Author: jareddiehl88
Fade Away, Part 2
Fade Away
My Depression, Part 2( Old Post)
Dealing With Depression, part 3
John 5:5-9 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.”
So, here I am making myself vulnerable to you on Facebook talking about my issues. All of us can relate to this man. We have access to healing and the power of God through faith but it seems like our brokenness gets the best of us sometimes and we can’t find a way to move forward. This has been a hard time for the world and our society. We are being forced to rely on each other in a new way but will we accept the healing invitation?
There is a Proverb found in 14:10 that says, ” Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” I believe this captures suffering and pain. We get so used to a bitter and disappointed heart that we can’t find a way to connect with people in true joy and fellowship. It takes amazing grace and humility to ask for help. To come out of internal war within and to break out into asking for help.
Practical applications:
#1 Don’t make excuses. It is easy to complain and get caught up in our circumstances but God has provided a sufficient grace for us. There is always a way out and usually it happens by asking for help from others. He has given us everything we need for a Godly life( 2 Peter 1).
#2 Ask for help. The smallest of Scriptures with the largest implication is Psalm 12:1, “Help, Lord!” We need God’s help and God uses people. I wrote a Facebook post the other day highlighting all of the people( 50 plus) that have prayed with me and helped me in this hard season that I have been in. I believe the feeling I have of being better in this past week has been related to all of the help and support I have asked for. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for people praying with me and encouraging me.
#3 Take action. Faith without works is dead and we all know this. God is calling us to act on our faith. To pray for those around us. Prayer is action. Prayer is acting on God’s promises and holding God to them. He wants to move in our lives. We need to pick up our excuses and our self-pity and walk. We need to trust that by moving in faith He will break in and deliver!
#4 Don’t compare. It is easy to be like this man and look around at what everyone else is doing. To scroll to much through Facebook and compare ourselves to others and to imagine a story that isn’t in reality. The man by the pool couldn’t see his chance for healing because he was busy watching what everyone else was doing instead of acting in faith himself .
I shared what I did earlier in this article to show you that I have struggled. I am still figuring out how to manage the symptoms of my bipolar and it has not been easy. I often have the thought that I hate it. I hate that I have to spend all of this time and energy getting help from doctor’s and therapists and medications but God has been faithful and has used all of it.
Please reach out for help and act in faith that in voicing your struggle there is hope. I have wrestled with hopelessness and it has not won. I am in a much better place today because of the people that have helped me get up and walk! You can do the same. Reach out and see what God does when you do.
My depression
Shuffle
Sleep On The Floor
I have a new Blog for my Louder Now Podcast. This is from that.
Certainty
8/7 to 8/21- I was getting some help at the hospital for my mental health.
I am looking for a moment
I am looking for me to own it,
This illness is a mistress
Cause I hid myself from you,
Is there a new view
I am looking for a moment
When all you have are moments
To give away..
Are you defined,
Or are you definition.
Are you repeating,
Or are you repetition
Is this old,
Or is this a rendition
How many times have you called
Me out into the hallway,
To call me out of my medicines,
To calm me down with medicines
To bring down all the sympathy,
Cause this here is no symphony,
I feel the sounds,
And the louds,
And the ears that ring.
But I am asking for a revision,
A revision of my decisions.
Are you any kind of collection,
Or any kind of selection
Are you my friend,
Or my companion.
Is everyone gonna stay,
Or is everyone gonna leave.
Is this a 51/ 50,
Or are you never gonna leave me.
Cause in the end all I have is the hallway..
Is the long stay,
A break like this called Hell,
You call getting well.
Did I give it all to you,
Did I surrender fully..
You press
You pressure
You sift
You shift
You ask for the gears
You take all the tears,
You speed this thing in
The fast lane.
I am well cause
I am in Hell,
And getting well
Is the next swell,
Give me waves,
Give me freedom.
Give me a reason
To escape,
To conquer,
To win.
Hills
Making a comeback. A lot on my mind. A lot going on in life.
To feel again,
To find you again,
I knew just hallways,
And corner spaces,
And scared places,
If these halls had hills
They would be alive to..
If I live open then you can see me,
You can see all of me,
And there is no going back,
Going back to living in the the black,
Rich and slightly famous,
How many people asked about me
When I was gone?
How many texts and tweets did I get,
Even more so when I was steady
And hungry,
Only in poverty did you come
Running after me,
To feel again,
To steal again,
The moments made by sunsets,
Now I can stay up and see them,
Now I can stay up and receive them.
If these halls had hills,
They would be alive to,
They would be high too,
They would be all about you.
Stop this cycle
and this roundabout,
Show me what mercy is about,
Cause that is all I need from You
Today.