The Leave On

*This is a series..here’s part 3..
Still the strangest of things,
Had to take a break from it.
Living like the upside was never
Down,
Living like you were the one leaving
This town,
Like I packed away that leave on,
You know you got to get on,
Get on your way now.
I was looking for the satisfy,
For the reason why,
For the deeper conversations
We could have had.
I got good,
When it was bad.
I got bad when it could
Have been good,
Showing up later on Ya,
Showing up all showered up.
This is that kind of thing I don’t
Want to write about,
I needed you now
I needed the shout.
I needed this to be all
About that.
I needed you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.
Don’t unplug, you see,
Don’t unplug like that TV.
Don’t start going down,
Like the basement is there.
Like it won’t get far from near.
Get good on me,
Get bad no more,
Can’t break that,
Can’t cap that salary.
Get the leave on,
Or stay stuck here with me.

For 2

Thought I’d be the one to share this with you,

This night has never been blue,

It’s always been dark and black,

And it feels like I’m on the attack,

If this is nothing but the truth then that’s good enough,

Cuz at least it’s better than hiding,

And we all know how good you are at that,

If there’s something to say and to speak,

I hope it comes out of a place of need.

It took two to get here,

Two stories to tell,

Two crimes to commit.

Yeah in the end I feel it’s just one,

One More Night,

One more crime,

One last time,

Is never the end of this ride.

Everyone has got to have a reason,

To make that movie again,

To get to filming,

To get to remembering..

I can’t lock this away anymore,

And pretend like you don’t hear me at

The door,

I think I have to stay,

But it’s because I want to.

I think you have two more friends,

And two more places you can still go,

I think you have 2 sins you hate,

And two directions you can go,

I know this night had to be fast,

Trying to find you,

Trying to stay a little bit longer,

But the two hardest things in life,

Is everything that has to do with making

Things right.

So leave this place,

But don’t try to pretend and stay,

And if you try to run away,

I hope you have two more reasons,

Why that place was never good enough,

And,  while you’re on the run..

There’s two more times,

For two more crimes,

They are fear and regret,

And I think more than twice

They will try to come back again,

But this is where I need you,

To be the better friend.

Fast

Birthday was 11-13. Reflections.

Life is moving fast,
I stopped flying on your pass.
I got tired of risking it.
I got tired of missing it.
Life has all been on the mobile,
Moving slower than quickly,
Moving faster than that decade
We called influence.
I read that always wasn’t necessary,
That I was low on my library.
Cause all I had was knowledge,
All I knew was knowing.
Life has kept up this pace.
Fast has been the secret place.
Been running low on space,
Got to many pictures
To hold onto.
Got to many memories
Of You.
Fast and loving at the same
Time,
Hard and true with a little bit
Of kind.
I was a little high on the addiction.
I was a little confused by the tension.
How could You really be in control,
How could You really let me live
This slow?
It has only been mobile,
Life in the solo.
It has all been a fast paced
Memory.
It was always about those
Memories You used to keep.
All about those histories
We would someday read.
I was never to great at sitting still.
It was much better to find the thrill.
I needed Your grace, it could never
Be affordable.
I needed Your love, it has to be
Portable.
I need Your truth, it has to cost
Something.
I needed some proof, it can’t
Be everything.

Trap

Trapped in the
Tired cause I stayed
Tied cause I left,
Left in a rush with
It, Left you in the
Hush of it.
Got caught up in the
Lust of it,
Wanted a new rust
On this.
Shaved it off by
Time, with the mine,
All my belongings on the
Optimal,
On the
Bottom oval.
I was after the white.
No house.
Politics of the
Modest mouse..
Were we ready,
Or just present?
Were we better,
Or just the only one’s?
Going back is for this.
But life is forward
And so is green.
So is mean and lean.
New Sabotage
Or new garage?
New way of living.
That old house wasn’t giving.
I am not sure what it all means..
But I take pride in getting there.
I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,
And the journey.
But these capital letters
They are faded,
Cause meaning has become
Jaded.
Is church the next topic?
The next baby carrot?
To chase,
To circle,
To black without white
To home without house?
Isn’t it the same party
No matter who you are with?
Or this just all in my head?
Cause it was funny for a little bit,
Then, you were like..I am gonna stay
Here for a little while..
I thought I could get some extra from
You, thought I could go those miles for
You, thought this white had a house,
Had a mouse, had some corners,
Or is this your trap, and
Your fade back?

