Starting things to finish

Corner Bakery.

No. That was the last time.

The last time was April.

Why are you finishing things,

Or why not?

Is this is the start of motivation?

Or is new the newest revelation?

Old things like Scripture,

Like worship,

Like the Ancient of Days?

Like words that have no action,

Or actions that have no finishing.

I am not ready to make the explanation,

I am just living in the revelation.

I’m here to worship.

Depraved and soulless,

Or lowest of all..just not in

Your presence.

Are you the starting one?

But You are the finisher?

The author..

You made the time,

And this time will be spent

On starting things,

And rearranging them too.

I am starting something..stirring too..celebrating 11 years solid and true..

Been tossed around and more often than not beaten down too..

By mind, by world, by me, by You, by her, by them,

By all the things that have been started.

This is not finished. It can’t be.

 

Day #45 – Lost..

All of this..

Closed,

Not ever..open..

Heart, sound, spoken,

Not loud, faded in the voices..

Of all the things I used to say to

Get your attention..

….our hearts are wide open
The world is wide open………………….

Was that only true when you were a kid,

When shame is the place you hid..

When lost is not the fountain to drink from..

Yet it was wondering..

All the best summer dry spaces I could try

To see all the space(s) called dry and weak,

And thirsty..

Spent it on money can you say why?

Is this a Isaiah 55 talk..

Or a time not lost in the walk..

I am dark all aroud..

All I hear is Your sound..

 

 

Day #24 -Sundays

July 22nd

If you have been following long,

I have been diving in,

Living headstrong.

Empty like pockets not full,

Is your hearts dull,

Is today’s lull.

Aren’t you the one to say something will change,

Or the last of those to say it won’t be the same.

I know what you want, and it is deep down.

I walked in this mess

And it was because of you.

Sun beaming on this glorious evening.

I had to fade,

And fade hard because of you.

When you are gone I never know

What to do.

When you slip away,

Am I covered for all the slips.

Am I a Psalm 73?

Would you give me some victory?

This Day

Musing from President’s Day..

Give me this mistake,
You are the mystery,
Hidden, from me.
Tell me the great lakes,
Tell me when they are greater,
Tell me when they say Savior,
Cause reckless is soon,
Soon to be near,
If I was a mountain I would
Snowboard to,
Down and out,
For the gold in red,
For the panthers of junior
High, to the raw on the screen,
To the ripped shape of your
Face.
I am the hero, soon,
I need to leave this place.
Tell me the stories you told
Once, when love was the punch.
I am a fighter, fighting for you.
Peace is the hardest to keep,
The worst to regret,
Cause I am crazy when I am
Not safe,
And safety, well you call
It something else.
Name me a name I won’t forget,
That day is coming to,
When this forehead has no more
Sweat, no more regret,
No more reasons to not
List,
What’s this name,
Is it the president,
Is this his day?
Cause nothing compares to You,
The leader of All,
The source of All,
The one that has crazy plans
For me.

Holiday On

Wanted you to keep the stare on,

To climb the stairs on.

To show me how to be,

How to move forward without Ya.

If you think this is about you,

It probably is.

A little more broken since you left.

A little more on the better since you

Left.

I had some time to think,

In the freeze of the frames you called

Fame you stopped going after.

I had some time to stare,

To learn how to care.

I was always fixed on you,

On the beauty of you.

I see you clearer now.

Its not better since you’re around.

I got a stare to take up with Ya.

I got a holiday to spend away from Ya.

I tried turning you off, tuning you out.

I tried, I tried.

You just kept knocking the same.

Coming to me without any change.

I am editing that remix,

I am trying to stream this life like

The Phoenix,

A little entertainment for Ya.

A little burning sun I lost with Ya.

I had some holiday,

I had some petition.

I think you hated my condition.

I need some tradition.

Need you now to stop that forsaken kind

Of walk, that move on kind of talk.

I needed a holiday off,

But those lights don’t work,

Those nights don’t serve.

Its my last nerve to say I need

You. It won’t be the last time I’ve

Surrendered to You,

You are the one and only on,

The leave on,

The hold you had on,

The holiday, now,

Is still on.

 

The TV on

Day like now,
Wish I was stronger
TV growing stranger.
Lasting for the longer,
This show has its strangest
Of things,
But you were still the last of
The rest to come.
Wish you had more to give,
Wish you had less to throw away
Cause that’s all gotten in the way.
Wish you called a little more
Or am I the one saying sorry to
Much.
I know you assumed I had the zoom in on
Ya,
I had this camera set to do whatever it takes
To get that shot,
That center fold picture of Ya.
I know it seems like your body is
All that matters,
Cause it is.
It is the drawing on the table,
And the lack of my stable that
Got you to go and get new on us.
I know you aren’t stronger
Than anyone else,
Just weaker than you want
To be.
TV still the strangest of
Things,
And you’re still the rearrange
In this relationship thing.
TV still on,
Cause that’s all that matters.

For 2

Thought I’d be the one to share this with you,

This night has never been blue,

It’s always been dark and black,

And it feels like I’m on the attack,

If this is nothing but the truth then that’s good enough,

Cuz at least it’s better than hiding,

And we all know how good you are at that,

If there’s something to say and to speak,

I hope it comes out of a place of need.

It took two to get here,

Two stories to tell,

Two crimes to commit.

Yeah in the end I feel it’s just one,

One More Night,

One more crime,

One last time,

Is never the end of this ride.

Everyone has got to have a reason,

To make that movie again,

To get to filming,

To get to remembering..

I can’t lock this away anymore,

And pretend like you don’t hear me at

The door,

I think I have to stay,

But it’s because I want to.

I think you have two more friends,

And two more places you can still go,

I think you have 2 sins you hate,

And two directions you can go,

I know this night had to be fast,

Trying to find you,

Trying to stay a little bit longer,

But the two hardest things in life,

Is everything that has to do with making

Things right.

So leave this place,

But don’t try to pretend and stay,

And if you try to run away,

I hope you have two more reasons,

Why that place was never good enough,

And,  while you’re on the run..

There’s two more times,

For two more crimes,

They are fear and regret,

And I think more than twice

They will try to come back again,

But this is where I need you,

To be the better friend.