I had a lot of Saturdays without you,
I had a lot of free Sundays,
I wanted to face that place,
I wanted to return there.
I didn’t want to worship
Anymore. I didn’t want these
Arms open anymore.
I didn’t want you to see me
Here. It started there. It was
Over there.
I woke up thinking different.
Thinking Friday nights in the
O.C. Thinking magic by the sea.
I bought those white shoes.
I thought I was normal for
Those to stay clean.
So Sunday was never the same.
Ryan told me of worship and
Suffering was the message,
Suffering was the massage.
No one knows how to rest in this place.
You let me nap on that couch.
You let me stay up late.
You let me in.
Your house was like a hotel.
I’ve seen to many of those
Lately.
I needed you more.
I needed the top floor.
I was thinking she was gonna
Call back and call again, but
I couldn’t do that,
That had to come to an end.
I was wild again. I felt the free again.
Just for a little Sunday night.
I saw those movies with a new
Vision. I saw her move west and
Put fear to the test.
I related like Batman would.
I had a dad issue to.
I had a new kind of view to
Look to.
I had an instagram
I had to delete those pics
Of you,
I had to press new on everything.
I had that drive home.
I had that smog filled sunset.
I had the eclipse to look to.
So, where you gonna go?
Anywhere but here.
THE RUCKUS JOURNAL 