Day #47 – Been Here

August 13th

I have been here before,

Climbing was never new,

Neither was trying to find You,

Rose early,

Was Monday,

Was day after Sunday,

Crashes were the past,

Were the out last,

Vegas was just the day,

Was just the way,

Tired was really the only way,

A burn,

And the earn,

Where are you standing now?

Are you on fire, again?

Cause I had to send the message,

And ask for the massage,

When I return,

Are you gonna be there?

There, waiting for me?

I have been here before,

Here waiting for the explore,

The adventure,

The last long you call

All night long..

I know you,

I know you have been here too.

 

 

 

Day #46 – Uphill

August 5th

It was all night,

An all night flight,

A Red Eye,

You used to lie,

And hear all about it,

You used to truth,

And lie on it all night.

You used to dig,

You used to bury,

You used to carry..

All of your soul,

All your will,

All of it,

You carried uphill.

So keep it true,

Keep it real,

Did I undress you for

The feel?

Did I see you in my mind,

And waste gas for the 20th time?

Driving around and fading, too..

I was annoyed at the hill,

And bothered by You.

I am carrying this through,

Day 1 to now, day til 60,

Years til then,

Years until when.

We are left in the sidenote(s)

And footnotes too.

Will all that I did,

Will that get published, too?

Day #45 – Lost..

All of this..

Closed,

Not ever..open..

Heart, sound, spoken,

Not loud, faded in the voices..

Of all the things I used to say to

Get your attention..

….our hearts are wide open
The world is wide open………………….

Was that only true when you were a kid,

When shame is the place you hid..

When lost is not the fountain to drink from..

Yet it was wondering..

All the best summer dry spaces I could try

To see all the space(s) called dry and weak,

And thirsty..

Spent it on money can you say why?

Is this a Isaiah 55 talk..

Or a time not lost in the walk..

I am dark all aroud..

All I hear is Your sound..

 

 

Day #41- Indecision(s)

July 31st

Pressed on this mattress,

Spinning and turning since 8 in the morning,

Backwards days I thought were past me.

I still think of her,

And you at the same time.

I couldn’t make it up,

Make up the time?

Or decide,

Decide if this was the right kind.

I know you thought you could stay and I wanted you to.

August was a starter,

July 31st was the day it started with you.

The day of weddings in summer times,

Yellow shades like James Bond,

The last recording of the old camcorder,

The Hi-8 Tapes of Dana Point,

The last Marriot,

The last time I saw the outside world.

I couldn’t decide.

Did I want to stay in the breeze,

And the Dana Point,

And the main point,

And the time you met me at the beach

In that pink blaze of beauty,

In that high school memory,

The first of love and burning

And late night madness,

All of it was!

All of it had to be!

When July 31st came,

It came and went,

It all was love,

It all of summer,

It all was indecision.

Day #40 – Fast( days_)

July 28th

Making dents,

Like I said,

Went around in circles,

Traveled Oakland,

Saw the half moon bay,

Thought of the man that ran that way,

Hospital lock down, day 1, on the run,

Again..

Loved it then.

Sped fast those days,

5 years have passed.

I am fast,

Set,

Steady on the message,

You know its new to me,

One time price,

One time for me now,

Can I get here..

Can I get here somehow.

Locked, on days spent wasting myself

On pleasure.

Water Bottle, you heard?

You saw, you needed.

I gave them too,

You looked skinny,

Was that from the fast?

Or are you just always in need?

Day #39- Hits

July 28th

Taking hits and giving in..

Thought I needed it..

Device for the devices,

Can’t see the scar that fades away..

And your head too,

And that tea a little soft too,

Wrenches,

Bring them,

You did.

Trenches,

Lost, and you dig,

You did?

Where is often,

Is it daily?

Is it now,

Then,

Past,

Present,

Broken,

Tremble,

In.

Is it a minor concussion,

You know?

From all the hits.