Monday

Real time thoughts. If you have been following or just started. I have been behind on my own creative dreams. 60 Days of poetry was( and is) in real time too. This is now( which is past the 60 days) This is today, and today is all we have.

I got the news,

The news of today.

I got to many hangups with

Yesterday.

I chose and did,

Wrong and long.

How did you hike it,

Did you alone?

Its hard to embrace the present, but that is the only way to move forward.

Embracing where you are.

Now that the day is ended,

And I have surrendered.

What will I lay down?

What will I paint this town?

Red, for victory?

Cause blood is all that matters.

Green, for inexperience,

Or for go, or for fast,

Or do I have what will last?

I ran fast. I did sweat.

I am listless now

 Over making lists.

Try 6:33,

Try it on.

A yoke that is easy,

What kind of scandal is that?

A life that costs nothing doesn’t

Seem worthy of living.

But now meaning comes from

The lack.

Cause I am not getting this time

Back.

Supergirl, Season 3

What kind of fight can there

Be?

The Flash is faster,

But so thin is this

Alabaster.

Am I really giving it my all?

Or am I caught up in the fall?

I mean, October 2007,

That was no open heaven.

Those doors were shut,

That mask was in the rut.

I put it off and put it on,

But I could not escape

That eschaton.

Those wrath filled prayers,

And those God awful blue chairs.

I was there, and you weren’t,

So you can’t write about it like

It is easy to understand.

I am the one living with me,

And sometimes I don’t like

What I see.

I mean, not with looks, or

Even with weight, or even

With the gold on the plate.

No, money hasn’t found me,

Neither has fame,

But when I drive I still

See L.A.

I mean, I see it.

So, this is Monday

But so is everyday.

A new beginning for

The winning.

Cause I got a chance to take,

And that is no mistake.

I got today, and that’s

All I can say.

60 Days:Windy

City to me,
Come forward with me.
Standing for you,
Sitting feels to new.
I texted, I messaged, I said I would
Never live like this again.
Friday in L.A.
That hasn’t been the way.
Hotels for you,
Hotels with you.
Living out of the end of the
New.
I am ready for city.
Ready for windy.
Cause safety,
You remember
Safety? We ditched
That a long time ago.
Caught up in the net.
Feeling the regret.
All the miles on the ten
for you.
All the miles back and forth
With the wishing and the
Wishing.
Sat with the upstate,
Sat with the hesitate.
Can’t see you happy.
Can’t see you new.
Can’t keep playing these videos
Like they were the only creative
I ever knew.
Its beats, baby.
And the windy city
That has me.
I came out here to hide.
I came in here to burn for
You.
Now you want a spin,
Now you want to spiral again.
Take me with you,
Cause at least that’s
Better than the upstate,

60 Days: Aug. 31st

Hooked on the night
Needed you in the right
Fan blowing on me,
Wanted you for the near me.
You had to get all education on me,
You had to get all never seem to text me.
I saw myself,
Putting that risk up on the shelf.
Sitting down at that table,
Asking you if you would be able.
I saw September,
It was getting first.
New years haven,
I’ll come back for this raven.
It sat on me, sat in me.
Even with silence you still
Talk to me.
What size shirt do you wear?
How is this Conneticut air.
Is it spelled right?
Are you correct?
Are you the one that
I could never suspect.
This fan is blowing.
This heat is rising.
The lack of you is
Never surprising.
Starbucks noon.
At you soon.
I am never the one to
Move the moon.
I see it clearer
Then ever before.
You are the one
That started this spin.
It was a win?
It was the begin.
But, to tell you the truth,
It feels like a spiral.
A downward kind.
A spin down the wrong
Path, where I feel I am
Storing up your wrath.