Holiday On

Wanted you to keep the stare on,

To climb the stairs on.

To show me how to be,

How to move forward without Ya.

If you think this is about you,

It probably is.

A little more broken since you left.

A little more on the better since you

Left.

I had some time to think,

In the freeze of the frames you called

Fame you stopped going after.

I had some time to stare,

To learn how to care.

I was always fixed on you,

On the beauty of you.

I see you clearer now.

Its not better since you’re around.

I got a stare to take up with Ya.

I got a holiday to spend away from Ya.

I tried turning you off, tuning you out.

I tried, I tried.

You just kept knocking the same.

Coming to me without any change.

I am editing that remix,

I am trying to stream this life like

The Phoenix,

A little entertainment for Ya.

A little burning sun I lost with Ya.

I had some holiday,

I had some petition.

I think you hated my condition.

I need some tradition.

Need you now to stop that forsaken kind

Of walk, that move on kind of talk.

I needed a holiday off,

But those lights don’t work,

Those nights don’t serve.

Its my last nerve to say I need

You. It won’t be the last time I’ve

Surrendered to You,

You are the one and only on,

The leave on,

The hold you had on,

The holiday, now,

Is still on.

 

The TV on

Day like now,
Wish I was stronger
TV growing stranger.
Lasting for the longer,
This show has its strangest
Of things,
But you were still the last of
The rest to come.
Wish you had more to give,
Wish you had less to throw away
Cause that’s all gotten in the way.
Wish you called a little more
Or am I the one saying sorry to
Much.
I know you assumed I had the zoom in on
Ya,
I had this camera set to do whatever it takes
To get that shot,
That center fold picture of Ya.
I know it seems like your body is
All that matters,
Cause it is.
It is the drawing on the table,
And the lack of my stable that
Got you to go and get new on us.
I know you aren’t stronger
Than anyone else,
Just weaker than you want
To be.
TV still the strangest of
Things,
And you’re still the rearrange
In this relationship thing.
TV still on,
Cause that’s all that matters.

For 2

Thought I’d be the one to share this with you,

This night has never been blue,

It’s always been dark and black,

And it feels like I’m on the attack,

If this is nothing but the truth then that’s good enough,

Cuz at least it’s better than hiding,

And we all know how good you are at that,

If there’s something to say and to speak,

I hope it comes out of a place of need.

It took two to get here,

Two stories to tell,

Two crimes to commit.

Yeah in the end I feel it’s just one,

One More Night,

One more crime,

One last time,

Is never the end of this ride.

Everyone has got to have a reason,

To make that movie again,

To get to filming,

To get to remembering..

I can’t lock this away anymore,

And pretend like you don’t hear me at

The door,

I think I have to stay,

But it’s because I want to.

I think you have two more friends,

And two more places you can still go,

I think you have 2 sins you hate,

And two directions you can go,

I know this night had to be fast,

Trying to find you,

Trying to stay a little bit longer,

But the two hardest things in life,

Is everything that has to do with making

Things right.

So leave this place,

But don’t try to pretend and stay,

And if you try to run away,

I hope you have two more reasons,

Why that place was never good enough,

And,  while you’re on the run..

There’s two more times,

For two more crimes,

They are fear and regret,

And I think more than twice

They will try to come back again,

But this is where I need you,

To be the better friend.

The Hold On

You had the hold on,

The hold on me,

The hold on you.

Why are you named the way you

Are?

Perfect in imperfections.

But holding onto the

Traditions.

Faithful in the outcomes

But You made them anyway?

I was looking for a better reason

To balance this out.

To follow you on the porch lit

Scenery.

To hallow you in the

Misery, cause isn’t that a Holy

Place too?

I was always in the always,

Moving on and moving with the

Eschaton.

Isn’t it missed? Isn’t it a little

Dismissed?

I had some ages to live for,

But is this the one that I am

Here for?

I am closer now to the hold.

Waiting for the pickup,

For the Christmas wrap up.

For the biggest gift is unseen.

Is unclear in the here.

Is sure in the hear.

I am missing it.

Missing you in it.

Missing the parts that

Won’t be ages ago, or

Ages to come.

