The Leave On

*This is a series..here’s part 3..
Still the strangest of things,
Had to take a break from it.
Living like the upside was never
Down,
Living like you were the one leaving
This town,
Like I packed away that leave on,
You know you got to get on,
Get on your way now.
I was looking for the satisfy,
For the reason why,
For the deeper conversations
We could have had.
I got good,
When it was bad.
I got bad when it could
Have been good,
Showing up later on Ya,
Showing up all showered up.
This is that kind of thing I don’t
Want to write about,
I needed you now
I needed the shout.
I needed this to be all
About that.
I needed you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.
Don’t unplug, you see,
Don’t unplug like that TV.
Don’t start going down,
Like the basement is there.
Like it won’t get far from near.
Get good on me,
Get bad no more,
Can’t break that,
Can’t cap that salary.
Get the leave on,
Or stay stuck here with me.

The TV on

Day like now,
Wish I was stronger
TV growing stranger.
Lasting for the longer,
This show has its strangest
Of things,
But you were still the last of
The rest to come.
Wish you had more to give,
Wish you had less to throw away
Cause that’s all gotten in the way.
Wish you called a little more
Or am I the one saying sorry to
Much.
I know you assumed I had the zoom in on
Ya,
I had this camera set to do whatever it takes
To get that shot,
That center fold picture of Ya.
I know it seems like your body is
All that matters,
Cause it is.
It is the drawing on the table,
And the lack of my stable that
Got you to go and get new on us.
I know you aren’t stronger
Than anyone else,
Just weaker than you want
To be.
TV still the strangest of
Things,
And you’re still the rearrange
In this relationship thing.
TV still on,
Cause that’s all that matters.

For 2

Thought I’d be the one to share this with you,

This night has never been blue,

It’s always been dark and black,

And it feels like I’m on the attack,

If this is nothing but the truth then that’s good enough,

Cuz at least it’s better than hiding,

And we all know how good you are at that,

If there’s something to say and to speak,

I hope it comes out of a place of need.

It took two to get here,

Two stories to tell,

Two crimes to commit.

Yeah in the end I feel it’s just one,

One More Night,

One more crime,

One last time,

Is never the end of this ride.

Everyone has got to have a reason,

To make that movie again,

To get to filming,

To get to remembering..

I can’t lock this away anymore,

And pretend like you don’t hear me at

The door,

I think I have to stay,

But it’s because I want to.

I think you have two more friends,

And two more places you can still go,

I think you have 2 sins you hate,

And two directions you can go,

I know this night had to be fast,

Trying to find you,

Trying to stay a little bit longer,

But the two hardest things in life,

Is everything that has to do with making

Things right.

So leave this place,

But don’t try to pretend and stay,

And if you try to run away,

I hope you have two more reasons,

Why that place was never good enough,

And,  while you’re on the run..

There’s two more times,

For two more crimes,

They are fear and regret,

And I think more than twice

They will try to come back again,

But this is where I need you,

To be the better friend.

Monday

Real time thoughts. If you have been following or just started. I have been behind on my own creative dreams. 60 Days of poetry was( and is) in real time too. This is now( which is past the 60 days) This is today, and today is all we have.

I got the news,

The news of today.

I got to many hangups with

Yesterday.

I chose and did,

Wrong and long.

How did you hike it,

Did you alone?

Its hard to embrace the present, but that is the only way to move forward.

Embracing where you are.

Now that the day is ended,

And I have surrendered.

What will I lay down?

What will I paint this town?

Red, for victory?

Cause blood is all that matters.

Green, for inexperience,

Or for go, or for fast,

Or do I have what will last?

I ran fast. I did sweat.

I am listless now

 Over making lists.

Try 6:33,

Try it on.

A yoke that is easy,

What kind of scandal is that?

A life that costs nothing doesn’t

Seem worthy of living.

But now meaning comes from

The lack.

Cause I am not getting this time

Back.

Supergirl, Season 3

What kind of fight can there

Be?

The Flash is faster,

But so thin is this

Alabaster.

Am I really giving it my all?

Or am I caught up in the fall?

I mean, October 2007,

That was no open heaven.

Those doors were shut,

That mask was in the rut.

I put it off and put it on,

But I could not escape

That eschaton.

Those wrath filled prayers,

And those God awful blue chairs.

I was there, and you weren’t,

So you can’t write about it like

It is easy to understand.

I am the one living with me,

And sometimes I don’t like

What I see.

I mean, not with looks, or

Even with weight, or even

With the gold on the plate.

No, money hasn’t found me,

Neither has fame,

But when I drive I still

See L.A.

I mean, I see it.

So, this is Monday

But so is everyday.

