We write our New Year’s resolutions but we had them all along. Each year is progress…
This isn’t a new year without Your
I am not certain I have built something
You would like.
I am not certain these thoughts have been
All about You.
I am certain that the years past have not
Been all about You.
If I was to lock it in
Like one would do at a wedding,
I would have to say I can’t, not today, not now.
All this commitment floating around me,
All this free wedding photography.
Yes, I too, have captured your moments for you.
I, too, said I would and I said I would do it for free.
I am not certain I would do that again,
Film and shoot and shout it out,
Tell your story, and do it for free?
I am not certain I am ready for free,
Or even ready to charge you a fee.
I am only certain I want to something
Something of a wed, on a Wednesday,
These are uncertain thoughts.
Got on a plane,
Made it plain,
Nick of time,
Out of the dime,
Asked for coffee,
For the 5th time,
Boarded that flight,
Stayed short on the night,
Ran low on darkness,
Felt the harness,
This was large,
Larger than I imagined.
Ran in circles only for you
I am here,
Cracks in the cement,
Cracks in the concrete.
Preparing for it,
Destroying for it, too.
Was never half new,
Was never half knew.
I had to walk with the solid,
I had to walk with the college.
I had to feel your knowledge,
And your hands all over mine.
I made some time for reflection,
I made some time for direction,
Tried to seek it out.
I had a dry spout,
I had a place where you were
Unable to find me,
I had cracks,
I had places that I needed you
And to find,
I wondered the fountain,
Would it fill me and find me
No. That was the last time.
The last time was April.
Why are you finishing things,
Or why not?
Is this is the start of motivation?
Or is new the newest revelation?
Old things like Scripture,
Like the Ancient of Days?
Like words that have no action,
Or actions that have no finishing.
I am not ready to make the explanation,
I am just living in the revelation.
I’m here to worship.
Depraved and soulless,
Or lowest of all..just not in
Are you the starting one?
But You are the finisher?
You made the time,
And this time will be spent
On starting things,
And rearranging them too.
I am starting something..stirring too..celebrating 11 years solid and true..
Been tossed around and more often than not beaten down too..
By mind, by world, by me, by You, by her, by them,
By all the things that have been started.
This is not finished. It can’t be.
All of this..
Heart, sound, spoken,
Not loud, faded in the voices..
Of all the things I used to say to
Get your attention..
….our hearts are wide open
The world is wide open………………….
Was that only true when you were a kid,
When shame is the place you hid..
When lost is not the fountain to drink from..
Yet it was wondering..
All the best summer dry spaces I could try
To see all the space(s) called dry and weak,
Spent it on money can you say why?
Is this a Isaiah 55 talk..
Or a time not lost in the walk..
I am dark all aroud..
All I hear is Your sound..