I need ya now.

I need the hold on.

Fast

Birthday was 11-13. Reflections.

Life is moving fast,
I stopped flying on your pass.
I got tired of risking it.
I got tired of missing it.
Life has all been on the mobile,
Moving slower than quickly,
Moving faster than that decade
We called influence.
I read that always wasn’t necessary,
That I was low on my library.
Cause all I had was knowledge,
All I knew was knowing.
Life has kept up this pace.
Fast has been the secret place.
Been running low on space,
Got to many pictures
To hold onto.
Got to many memories
Of You.
Fast and loving at the same
Time,
Hard and true with a little bit
Of kind.
I was a little high on the addiction.
I was a little confused by the tension.
How could You really be in control,
How could You really let me live
This slow?
It has only been mobile,
Life in the solo.
It has all been a fast paced
Memory.
It was always about those
Memories You used to keep.
All about those histories
We would someday read.
I was never to great at sitting still.
It was much better to find the thrill.
I needed Your grace, it could never
Be affordable.
I needed Your love, it has to be
Portable.
I need Your truth, it has to cost
Something.
I needed some proof, it can’t
Be everything.

Trap

Trapped in the
Tired cause I stayed
Tied cause I left,
Left in a rush with
It, Left you in the
Hush of it.
Got caught up in the
Lust of it,
Wanted a new rust
On this.
Shaved it off by
Time, with the mine,
All my belongings on the
Optimal,
On the
Bottom oval.
I was after the white.
No house.
Politics of the
Modest mouse..
Were we ready,
Or just present?
Were we better,
Or just the only one’s?
Going back is for this.
But life is forward
And so is green.
So is mean and lean.
New Sabotage
Or new garage?
New way of living.
That old house wasn’t giving.
I am not sure what it all means..
But I take pride in getting there.
I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,
And the journey.
But these capital letters
They are faded,
Cause meaning has become
Jaded.
Is church the next topic?
The next baby carrot?
To chase,
To circle,
To black without white
To home without house?
Isn’t it the same party
No matter who you are with?
Or this just all in my head?
Cause it was funny for a little bit,
Then, you were like..I am gonna stay
Here for a little while..
I thought I could get some extra from
You, thought I could go those miles for
You, thought this white had a house,
Had a mouse, had some corners,
Or is this your trap, and
Your fade back?

Monday

Real time thoughts. If you have been following or just started. I have been behind on my own creative dreams. 60 Days of poetry was( and is) in real time too. This is now( which is past the 60 days) This is today, and today is all we have.

I got the news,

The news of today.

I got to many hangups with

Yesterday.

I chose and did,

Wrong and long.

How did you hike it,

Did you alone?

Its hard to embrace the present, but that is the only way to move forward.

Embracing where you are.

Now that the day is ended,

And I have surrendered.

What will I lay down?

What will I paint this town?

Red, for victory?

Cause blood is all that matters.

Green, for inexperience,

Or for go, or for fast,

Or do I have what will last?

I ran fast. I did sweat.

I am listless now

 Over making lists.

Try 6:33,

Try it on.

A yoke that is easy,

What kind of scandal is that?

A life that costs nothing doesn’t

Seem worthy of living.

But now meaning comes from

The lack.

Cause I am not getting this time

Back.

Supergirl, Season 3

What kind of fight can there

Be?

The Flash is faster,

But so thin is this

Alabaster.

Am I really giving it my all?

Or am I caught up in the fall?

I mean, October 2007,

That was no open heaven.

Those doors were shut,

That mask was in the rut.

I put it off and put it on,

But I could not escape

That eschaton.

Those wrath filled prayers,

And those God awful blue chairs.

I was there, and you weren’t,

So you can’t write about it like

It is easy to understand.

I am the one living with me,

And sometimes I don’t like

What I see.

I mean, not with looks, or

Even with weight, or even

With the gold on the plate.

No, money hasn’t found me,

Neither has fame,

But when I drive I still

See L.A.

I mean, I see it.

So, this is Monday

But so is everyday.

A new beginning for

The winning.

Cause I got a chance to take,

And that is no mistake.

I got today, and that’s

All I can say.