Making a comeback. A lot on my mind. A lot going on in life.
To feel again,
To find you again,
I knew just hallways,
And corner spaces,
And scared places,
If these halls had hills
They would be alive to..
If I live open then you can see me,
You can see all of me,
And there is no going back,
Going back to living in the the black,
Rich and slightly famous,
How many people asked about me
When I was gone?
How many texts and tweets did I get,
Even more so when I was steady
Only in poverty did you come
Running after me,
To feel again,
To steal again,
The moments made by sunsets,
Now I can stay up and see them,
Now I can stay up and receive them.
If these halls had hills,
They would be alive to,
They would be high too,
They would be all about you.
Stop this cycle
and this roundabout,
Show me what mercy is about,
Cause that is all I need from You
Body of yours,
This life of poise,
This world of noise.
This place I cover,
This place I hover,
Anger you stored up,
Wrath for the hungry,
Treasures for the lonely,
Are you telling me to stop,
Or are you telling me to stay?
Body of yours,
White and pale,
Snow and hail,
Rain and reign,
Are you still king?
Are you still the rearrange?
Cause we never had furniture,
Cause we worried about future,
Cause we needed new furniture,
Cause we can’t change future.
Seated on us,
Seated within us,
This life is poise,
This world of noise,
I am crying out and loud,
Time is going by,
Time is flying by,
Are you still as loud as you used to be?
Is noise what we need,
Or are you louder than you should be,
Is noise what you reign on in the rain,
Is this the last time I talk about things
I don’t do.
Body of land,
Don’t let this body fall apart.
Crave adventure, don’t you?
Moved away, didn’t you?
Palo Alto, is that so?
Left in the snow, is that truth?
Are you cold, are you solo,
Are you a no go?
Is what I needed to say,
Are you the one that got away,
Are you the saga we were starting,
And the steady sound of beginning.
Am I hidden, hidden in Christ, with words
You call thrice,
And three days it took for You to raise up!
I thought so..
Left for Palo Alto,
Now I really know.
You were the one on the long list,
The long list of those I met in the West.
It was here, it was wind, it was like you
Were blown away from the end.
Yes, I thought so, how did you know?
This had to be wild or not true,
Because now you got a mountain view,
And lions to catch and chase, and sun that you won’t miss…
I blow you a kiss,
And keep it on that beach,
Where you were in some reach,
And far from the breach.
It was wild, it was the west that you won,
And north is fun and further from the truth.
You need this saga as proof.
Are in the middle of a longer story,
Or are you the one that ends with it here?
There is trembling, there is fear, this is something
Waiting for next time…
Why is your world so full of empty connections? Or, none whatsoever. If I lead off this thought assuming no one is connecting with you most would read and agree, then possibly stop reading because what’s so new about that thought? Is this a day before Valentine’s Day post? No, it isn’t.
Full and wholesome talk that starts with and ends with being human. The longer life continues the less and less you care about what you call ‘ petty’ things, and the more you crave real relationship and connection with people. I have had this obsession at the beginning of each year to finish all the books that I started reading the year before. I have had this goal at the start of the year for the past 10 years( at least), and now I have a long list of books that have gone unfinished. I have a pile of unread books, and a larger pile of guilt that sounds like regret for not finishing things I start.
However, when I get down and think about it I discover something I have known for a while..what is more important..the goal itself or the actual information you take with you into the next thing.
I connect with books. I connect with a level of knowledge but it fades away. I don’t repeat lessons learned when I read Wild At Heart in 2004. I find myself trying to remember current books and information.
Is this about books, or about something else? Life is full of unread books and unfinished goals. It is also full of shallow relationships of disconnect. Yet, year after year it piles up. Who knows you( is that a long list), and who doesn’t( a pile of unfinished books).
It can’t all be about everyone knowing you just like it can’t all be about finishing every book you pick up, but finishing something and sticking with it can be the most helpful way to stay healthy.
This is not a sad post on what Valentine’s Day should be about. Really, that is for tomorrow if I decide to write something on love, or the lack thereof. This life is meant for a connection. Raw and real and time to heal, but don’t let it pile up. Don’t let your disconnect pile up. Books can be thrown away and burned and bought again. Books are movies made now like Farenheit 411( and you still get the message) knowledge is power and so is freedom. People are not a pile to hide in the corner, people are asking for some real love, and a real connection.
Flow with me here..is this the start of a lot of thoughts?