Meaning In the Making

I have called this before the meaning behind the prose. For those of you who are new to this blog I have been writing poetry for almost 10 years now. I love it. I love the way it can sound and come out. However, I have an insecurity that comes from a place of raw honesty. I feel like the audience( that don’t know me) are assuming that I am always talking about deep personal things that are all true. I feel this internal focus that everything I am referring to has happened and is about a real person.

I have avoided explaining everything because it is more of an adventure as someone writing in poem form to just let the audience decide what to believe. I am still learning how to value people while I express pain that takes place. I do believe their has to be a righteous line that we draw in the sand. Letting your anger and bitterness for others brew and build inside of you( no matter how much it helps you write better) will in turn damage your emotions and your soul. God is the healer and He is also the creator.

He heals what He has created because we damage ourselves and those around us. This is an entire blog post and a series of teaching on how and why the human experience is the way that it is. God is good and set apart and Holy, and at the same time He moves through humans.

Their is always so much room to combine real and unreal together. I am talking usually about a few core experiences and memories. I do combine real actual lines from music and real moments threaded with a perspective I am trying to convey.

My core meanings that I express:

  1. Family: I am referencing my mom as a flight attendant. Poems like Red Eyes and Plane Mercy showcase this. I am usually borrowing the language of jetway and departures from the experience I had as a child. The language of airport and travel makes me feel very human and not so alone.
  2. Friends: I have had so many powerful friendships in Colorado and in my 8 years of Kansas City. And now in the last 2 1/2 years of living in California. Zack is someone that I lived with and did life with and the change that was experienced when he moved was one that was a challenge to adjust to. I wouldn’t have it any other way, however, in terms of opening myself up to connect with others.
  3. God: I am always trying to reflect on some part of God and His interaction with us. It is God being present to us in the experience of life itself.

Who is YOU?

You is not one single person. It is not ever limited to one relationship. It usually is a series of experiences threaded together. I will say that You is also not always me or even about me, it is also a way to insert in my observations of others around me.

I do sometimes quote real things that have happened and music that inspires. This was from a poem called Downtown Again( 12.31.11). I was living in Kansas City and was working at Trader Joes. Since its been so long, this is about a girl that I was talking to. She was working at the clothing store next to my work and the first night I came in to say hi to her, she had this song from Fleet Foxes playing called Helplessness Blues:

“What’s your name, what’s you station” what am I playing recently?

I then reflected on seeing her in downtown Kansas City and it was more of a sad kind of see then it was anything else. She was really with someone else but it wasn’t like we were together either. I just remember it was freezing cold and I was at Starbucks and I went through these revolving doors and walked into the cold wind.

“Revolving doors yesterday, downtown getaway and His voice so

Sweetly, departure recently from past ways have granted me to..”

All in all my heart was after the Lord. My heart was wanting what God was saying. I did like this person and it didn’t work out, but that is what happens to us sometimes. Our ability to stay tender and not hate others( and we can in our artistic expression) that comes from endless grace.

Keep reading and thanks for reading. 60 days of poetry continues. Think about this: what is the rig and what is the gig? What do you think I mean by those two ideas?

 

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