bangs
With blonde looking ends—
Were they split? Was it worth it?
I never changed the inside of
Myself, it was the outer courts
That got to me, the outer places
Of superficial discovery—
The reservoir days, the reserved
Days of passion bottled up inside-
‘embrace this place’ on repeat,
Tears for the in between, joy
For the hockey games, for all
That I couldn’t blame—two
Hands in the stands, you came
With two hands—
My colors have changed,
That bathroom exchange—
Shared it and it never circled
The drain—why did you have
To leave so soon?
Jetway discoveries,
Jetlag love on delay
You moved to L.A.
Before those dreams hit
Our sleep too—
Sister, brother, love
For mother, where is your
Father? We always asked—
No just on vacation
But on placation for
The reservations made—
Someone to sit with,
Needed you daily,
What about girls?
What about those thrills?
What about when she can’t
Get out of this head of mine?
She never really did, but you
Tied the lid, never discussed it
Instead, race wars for you, the
T.V. on repeat, the VHS on
Repeat, the love we had on delete—
Empty has defined me,
Emptied out for Jesus now—
Couch family I wanted you
And maybe never got you,
But Sis you will be missed,
So I embrace the time we have
Left—though our love will
Never end