Trap

Trapped in the
Tired cause I stayed
Tied cause I left,
Left in a rush with
It, Left you in the
Hush of it.
Got caught up in the
Lust of it,
Wanted a new rust
On this.
Shaved it off by
Time, with the mine,
All my belongings on the
Optimal,
On the
Bottom oval.
I was after the white.
No house.
Politics of the
Modest mouse..
Were we ready,
Or just present?
Were we better,
Or just the only one’s?
Going back is for this.
But life is forward
And so is green.
So is mean and lean.
New Sabotage
Or new garage?
New way of living.
That old house wasn’t giving.
I am not sure what it all means..
But I take pride in getting there.
I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,
And the journey.
But these capital letters
They are faded,
Cause meaning has become
Jaded.
Is church the next topic?
The next baby carrot?
To chase,
To circle,
To black without white
To home without house?
Isn’t it the same party
No matter who you are with?
Or this just all in my head?
Cause it was funny for a little bit,
Then, you were like..I am gonna stay
Here for a little while..
I thought I could get some extra from
You, thought I could go those miles for
You, thought this white had a house,
Had a mouse, had some corners,
Or is this your trap, and
Your fade back?

60 Days:Windy

City to me,
Come forward with me.
Standing for you,
Sitting feels to new.
I texted, I messaged, I said I would
Never live like this again.
Friday in L.A.
That hasn’t been the way.
Hotels for you,
Hotels with you.
Living out of the end of the
New.
I am ready for city.
Ready for windy.
Cause safety,
You remember
Safety? We ditched
That a long time ago.
Caught up in the net.
Feeling the regret.
All the miles on the ten
for you.
All the miles back and forth
With the wishing and the
Wishing.
Sat with the upstate,
Sat with the hesitate.
Can’t see you happy.
Can’t see you new.
Can’t keep playing these videos
Like they were the only creative
I ever knew.
Its beats, baby.
And the windy city
That has me.
I came out here to hide.
I came in here to burn for
You.
Now you want a spin,
Now you want to spiral again.
Take me with you,
Cause at least that’s
Better than the upstate,

60 Days: Aug. 31st

Hooked on the night
Needed you in the right
Fan blowing on me,
Wanted you for the near me.
You had to get all education on me,
You had to get all never seem to text me.
I saw myself,
Putting that risk up on the shelf.
Sitting down at that table,
Asking you if you would be able.
I saw September,
It was getting first.
New years haven,
I’ll come back for this raven.
It sat on me, sat in me.
Even with silence you still
Talk to me.
What size shirt do you wear?
How is this Conneticut air.
Is it spelled right?
Are you correct?
Are you the one that
I could never suspect.
This fan is blowing.
This heat is rising.
The lack of you is
Never surprising.
Starbucks noon.
At you soon.
I am never the one to
Move the moon.
I see it clearer
Then ever before.
You are the one
That started this spin.
It was a win?
It was the begin.
But, to tell you the truth,
It feels like a spiral.
A downward kind.
A spin down the wrong
Path, where I feel I am
Storing up your wrath.

60 Days: New Years Haven

8.28.
NYC,
Fighting over.
New Years haven,
New was next.
Had you for the best.
I can’t relax,
Cause you got the goods for
Me to see.
I was choosing purity.
I was skipping tragedy.
I was up late for the wrong
Reasons, journal had to die in
Those seasons.
Now I am up high.
I left you feeling dry.
When did school start?
When did you get that false
Start?
When did you start getting all
Wearing some glasses now?
Cause I spent to much time
Studying.
Now I am NYC,
Its fast and moving.
Smells of pain and sorrow.
Feels like Ray had more pizza
To borrow, I got ya now.
Where’s tomorrow?
Don’t tell me now how
Many more times you got to
Head home,
Cause I miss it to.
I miss it with You.
I miss Seattle.
I miss rain and kettle,
Tea and the sea with you.
Feels like it won’t drift.
This spin is just a first draft.

60 Days. Middle of This.

Now I find myself pulled into this ..
HOTEL life,
Clean towels
Living not right.
Do you want health,
Or do you love the hell?
Some..
I don’t have these answers I seek
I am trying to tell you about the 23rd of August.
How 8 has always meant new beginnings
And new winnings.
And those diamond eyes proved true.
I gotta be different.
I gotta stop talking about
Her and him and they and that
And all that ever was past!
Had that flip phone once.
Had it for prevention.
Thought it was there for
Protection.
I was slowing down my life
So you could tell me the steps
It would take to get better.
8 whole ones. 8 in August
and 8 in January. And who ever
Did show up to graduate me?
Cause the real was past the steel
and the metal,
And the kettle kind of rage that
Was cooking in me.
Because life is hotel.
Life feels like its own kind
Of hell. No one praised the
Smoke rising or the snow
Falling. Everyone bears that
Fantasy too.
I am in process.
In progress.
In the middle of something
Big developing..

60 Days: Finding Thursday

Thu. 9-14 late night 9pm. Flight delayed one hour…
Thursday
Saturday..tell me more,
This day was special,
Cause you were the one.
You were the seven billion sum.
The brighter than the sun.
I am trying. God knows I am
Trying to settle back,
And settle this attack.
This brain is out of whack.
And so is the family.
So are the friends.
So will be the end,
When will that begin?
Everyone is fading.
I promised a two month
Episode, but its fading fast.
I can’t keep this up for you.
Clothes are washed, and all
For You, all so you would stop
Second guessing.
Yes, I started sweating around
You, but I started the run.
Found the fun,
Never gonna have it soon.
Feel the power of later
And waiting, cause that’s
Got me falling and failing for
You.
You got a lot of you not seen
On here. You got less for me to
Wonder. You got a beautiful figure.
I’ve lost all it now.
Can we get that gym bag life back
Or those capri pants back,
Or that red dress in the center
Again?
Cause all I have is this fast paced
Place. This airport of diversity,
This hurricane of tragedy,
This spinning electronica.
I can’t wait for more ideas to
Come. Its Thursday. They are
Here. I am still asking when is
Tomorrow cause I am gonna
Feel it soon.
Would you be the one to
Get found too.

60 Days.. 8.22- The Town

8.22: Town
Had this town in the rear view,
Now we know we gotta go.
Drove slow was my criticism,
Is this really cynicism or not?
Cause when we get the sun
We get the Son.
I wanted,
I wandered.
I felt the thunder in the
Dry sky,
Who would want to lie?
The more I travel this state,
The more I cannot erase,
Denver will always be clever.
It will always call me back in.
Remind me of the days when..
I am down below the memories.
I am up above them too.
 I had a long list of regrets,
A longer list of pain to get
To.
But it was found,
In the town.
Am I a lucky one.
Can I see what I got?
Can I settle for better,
Or can I stay this weather?
Stick around,
Find the town.
Seek what you can
Try to live in the found.