Day #47 – Been Here

August 13th

I have been here before,

Climbing was never new,

Neither was trying to find You,

Rose early,

Was Monday,

Was day after Sunday,

Crashes were the past,

Were the out last,

Vegas was just the day,

Was just the way,

Tired was really the only way,

A burn,

And the earn,

Where are you standing now?

Are you on fire, again?

Cause I had to send the message,

And ask for the massage,

When I return,

Are you gonna be there?

There, waiting for me?

I have been here before,

Here waiting for the explore,

The adventure,

The last long you call

All night long..

I know you,

I know you have been here too.

 

 

 

Day #46 – Uphill

August 5th

It was all night,

An all night flight,

A Red Eye,

You used to lie,

And hear all about it,

You used to truth,

And lie on it all night.

You used to dig,

You used to bury,

You used to carry..

All of your soul,

All your will,

All of it,

You carried uphill.

So keep it true,

Keep it real,

Did I undress you for

The feel?

Did I see you in my mind,

And waste gas for the 20th time?

Driving around and fading, too..

I was annoyed at the hill,

And bothered by You.

I am carrying this through,

Day 1 to now, day til 60,

Years til then,

Years until when.

We are left in the sidenote(s)

And footnotes too.

Will all that I did,

Will that get published, too?

Day #45 – Lost..

All of this..

Closed,

Not ever..open..

Heart, sound, spoken,

Not loud, faded in the voices..

Of all the things I used to say to

Get your attention..

….our hearts are wide open
The world is wide open………………….

Was that only true when you were a kid,

When shame is the place you hid..

When lost is not the fountain to drink from..

Yet it was wondering..

All the best summer dry spaces I could try

To see all the space(s) called dry and weak,

And thirsty..

Spent it on money can you say why?

Is this a Isaiah 55 talk..

Or a time not lost in the walk..

I am dark all aroud..

All I hear is Your sound..

 

 

Day #44 – Hold One

August 2nd,

Woke up in the aftermath,

In the back from wrath,

In the late night sun

Of things not being won.

Here is a list,

A long one too,

Of all the things you said you were

Going to do..

How can I go far,

And love at it too,

Are you the same,

Are you never tame?

New places I wanted,

You to take me,

But if fear is love then

Then fearful I am.

 

Day #42- Crash

‘FlyPain.”

Was a poem written in 2009 about wanting to crash. Fly. high. FLYING high..looking for a crash. Inspired by getting addicted to the show Lost on ABC.( grammer chek)

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Brain goes like ( ABOVE)

Symbols and signs,

July 30th to be exact,

Thought we had a rehash

Now Sunday( 9.23.18) I am gone,

East away,

Long away,

Worn, torn, scorn,

By the horn..

Louder..it says,

Is your love loud?

Are you proud?

No, I am not..I cannot be..

So what?

So what are you going to do now..

Lost in the crash,

Sugar low,

Blood high,

Cholesterol,

On a roll.

I am up, then I am down.

I am crash,

I need you around.

‘ Sometimes we need to crash into each other just to feel something.’ –

Graham It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something..)- source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/characters/nm0000332

No..

Its 2:05am in North Carolina,

I don’t want to post pictures because you will call and wants to know,

Maybe see me,

See me for sure.

No, I am down,

I am all down,

Fall is a hollow sound,

Are we doing what we always do,

Are we still counting down days until Christmas?

 

Day #41- Indecision(s)

July 31st

Pressed on this mattress,

Spinning and turning since 8 in the morning,

Backwards days I thought were past me.

I still think of her,

And you at the same time.

I couldn’t make it up,

Make up the time?

Or decide,

Decide if this was the right kind.

I know you thought you could stay and I wanted you to.

August was a starter,

July 31st was the day it started with you.

The day of weddings in summer times,

Yellow shades like James Bond,

The last recording of the old camcorder,

The Hi-8 Tapes of Dana Point,

The last Marriot,

The last time I saw the outside world.

I couldn’t decide.

Did I want to stay in the breeze,

And the Dana Point,

And the main point,

And the time you met me at the beach

In that pink blaze of beauty,

In that high school memory,

The first of love and burning

And late night madness,

All of it was!

All of it had to be!

When July 31st came,

It came and went,

It all was love,

It all of summer,

It all was indecision.

Day #40 – Fast( days_)

July 28th

Making dents,

Like I said,

Went around in circles,

Traveled Oakland,

Saw the half moon bay,

Thought of the man that ran that way,

Hospital lock down, day 1, on the run,

Again..

Loved it then.

Sped fast those days,

5 years have passed.

I am fast,

Set,

Steady on the message,

You know its new to me,

One time price,

One time for me now,

Can I get here..

Can I get here somehow.

Locked, on days spent wasting myself

On pleasure.

Water Bottle, you heard?

You saw, you needed.

I gave them too,

You looked skinny,

Was that from the fast?

Or are you just always in need?