Holiday On

Wanted you to keep the stare on,

To climb the stairs on.

To show me how to be,

How to move forward without Ya.

If you think this is about you,

It probably is.

A little more broken since you left.

A little more on the better since you

Left.

I had some time to think,

In the freeze of the frames you called

Fame you stopped going after.

I had some time to stare,

To learn how to care.

I was always fixed on you,

On the beauty of you.

I see you clearer now.

Its not better since you’re around.

I got a stare to take up with Ya.

I got a holiday to spend away from Ya.

I tried turning you off, tuning you out.

I tried, I tried.

You just kept knocking the same.

Coming to me without any change.

I am editing that remix,

I am trying to stream this life like

The Phoenix,

A little entertainment for Ya.

A little burning sun I lost with Ya.

I had some holiday,

I had some petition.

I think you hated my condition.

I need some tradition.

Need you now to stop that forsaken kind

Of walk, that move on kind of talk.

I needed a holiday off,

But those lights don’t work,

Those nights don’t serve.

Its my last nerve to say I need

You. It won’t be the last time I’ve

Surrendered to You,

You are the one and only on,

The leave on,

The hold you had on,

The holiday, now,

Is still on.

 

The Leave On

*This is a series..here’s part 3..
Still the strangest of things,
Had to take a break from it.
Living like the upside was never
Down,
Living like you were the one leaving
This town,
Like I packed away that leave on,
You know you got to get on,
Get on your way now.
I was looking for the satisfy,
For the reason why,
For the deeper conversations
We could have had.
I got good,
When it was bad.
I got bad when it could
Have been good,
Showing up later on Ya,
Showing up all showered up.
This is that kind of thing I don’t
Want to write about,
I needed you now
I needed the shout.
I needed this to be all
About that.
I needed you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.
Don’t unplug, you see,
Don’t unplug like that TV.
Don’t start going down,
Like the basement is there.
Like it won’t get far from near.
Get good on me,
Get bad no more,
Can’t break that,
Can’t cap that salary.
Get the leave on,
Or stay stuck here with me.

The TV on

Day like now,
Wish I was stronger
TV growing stranger.
Lasting for the longer,
This show has its strangest
Of things,
But you were still the last of
The rest to come.
Wish you had more to give,
Wish you had less to throw away
Cause that’s all gotten in the way.
Wish you called a little more
Or am I the one saying sorry to
Much.
I know you assumed I had the zoom in on
Ya,
I had this camera set to do whatever it takes
To get that shot,
That center fold picture of Ya.
I know it seems like your body is
All that matters,
Cause it is.
It is the drawing on the table,
And the lack of my stable that
Got you to go and get new on us.
I know you aren’t stronger
Than anyone else,
Just weaker than you want
To be.
TV still the strangest of
Things,
And you’re still the rearrange
In this relationship thing.
TV still on,
Cause that’s all that matters.

Trap

Trapped in the
Tired cause I stayed
Tied cause I left,
Left in a rush with
It, Left you in the
Hush of it.
Got caught up in the
Lust of it,
Wanted a new rust
On this.
Shaved it off by
Time, with the mine,
All my belongings on the
Optimal,
On the
Bottom oval.
I was after the white.
No house.
Politics of the
Modest mouse..
Were we ready,
Or just present?
Were we better,
Or just the only one’s?
Going back is for this.
But life is forward
And so is green.
So is mean and lean.
New Sabotage
Or new garage?
New way of living.
That old house wasn’t giving.
I am not sure what it all means..
But I take pride in getting there.
I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,
And the journey.
But these capital letters
They are faded,
Cause meaning has become
Jaded.
Is church the next topic?
The next baby carrot?
To chase,
To circle,
To black without white
To home without house?
Isn’t it the same party
No matter who you are with?
Or this just all in my head?
Cause it was funny for a little bit,
Then, you were like..I am gonna stay
Here for a little while..
I thought I could get some extra from
You, thought I could go those miles for
You, thought this white had a house,
Had a mouse, had some corners,
Or is this your trap, and
Your fade back?

Monday

Real time thoughts. If you have been following or just started. I have been behind on my own creative dreams. 60 Days of poetry was( and is) in real time too. This is now( which is past the 60 days) This is today, and today is all we have.

I got the news,

The news of today.

I got to many hangups with

Yesterday.

I chose and did,

Wrong and long.

How did you hike it,

Did you alone?

Its hard to embrace the present, but that is the only way to move forward.

Embracing where you are.

Now that the day is ended,

And I have surrendered.

What will I lay down?

What will I paint this town?

Red, for victory?

Cause blood is all that matters.

Green, for inexperience,

Or for go, or for fast,

Or do I have what will last?

I ran fast. I did sweat.

I am listless now

 Over making lists.

Try 6:33,

Try it on.

A yoke that is easy,

What kind of scandal is that?

A life that costs nothing doesn’t

Seem worthy of living.

But now meaning comes from

The lack.

Cause I am not getting this time

Back.

Supergirl, Season 3

What kind of fight can there

Be?

The Flash is faster,

But so thin is this

Alabaster.

Am I really giving it my all?

Or am I caught up in the fall?

I mean, October 2007,

That was no open heaven.

Those doors were shut,

That mask was in the rut.

I put it off and put it on,

But I could not escape

That eschaton.

Those wrath filled prayers,

And those God awful blue chairs.

I was there, and you weren’t,

So you can’t write about it like

It is easy to understand.

I am the one living with me,

And sometimes I don’t like

What I see.

I mean, not with looks, or

Even with weight, or even

With the gold on the plate.

No, money hasn’t found me,

Neither has fame,

But when I drive I still

See L.A.

I mean, I see it.

So, this is Monday

But so is everyday.

A new beginning for

The winning.

Cause I got a chance to take,

And that is no mistake.

I got today, and that’s

All I can say.

60 Days:Windy

City to me,
Come forward with me.
Standing for you,
Sitting feels to new.
I texted, I messaged, I said I would
Never live like this again.
Friday in L.A.
That hasn’t been the way.
Hotels for you,
Hotels with you.
Living out of the end of the
New.
I am ready for city.
Ready for windy.
Cause safety,
You remember
Safety? We ditched
That a long time ago.
Caught up in the net.
Feeling the regret.
All the miles on the ten
for you.
All the miles back and forth
With the wishing and the
Wishing.
Sat with the upstate,
Sat with the hesitate.
Can’t see you happy.
Can’t see you new.
Can’t keep playing these videos
Like they were the only creative
I ever knew.
Its beats, baby.
And the windy city
That has me.
I came out here to hide.
I came in here to burn for
You.
Now you want a spin,
Now you want to spiral again.
Take me with you,
Cause at least that’s
Better than the upstate,

60 Days: Aug. 31st

Hooked on the night
Needed you in the right
Fan blowing on me,
Wanted you for the near me.
You had to get all education on me,
You had to get all never seem to text me.
I saw myself,
Putting that risk up on the shelf.
Sitting down at that table,
Asking you if you would be able.
I saw September,
It was getting first.
New years haven,
I’ll come back for this raven.
It sat on me, sat in me.
Even with silence you still
Talk to me.
What size shirt do you wear?
How is this Conneticut air.
Is it spelled right?
Are you correct?
Are you the one that
I could never suspect.
This fan is blowing.
This heat is rising.
The lack of you is
Never surprising.
Starbucks noon.
At you soon.
I am never the one to
Move the moon.
I see it clearer
Then ever before.
You are the one
That started this spin.
It was a win?
It was the begin.
But, to tell you the truth,
It feels like a spiral.
A downward kind.
A spin down the wrong
Path, where I feel I am
Storing up your wrath.