Day #55 – Morning After

This was Mid November thoughts..going backwards to early September

Morning after,

Fountain, is what I am after..

This was day #1,

I was thirsty, not for water,

But carefully,

For mercy.

It was clogged up, and a place to stop,

And sit in.

I was pandering in the fountains..

The place I thought I lost You carried

Me across.

Nights have been long under sweating and panting,

The deer in the stream,

So where is fear?

Is it here?

Every time we get past September,

We find October,

The month of winter,

The month of darker,

The month of sliver.

I am carried away into the

Morning, and I am looking,

Wondering, asking for the after.

So, where is fear?

Is it here?

Day #53 – Middle of the..

Day #53

8.31.18

Was never days and never nights,

I thought it was at least one more try,

I was sweating in the sun,

Waiting for the begun,

These weekly meetings what have

They become,

Can never be strange or can never be undone?

But I feel we are trying to hard just to finish,

Is this the first day of your college,

Am I a part of the collage?

I have all the blends

And I have all the colors,

All the things that make what you call

Lovers..

I am in the middle of something,

And You are the one I need.

 

 

Day #52 – Eugene

August 28th,

Summer started June 21st and ended Monday September 23rd.

I am lost in the wander,

Looking for the pander,

I had water,

She did too,

Grandma, I mean,

She passed too,

She passed two days, too,

Two times of summer was the last of the six

Times..it was 2006,

I dedicate this to you,

Rested in peace,

Did you?

Did death do it, too.

I made the wheel,

The one that spins,

And we slept, slept

In Heartbreak,

And Heartbeat,

And ‘ you still feel the old heat.’

I am not awake,

Falling, too,

The last text I read was from

You.

 

 

Day #50 – Cement

August 21st

Got on a plane,

Made it plain,

Nick of time,

Out of the dime,

Asked for coffee,

For the 5th time,

Boarded that flight,

Stayed short on the night,

Ran low on darkness,

Felt the harness,

This was large,

Larger than I imagined.

Ran in circles only for you

To Fathom.

I am here,

Fountain longing,

Still wandering,

Cracks in the cement,

Cracks in the concrete.

Day #49 – Cracks

August 18th

Preparing for it,

Destroying for it, too.

A breakdown,

Was never half new,

Was never half knew.

I had to walk with the solid,

I had to walk with the college.

I had to feel your knowledge,

And your hands all over mine.

I made some time for reflection,

I made some time for direction,

Tried to seek it out.

I had a dry spout,

I had a place where you were

Unable to find me,

I had cracks,

I had places that I needed you

To fill,

And to find,

I wondered the fountain,

Would it fill me and find me

Tonight.

 

Day #48 – Days

August 15

2 days later..

From spared by the Savor,

I was watching your steps, and

Heartbeats,

All the blood that flowed,

All the blood that was flawed,

Was it enough?

Are you just the pastor?

Are you just the pasture?

We were grazing on the things you said..

We were here,

And you weren’t.

You were gone, lost,

Tacked, traced, out of space,

Out of the places of our hearts,

Lost from the start..

Here and now..

You wanted the complicated talk,

And the reasons for the walk,

I left you staring at the wall,

I left you for days, and more days.

 

Day #47 – Been Here

August 13th

I have been here before,

Climbing was never new,

Neither was trying to find You,

Rose early,

Was Monday,

Was day after Sunday,

Crashes were the past,

Were the out last,

Vegas was just the day,

Was just the way,

Tired was really the only way,

A burn,

And the earn,

Where are you standing now?

Are you on fire, again?

Cause I had to send the message,

And ask for the massage,

When I return,

Are you gonna be there?

There, waiting for me?

I have been here before,

Here waiting for the explore,

The adventure,

The last long you call

All night long..

I know you,

I know you have been here too.