Day #40 – Fast( days_)

July 28th

Making dents,

Like I said,

Went around in circles,

Traveled Oakland,

Saw the half moon bay,

Thought of the man that ran that way,

Hospital lock down, day 1, on the run,

Again..

Loved it then.

Sped fast those days,

5 years have passed.

I am fast,

Set,

Steady on the message,

You know its new to me,

One time price,

One time for me now,

Can I get here..

Can I get here somehow.

Locked, on days spent wasting myself

On pleasure.

Water Bottle, you heard?

You saw, you needed.

I gave them too,

You looked skinny,

Was that from the fast?

Or are you just always in need?

Day #38 – Trenches

July 27, 2018

Sunrise,

Blood moons,

Lunar Eclipses,

Days turned to night with you,

Embarrassed a little with you,

Or maybe because of you,

Stretching Thursdays into Fridays,

Watching night fall,

Bitter ending trails to form from

This new kind of norm,

Escaping from the ache,

Moving towards the mistake,

Taking it in the gut,

Sick, in the rut,

For the secrets keep you stuck.

Passing nights with you,

Falling in circles,

Spinning a little bit too,

Asking for fixing,

Looking for wrenches,

Lost in the trenches.

 

 

Day #37 – Mission(s)

Sent on a mission,

Entering the submission,

Day’s past were wrapped in the past.

Locked in and loved it for the sake of no one,

But got you in here,

Lost and insecure,

Really, resting, unsure.

Really, had you going for a minute!

Took you down the roads, and into the

Dark!

Pathways for the past were in this heart.

It wasn’t the first time, or the last time that you

Would be udone..

But it should be the last of these last missions

You call home, and away!

And everything felt a little better hidden away..

In the dark,

In the shadows.

Am I not the kind that could love the light!

Am I not the kind that would fade with the night!

Am I on a mission,

Or is it You that I am here for?

Day #36- Still Here

July 26th

 

‘Summer is over’ can feel that song playing in my mind,

I started you,

I started you on time.

I know I see Oakland.

I see Golden Gates in fog mornings,

I see downtown spaces and places

Where you once found me too..

I know I had a river view,

A coast to stare at,

A world to care at..

This body can’t take it,

But it does.

I had fragile love to take,

And fragile innocence to replace.

I had a mission to try this ambition,

I was running like you were too.

Summer can’t be over,

Cause I am still not over, too.

Still is a still here,

Still standing wasn’t the

Reprimanding.

I chased you you follow, too.

I ran and I ran straight from You,

So land me back where I live,

And where I can’t survive.

Follow me a fountain,

A place to wander,

And a time to still wonder:

Will you satisfy?

Or will this summer come to a close

To fast?

Day #35- Pressure and Burden

Lift me up or tear me down,
Follow that is shallow,
A swallow, that the death
That was running here,
Running around.
Tears were shed,
Before you were dead.
You faded before you lived.
Lost in that lake view,
Carried a circle with night fights in it,
Watched you walk,
Watched it run,
Watched that hockey night in
One final fight!
That’s all I have known.
That’s all we had done.
Now it is done,
And finished,
And the beginning of future
That happened with the rearview.
I am lost in what is not?
Good enough?
Better for you?
Good enough to marry you.
Hope it wouldn’t be true,
I like it better in the center,
In the run around,
With drinks out of town,
With lies all around.
Fade, please, fade like
Death, cause that is better
Than the pressure,
And the burden.

Today I am starting

Today, Labor Day, September 3rd..I am starting something new.

I am diving deep into something that has been stirring for a real long time.

I was reflecting on the journey with my mom yesterday at the beach. Family has become the number one reason for my own strength and success. Doing things better for them and for a future family of my own. If today can be about more than just Pumpkin Spiced Lattes( although top 5 most important things this is number 5) let it be about gratitude for people in your life. Stay tuned..

labor day

Day #26 -Flat Out

July 23rd

Past tense,

Recompense,

Addition for the subtraction,

An uneven ride it has been,

A unfathomable total is will come to,

All the days, and time spent wondering about you,

Or asking for a redo?

No one is nobody and neither am I!

If this is math then where do you get these kind

Of numbers?

This started with a thought: where do I get life from?

I thirst,

I hunger,

I desire,

Yet I add all of the time I have spent trying to

Follow You, and it doesn’t come through.

I wondered slowly,

And walked daily,

Do I find a fountain to drink from?

Do I find someplace to rest?

Cause I am just like all of you,

Desperate for vision and hope and

Most of all, for Peace.

I thirst,

I hunger,

I ask for the desire..

To change,

To be better,

To hopeless,

To despair,

To all the numbers you pull from the air.

This can’t be fair, can it?

You are flat out true.

You are flat out righteous!

And I still thirst for Justice,

But I still, still am one of those

Men that does not like it!