Writing About You, Still.

Don’t know what you mean,

When you stand in front of me,

Drove by your house,

Rode on the freeway,

Begged for something new

When I think of You,

Your memories stay like glue,

The faces you have made,

The things that have stayed,

Are you still the same,

Or has your hair changed?

I am not asking to forget,

Just for a rearrange

Of times past, yet are you

Present? Have you overstayed? 

Are you gonna meet up with me?

Same place as we used to be,

Riding ferris wheels in the middle of

The day,

Riding memories for a while,

But I knew it was never for certain

I pull back the curtain,

Are you center stage?

Are you still the same, 

Or have you changed?

Are you home,

And are you alone?

When I drink it down,

I think you are around,

When I drive this town,

When am I gonna get away?

When we drink we talk the same 

Things, are you losing weight,

I know I am not.

Is this the point where you are gone,

And never coming back.

Are we living here forever,

Are we stuck together like glue,

Its been all about you everyday

Since that sunny day,

You cried a little,

You stayed a long time,

Now, I am just wasting time

Thinking you aren’t done yet,

You got some grays,

You got some days,

Are we still drinking,

Blowing smoke in circles,

Asking for the ship not

To sink,

What do you think?

We should be better,

I should be over You,

Would that be better?

Lessons

Lessons are learning,

Heart is burning,

Oceans away but you call anyway,

Are you better now that you’re older?

Are we together, or are we closer?

Can we be both?

Lessons of love are you passing

Down, is rain a sky thing, or does it

Pour no matter what?

I feel the weight of listening,

I’m up late thinking about you,

But you aren’t going away,

You aren’t fading anytime soon,

You taught some things,

But you lived some shame.

Is there a way to let go,

Or will I always know

How to fail,

how to fall,

How to keep it all hidden

Within?

Lessons soon to be learned,

Will loving you be on there?

Dusk/Dawn

Is this dusk or is this dawn?

Is this a stay or are you gone?

I am waking up next to nothing,

Love was always hoping and

Always was watching,

I used to have dreams,

I used to fall backwards 

For you,

I dream of high places now,

Is there a place I could go

Where you wouldn’t know?

I am up til dusk thinking about you,

Drinking coffee and you are always

Bothering me,

I see a way out of this mess,

I picture you in your dress,

The ones you used to wear 

For me,

Now you are home,

And nothing has changed.

I ask for Dawn,

Dreams spin and are you 

The one?

Did you call yourself everlasting,

Are you the one that knows

Me all to well?

I can’t sleep right,

I feel you at night,

I hide away and you

Stay the same,

You call and nothing

Does change,

I am fading into the 

Dusk,

Asking for mercy

In the dawn.

Again

Trying to get this right,

Still think of you at night,

Choices leave me dead,

Your body not in this bed

Are you the same as the way

You were with me, or has time

Moved you along,

I know You are music,

But I have stopped singing,

A little less with the dreaming,

I am only stuck when all moves

Past me,

I tried to keep some distance,

But pleasure is less

Resistance,

I feel you deeply

And it messes with me,

Are you sad, or are you

Happy? I’ve lost touch with

My dreams,

I fall back to my own head,

I stay hidden when you want

Me in the open,

I can’t risk and lose again,

Yet I choose your skin,

Fall into you again,

And again,

I know you are noise and

Yet you stay silent,

I know You are colors yet

All is bleak and black and

When will things ever change? 

Trying to get You right,

I stay up with you all night,

Got you covered,

Got your body memorized,

But are you still lonely?

Is this lovely?

You still leave alone,

I am here and I don’t

Know this home,

I know You are Creator and I 

Bow at nothing,

I want change but without

Sacrifice,

Again, I ask what I always

Ask, how long will this pain

Last?

Or, are you saying something

Else?

I will call again,

And fall again,

And ask you to stay again,

Your body will never be 

Enough, but I will choose

It again.

When will you come and

Make me better, again?

