Tight Rope

Walking that tight rope

Giving you all my hope,

Talking like I was walking

Alone,

Like I never had a home.
Your love was mobile,

That house was unstable,

Bad was the furniture,

Better was our future.
I learned how to fear because

Of you . I learned how to

Hide and never ask why .
I was in love with the sensation

I so hated all the hesitation.
Now I am older, a little wiser ,

A lot louder now.
I’ll remember that tightrope,

That walk alone,

That long hallway called

The safety zone.
The faces stayed the same,

The leader in me was not tame.

I did not accept that I would

Ever stay the same.
I remember seeing you back there,

Standing alone twirling your hair.

I remember those eyes,

They were closed for a while,

They weren’t open with that smile.
I thought worship was a place you

Made, and the place you stayed.

I used to think I never did ask those

Hard questions, like why did I stay so

Long, and why did I cry when it was

All gone?
I got the feeling like I made your

Prophecy come true,

Like it never was about anything

I needed to do.
It felt like nothing was affordable,

Like poverty was worship,

Like works was Sonship.
It felt like nothing was sensible,

Not even a little Friday night with

You, a little love for two, a little mystery

I wanted to keep about you..
I wish someone would have taught

Me, this love was portable,

This grace was never affordable.

This Gospel was never comfortable.
I walked all those tightropes

And I did it for you.

So why is risk never the

First clue, all my choices

Have been because of you

It’s a Fear

It is a fear 

It is a tremble.

I had a view of you ,

It used to be terrible.

I had climbed that mountain

When you were sleeping with

Strangers,

And calling me on my anger.

I had no fear because of you ,

I just had those eyes,

Staring back at me.

Easy now, I said, with my heart.

Easy now cause I’m never over you .

I had a lot I did love about you,

It’s a mystery still to me ,

Did I really fail it 

At trying to find it?

It’s a fear 

Cause you are near

60 Days: New Years Haven

8.28.
NYC,
Fighting over.
New Years haven,
New was next.
Had you for the best.
I can’t relax,
Cause you got the goods for
Me to see.
I was choosing purity.
I was skipping tragedy.
I was up late for the wrong
Reasons, journal had to die in
Those seasons.
Now I am up high.
I left you feeling dry.
When did school start?
When did you get that false
Start?
When did you start getting all
Wearing some glasses now?
Cause I spent to much time
Studying.
Now I am NYC,
Its fast and moving.
Smells of pain and sorrow.
Feels like Ray had more pizza
To borrow, I got ya now.
Where’s tomorrow?
Don’t tell me now how
Many more times you got to
Head home,
Cause I miss it to.
I miss it with You.
I miss Seattle.
I miss rain and kettle,
Tea and the sea with you.
Feels like it won’t drift.
This spin is just a first draft.

60 Days: Spin here..

60 Days.

Caught in it

Potential…

Now it’s essential my life 

Is elemental 

I’m the one you fight for 

Feel me limited 

Call me gifted ,

I am gonna use this

Use all.of it,

I was getting in,

Waiting for the fly in ,

Asking for the begin,

Calling you my friend,

Can anyone see these words 

And call it faithful,

Call it true.

I had some video watch,

Some love to live.

Your mercy is no edit ,

Cause I’ve read it and it’s a

Living magic.

I said I would be dead without you,

I would struggle to get away ,

That love you showed it 

Will be displayed.

The clouds were darkened,

The streets I saw and walked on.

I’m getting emotional cause

All I did was lose control .

Make these airplanes, please.

Give me some lift,

Some gift,

Some pain to shift,

Turn by surprise,

You own this sunrise..

60 Days. 8.24..

Morning rise,

Daily risen,

Belief is in the

Denizen.

Where you live,

Where you hide,

Where you abide.

Thursday and truth.

Avoiding the proof.

Hockey nights remind me of

You,

Dad in the stands,

Clapping his hands.

I thought I could move,

And move forward.

I thought this medicine

Was getting older.

Nothing is better without

You.

Everything is change.

Change from the instant.

Change from the moment.

Change from all the times I

Never worked at it.

Change for yourself.

Until fear stays up on

That shelf.