Day #31 – Stand It

On August 27, 2018 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, California, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, Eternity, FAMILY, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Summer

Misdirection,

Misinformation,

Missed in the beach and,

Missed in the wind,

Missed in the time spent trying to

Not be it.

What ride it has been,

Where you want to hide and live it again,

And now you are far from home,

And far from now,

If this was love then it is just a beginning,

Can we live this,

And even stand it with a little bit of

Poverty?

Are you missed,

Or are you dismissed?

Cause I am here, and I know it has to be real.

Do you keep,

Do you store?

Do you steal,

Is that a thing?

I was misdirected once,

Searching for the fountain to drink from.

I know you think I don’t watch, or even see,

But this here is about a stand out,

And a can’t stand it when I am gone,

Away,

And wanting more.

I love the travel,

And the move around,

But you are the loving sound I get to now,

I will stand it if I need to.

Loud noises,

Louder now with it.

I won’t stand it if you start

Saying something different.

Trap

On November 2, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, DAILY LIFE, Discussions, Eternity, FAMILY, FILM, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Trapped in the

Tired cause I stayed

Tied cause I left,

Left in a rush with

It, Left you in the

Hush of it.

Got caught up in the

Lust of it,

Wanted a new rust

On this.

Shaved it off by

Time, with the mine,

All my belongings on the

Optimal,

On the

Bottom oval.

I was after the white.

No house.

Politics of the

Modest mouse..

Were we ready,

Or just present?

Were we better,

Or just the only one’s?

Going back is for this.

But life is forward

And so is green.

So is mean and lean.

New Sabotage

Or new garage?

New way of living.

That old house wasn’t giving.

I am not sure what it all means..

But I take pride in getting there.

I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,

And the journey.

But these capital letters

They are faded,

Cause meaning has become

Jaded.

Is church the next topic?

The next baby carrot?

To chase,

To circle,

To black without white

To home without house?

Isn’t it the same party

No matter who you are with?

Or this just all in my head?

Cause it was funny for a little bit,

Then, you were like..I am gonna stay

Here for a little while..

I thought I could get some extra from

You, thought I could go those miles for

You, thought this white had a house,

Had a mouse, had some corners,

Or is this your trap, and

Your fade back?

60 Days:Windy

On October 21, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, Culture, DAILY LIFE, Football, Girls, HighSchool, Hollywood, Hunger and thirst, ihop, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

City to me,

Come forward with me.

Standing for you,

Sitting feels to new.

I texted, I messaged, I said I would

Never live like this again.

Friday in L.A.

That hasn’t been the way.

Hotels for you,

Hotels with you.

Living out of the end of the

New.

I am ready for city.

Ready for windy.

Cause safety,

You remember

Safety? We ditched

That a long time ago.

Caught up in the net.

Feeling the regret.

All the miles on the ten

for you.

All the miles back and forth

With the wishing and the

Wishing.

Sat with the upstate,

Sat with the hesitate.

Can’t see you happy.

Can’t see you new.

Can’t keep playing these videos

Like they were the only creative

I ever knew.

Its beats, baby.

And the windy city

That has me.

I came out here to hide.

I came in here to burn for

You.

Now you want a spin,

Now you want to spiral again.

Take me with you,

Cause at least that’s

Better than the upstate,

60 Days: Aug. 31st

On October 20, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Hooked on the night

Needed you in the right

Fan blowing on me,

Wanted you for the near me.

You had to get all education on me,

You had to get all never seem to text me.

I saw myself,

Putting that risk up on the shelf.

Sitting down at that table,

Asking you if you would be able.

I saw September,

It was getting first.

New years haven,

I’ll come back for this raven.

It sat on me, sat in me.

Even with silence you still

Talk to me.

What size shirt do you wear?

How is this Conneticut air.

Is it spelled right?

Are you correct?

Are you the one that

I could never suspect.

This fan is blowing.

This heat is rising.

The lack of you is

Never surprising.

Starbucks noon.

At you soon.

I am never the one to

Move the moon.

I see it clearer

Then ever before.

You are the one

That started this spin.

It was a win?

It was the begin.

But, to tell you the truth,

It feels like a spiral.

A downward kind.

A spin down the wrong

Path, where I feel I am

Storing up your wrath.

60 Days: New Years Haven

On October 3, 2017December 16, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, BIRTHDAYS, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, DAILY LIFE, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

8.28.

NYC,

Fighting over.

New Years haven,

New was next.

Had you for the best.

I can’t relax,

Cause you got the goods for

Me to see.

I was choosing purity.

I was skipping tragedy.

I was up late for the wrong

Reasons, journal had to die in

Those seasons.

Now I am up high.

I left you feeling dry.

When did school start?

When did you get that false

Start?

When did you start getting all

Wearing some glasses now?

Cause I spent to much time

Studying.

Now I am NYC,

Its fast and moving.

Smells of pain and sorrow.

Feels like Ray had more pizza

To borrow, I got ya now.

Where’s tomorrow?

Don’t tell me now how

Many more times you got to

Head home,

Cause I miss it to.

I miss it with You.