A new beginning for

The winning.

Cause I got a chance to take,

And that is no mistake.

I got today, and that’s

All I can say.

60 Days.. 8.22- The Town

8.22: Town
Had this town in the rear view,
Now we know we gotta go.
Drove slow was my criticism,
Is this really cynicism or not?
Cause when we get the sun
We get the Son.
I wanted,
I wandered.
I felt the thunder in the
Dry sky,
Who would want to lie?
The more I travel this state,
The more I cannot erase,
Denver will always be clever.
It will always call me back in.
Remind me of the days when..
I am down below the memories.
I am up above them too.
 I had a long list of regrets,
A longer list of pain to get
To.
But it was found,
In the town.
Am I a lucky one.
Can I see what I got?
Can I settle for better,
Or can I stay this weather?
Stick around,
Find the town.
Seek what you can
Try to live in the found.

60 Days: Friday Night

Friday night
Getting things right,
Writing is the way of life,
Pen in the end,
Is gonna  get the win,
Tongue ready with the white
Rider,
Aren’t you the justice I seek?
Aren’t you the painful one
In the meek?
I can’t help myself anymore,
I got to get back to wanting
More,
I thought I could carry myself down
This path,
Down 60 days of thunder,
Down the days where I
Used to wonder.
She still is there,
And so is he.
Standing in the middle,
Asking for friendship
With me.
The future seems to
Still be a choice,
Dad is restless and
I can’t hear his voice.
What kind of medicine will
It take to get grandma out
Of the grave?
Or make that white winter of
Comfort ever start to change?
These lines have been drawn,
And I can feel the yawn,
Its 3am and I am ready
For the dawn.
I am not friendly anymore,
Cause all I ever gave to you
Has been wasted.
I thought I was gifted enough
To get the climb back here in,
But instead I’ve been left with
Colorless paintings,
And all the times I wish I could
Have been better.
I got more to store,
And more to live by,
I got to many things to
Skip, to tell you of these
Bad hips.
I need a new walk with Ya,
So tell me if that can happen
Soon, or by noon, or by the
Next Friday night.

The Lines are still long

I have this bias towards film. And is something that has been expressed over and over on this blog. 2008 was really the first year I started trying movie reviews. I had a whole post on Lars and the Real Girl. It was the summer of Get Smart, Iron Man, The Hulk, exc.

When I was in the elementary school days we lived across the street from Carmike 10 in Fort Collins. Right next to Horsetooth Lanes. I think it called Chipper lanes now. Those years were spent waiting in line to see Star Wars remixed or whatever. I was 10. I had this keen awareness then as I do now that films came out and people watched them no matter what financial situation they were in. Movies were the ultimate place to gather no matter what. I am sure in desperate times people would sneak into movies.

Movies still play this role in my life. I think as a believer you view it differently and yet the same as others. I think as believers we have more opportunity to see where people are at and observe what they believe. We live in a glorious tension because not everything needs to be seen. However, the protest syndrome, over certain films like Beauty and the Beast( of which I still need to see) also gag all of us because the uproar from believers just seems somewhat inane and hypocritical. I don’t want to go off on all of that right now. Plenty of us watch Walking Dead and Game of Thrones. Plenty of us( myself included) got way into Breaking Bad. All of these are questionable in their ethics and graphic material. I am a fan of good story telling and realities that come with them, but you do have to weigh if seeing the complexity of evil transcends seeing evil in a way that is not worth just seeing the good story..yikes..complicated( to be continued)

The lines last night were long. The lines were long when I saw Spider-Man. The lines were long when me the homeboys from work saw Baby Driver. The lines have always been long. So what is the point? Are we just checking out? Is depression really taking over so that most people just numb out and 1 and every 5 films has the mental illness thread? Is the Time’s Magazine article that just came out warning us that medicine isn’t working even if we want it to? What is going on?

I am loud about one thing. And how loud is based on how hungry. God satisfies. God replaces what we think does and puts Himself in the center of our desires. If one message needs to be preached more it is the bread of life, the living water..

You need food and God gives it, but what you really need is Him. People are hungry. Hungry for truth. Hungry for risk. Hungry for adventure. Life has become fearfully and wonderfully complex!

You think its wrong to crave story when you are just getting started but the subtext of all drama and tragedy is that God is the source of healing. We will pay an endless amount of money on whatever we think will do the trick.

Isaiah 55:2 “Why do you spend…?…on what doesn’t satisfy.”

I am not after the one answer to fix it all because God does give us the choice to choose how to spend our money and how many long lines to stand in. Please don’t be counting down to black Friday where you inevitably will spend less time with your family shopping for a big screen television. You don’t need it. But what do you need?