Day #42- Crash

‘FlyPain.”

Was a poem written in 2009 about wanting to crash. Fly. high. FLYING high..looking for a crash. Inspired by getting addicted to the show Lost on ABC.( grammer chek)

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Brain goes like ( ABOVE)

Symbols and signs,

July 30th to be exact,

Thought we had a rehash

Now Sunday( 9.23.18) I am gone,

East away,

Long away,

Worn, torn, scorn,

By the horn..

Louder..it says,

Is your love loud?

Are you proud?

No, I am not..I cannot be..

So what?

So what are you going to do now..

Lost in the crash,

Sugar low,

Blood high,

Cholesterol,

On a roll.

I am up, then I am down.

I am crash,

I need you around.

‘ Sometimes we need to crash into each other just to feel something.’ –

Graham It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something..)- source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/characters/nm0000332

No..

Its 2:05am in North Carolina,

I don’t want to post pictures because you will call and wants to know,

Maybe see me,

See me for sure.

No, I am down,

I am all down,

Fall is a hollow sound,

Are we doing what we always do,

Are we still counting down days until Christmas?

 

Day #41- Indecision(s)

July 31st

Pressed on this mattress,

Spinning and turning since 8 in the morning,

Backwards days I thought were past me.

I still think of her,

And you at the same time.

I couldn’t make it up,

Make up the time?

Or decide,

Decide if this was the right kind.

I know you thought you could stay and I wanted you to.

August was a starter,

July 31st was the day it started with you.

The day of weddings in summer times,

Yellow shades like James Bond,

The last recording of the old camcorder,

The Hi-8 Tapes of Dana Point,

The last Marriot,

The last time I saw the outside world.

I couldn’t decide.

Did I want to stay in the breeze,

And the Dana Point,

And the main point,

And the time you met me at the beach

In that pink blaze of beauty,

In that high school memory,

The first of love and burning

And late night madness,

All of it was!

All of it had to be!

When July 31st came,

It came and went,

It all was love,

It all of summer,

It all was indecision.

Day #40 – Fast( days_)

July 28th

Making dents,

Like I said,

Went around in circles,

Traveled Oakland,

Saw the half moon bay,

Thought of the man that ran that way,

Hospital lock down, day 1, on the run,

Again..

Loved it then.

Sped fast those days,

5 years have passed.

I am fast,

Set,

Steady on the message,

You know its new to me,

One time price,

One time for me now,

Can I get here..

Can I get here somehow.

Locked, on days spent wasting myself

On pleasure.

Water Bottle, you heard?

You saw, you needed.

I gave them too,

You looked skinny,

Was that from the fast?

Or are you just always in need?

Day #39- Hits

July 28th

Taking hits and giving in..

Thought I needed it..

Device for the devices,

Can’t see the scar that fades away..

And your head too,

And that tea a little soft too,

Wrenches,

Bring them,

You did.

Trenches,

Lost, and you dig,

You did?

Where is often,

Is it daily?

Is it now,

Then,

Past,

Present,

Broken,

Tremble,

In.

Is it a minor concussion,

You know?

From all the hits.

Day #38 – Trenches

July 27, 2018

Sunrise,

Blood moons,

Lunar Eclipses,

Days turned to night with you,

Embarrassed a little with you,

Or maybe because of you,

Stretching Thursdays into Fridays,

Watching night fall,

Bitter ending trails to form from

This new kind of norm,

Escaping from the ache,

Moving towards the mistake,

Taking it in the gut,

Sick, in the rut,

For the secrets keep you stuck.

Passing nights with you,

Falling in circles,

Spinning a little bit too,

Asking for fixing,

Looking for wrenches,

Lost in the trenches.

 

 

Day #37 – Mission(s)

Sent on a mission,

Entering the submission,

Day’s past were wrapped in the past.

Locked in and loved it for the sake of no one,

But got you in here,

Lost and insecure,

Really, resting, unsure.

Really, had you going for a minute!

Took you down the roads, and into the

Dark!

Pathways for the past were in this heart.

It wasn’t the first time, or the last time that you

Would be udone..

But it should be the last of these last missions

You call home, and away!

And everything felt a little better hidden away..

In the dark,

In the shadows.

Am I not the kind that could love the light!

Am I not the kind that would fade with the night!

Am I on a mission,

Or is it You that I am here for?