I miss Seattle.

I miss rain and kettle,

Tea and the sea with you.

Feels like it won’t drift.

This spin is just a first draft.

60 Days. Middle of This.

On September 16, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTIONLeave a comment

Now I find myself pulled into this ..

HOTEL life,

Clean towels

Living not right.

Do you want health,

Or do you love the hell?

Some..

I don’t have these answers I seek

I am trying to tell you about the 23rd of August.

How 8 has always meant new beginnings

And new winnings.

And those diamond eyes proved true.

I gotta be different.

I gotta stop talking about

Her and him and they and that

And all that ever was past!

Had that flip phone once.

Had it for prevention.

Thought it was there for

Protection.

I was slowing down my life

So you could tell me the steps

It would take to get better.

8 whole ones. 8 in August

and 8 in January. And who ever

Did show up to graduate me?

Cause the real was past the steel

and the metal,

And the kettle kind of rage that

Was cooking in me.

Because life is hotel.

Life feels like its own kind

Of hell. No one praised the

Smoke rising or the snow

Falling. Everyone bears that

Fantasy too.

I am in process.

In progress.

In the middle of something

Big developing..

60 Days: Finding Thursday

On September 15, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, DAILY LIFE, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Thu. 9-14 late night 9pm. Flight delayed one hour…

Thursday

Saturday..tell me more,

This day was special,

Cause you were the one.

You were the seven billion sum.

The brighter than the sun.

I am trying. God knows I am

Trying to settle back,

And settle this attack.

This brain is out of whack.

And so is the family.

So are the friends.

So will be the end,

When will that begin?

Everyone is fading.

I promised a two month

Episode, but its fading fast.

I can’t keep this up for you.

Clothes are washed, and all

For You, all so you would stop

Second guessing.

Yes, I started sweating around

You, but I started the run.

Found the fun,

Never gonna have it soon.

Feel the power of later

And waiting, cause that’s

Got me falling and failing for

You.

You got a lot of you not seen

On here. You got less for me to

Wonder. You got a beautiful figure.

I’ve lost all it now.

Can we get that gym bag life back

Or those capri pants back,

Or that red dress in the center

Again?

Cause all I have is this fast paced

Place. This airport of diversity,

This hurricane of tragedy,

This spinning electronica.

I can’t wait for more ideas to

Come. Its Thursday. They are

Here. I am still asking when is

Tomorrow cause I am gonna

Feel it soon.

Would you be the one to

Get found too.

60 Days.. 8.22- The Town

On September 14, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, Community, Culture, CULTUREPOP, DAILY LIFE, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

8.22: Town

Had this town in the rear view,

Now we know we gotta go.

Drove slow was my criticism,

Is this really cynicism or not?

Cause when we get the sun

We get the Son.

I wanted,

I wandered.

I felt the thunder in the

Dry sky,

Who would want to lie?

The more I travel this state,

The more I cannot erase,

Denver will always be clever.

It will always call me back in.

Remind me of the days when..

I am down below the memories.

I am up above them too.

I had a long list of regrets,

A longer list of pain to get

To.

But it was found,

In the town.

Am I a lucky one.

Can I see what I got?

Can I settle for better,

Or can I stay this weather?

Stick around,

Find the town.

Seek what you can

Try to live in the found.

60 Days: Saturday

On September 1, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCHLeave a comment

I was doing the right thing,

At the wrong time.

I was telling you hun,

That I was ready for done.

I woke up with a messy room.

The one that stays left,

And is never right,

Blaming the night,

Taking the next flight.

I was ready to touch down.

I was ready for another town,

Another check in,

Another check out,

Another stay here and

Let you call me later.

This started with a spin,

A violent turn,

A twisted yearn for

Change.

But now I am in it,

I am awake with you

Telling you the truth.

I ate the proof.

I burned those receipts.

I tore it all down,

I stayed in the deceit.

Messy room to wake

Me, but a new

Mind to greet me.

Control time and find

The Rhyme,

But there is no way now

To turn around.

I am not going back.

I am Pasadena today.

I am back in L.A.

I am headed another way.

And that way is unknown.

In The Timing( 60 Days of Poetry)

On August 22, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, Culture, CULTUREPOP, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, Eternity, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

In the Timing

Sunset was getting close,

You were waiting for this call,

I was waiting for the fall,

I can’t keep these secrets

So secret anymore.

You gave me this work,

You paid for the flights,

You gave me the lights,

They got some vibrant

On me,

They keep asking for me

To capture it,

Can we float like this?

Can we keep this high?

Cause I am not coming down.

I was looking back,

I was telling you about it all,

I am sick of carrying this burden

I am sick of lying to all my friends.

So I am saying so for the last time,

I am getting furry over the sorry,

These lies are killing all of us!

I am screwed all of this up,

Taken all these miles You have

Provided,

I should have said no to them,

All way to long ago,

You are my friend, this place

Has all my friends,

This is where it begins,

This is where the purity will

start,

The past is past us,

El Paso is home for now,

But that to will come to an end.

THE RUCKUS JOURNAL

Category: Able Source Adventures