Again

Saturday here,

Voice I fear,

When you gonna come back around,

You’re buried in the ground,

Nowhere to be found,

Death has a sound,

It’s louder now,

Louder than before.

When you gonna call again,

Cause I crumble when you

Leave, wondering how you sleep,

Do you have peace, or do you just

Close your eyes?

I’m awake and I feel the pain,

Everyone is gone,

They’ve all moved on,

The high places cant get any higher,

The bridges you soon desire,

I’ve been asking for separation,

Would you notice my declaration,

Or am I buried, again, just like you.

My eyes wander,

My heart is in the wonder,

Can you make it thunder?

These blue skies are just the same,

Waiting for you to call me,

Not ready to be a father,

I’m here for you, again,

And again you raise me up,

Saturdays with You

Invitations

I feel your voice calling me,

Passing doors you walk through

Me, are you light?

Are you right?

Sold out seats to hear you speak,

Tragedy living under me,

Are you future?

Is this back like the beginning,

When we started,

Cause I’m confused daily,

Is this the kind of love that you want to

Give me?

I feel the hesitation,

I hear the invitation,

Am I silent,

Do I spend to much,

I got a hunch,

Can’t skip lunch,

Can I die for You?

Does it cost everything to follow

You, and yet I am stuck on you,

I can’t let go,

I gotta know,

Will I make it to tomorrow?

Cause high places call to me,

Bridges are higher for me,

Will you command angels,

Cover the angles,

Cause I’m hiding from the callings,

The invitations are here to stay,

What do you say?

The screen won’t cut it,

Need something different.

Piles

Piles of shame,

Your clothes on the floor,

I wanted more,

Your body to explore,

Is this war?

Heart is locked up,

Head is messed up

I know I abuse you,

Give you a stage,

Try to worship you

But you fade away,

Was it ever love?

Were we a family,

Did you die slowly,

New oceans,

Same movements,

I rarely answer when you 

Call me,

When is love gonna get here,

Your fear is what I hear,

Now I’m crushed,

And piles stack up

I stopped the dreaming,

I left the living,

I keep the worship,

I still bow down,

How high can I climb?

Will you catch me?

Is this for free,

Or is there a cost to this 

Tragedy?

Piles remain,

And I’m the same.

Skin

You got the skin,

You looking slim,

Your body is inviting,

Lust is on the list

And I can’t check it off Just yet,

This mind is broken,

Self- love is at the bottom,

I know I’m always leaving

And always asking you to Be with me,

Where is happy,

I think I was a kid when I felt that,

Can we go back, Can we rewind the time?

When was innocence?

You should have stopped me,

Talked to me, Showed me how to live

, Now I’m walking the streets 

Alone,

Hatng home,

Cause I am lonely,

Love doesnt pass through me,

Sin is at the door,

Lust on every corner,

Are you the coroner?

I’m dreamimg of bridges

And high places,

No one says You are coming soon!

Are all deceived? Isn’t hell already on the

earth? I’m not free

 And I see the flags,

I can’t surrender just yet,

Your body is to good To pass up,

When will I grow up and be a man?

You got the skin, It has me in,

Death isnt the sin

It’s closer than we think.

Saturdays

It’s Saturday and are you lonely?

Are you home, is it alone?

Are we still at this again, the memories

Did they just happen,

I know I want love and it feels

Far away, the voice of my father it

Follows me,

I got the rental and I paid the price

To drive you around,

That summer was pleasure and

I miss the measure of a man I used to

Be,

I was better around you,

Where are you now?

Are you happy?

Do you see your soul when you look

My way?

Have I been replaced, is your body still

All I want, are you just another body

Follow, I wish I would have missed you

When you were around,

Now I’m lost a little without you,

I’m in cold dark rooms and this heart

Is still burning,

Will I always miss you or will

You disappear from this brain,

For now, it’s Saturday,

And you remain in my

Memories.