Show notes:

Louder Now is back with a new episode for a new month. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. My guest today tells her story of surviving domestic abuse and how to move in post traumatic growth. I so enjoyed talking with her. She is also doing big things and helping so many people now. Proud of her and honored that she shared on this podcast.

Agape’s BIO:

Be Your Incredible Self (BYIS) best describes Ms. Garcia’s tenacious attitude towards empowering others. Garcia, over the past 35 years has navigated through domestic violence, privacy, safety, vulnerability, and the mindset to endure personal adverse events in life. 

Her survival of a double attempted homicide while 8 months pregnant (by the father) and the desperation to survive became the catalyst to the foundation of BYIS while achieving an undisputed outlook of independence.  During her journey to overcome, Garcia learned that extreme independence is a trauma driven response and a natural one which can be defeated through focused, self awareness and intentional control. 

Through her own walk, harsh lessons brought on by extreme independence resulted in areas of her life being sabotaged repeatedly.  Her personal journey of post traumatic growth has led Garcia to dedicating her life in developing transformational programs, various forms of coaching, certification courses and establishing a nonprofit to help real time victims. Her commitment is to provide lifelong transformational habits that can restore your powerful internal sense of control. One of her personal statements, ‘You don’t live anywhere but in your head’  is why some of her laser focus teachings are on aligning your mental and emotional belief system. 

As her passion grew from her own personal struggles, Garcia became active within the community receiving a Mayoral appointment to work with various Law Enforcement and Government agencies. 

Garcia has spent more than 20 years in the corporate world holding positions in Office Administration, Project Management, Compliance, Policy writing, Team building, Training, Leadership and Consulting. She continued to serve other organizations including the American Society for Industrial Security (ASIS), Board of Directors, and holds a current membership in the FBI vetted private sector program of InfraGard. As VP of a Security Consultant Company, she has developed programs with leadership responsible for security and emergency management. These emphasize awareness toward identifying different stages of human behavior leading towards violence mitigation.

While working, attending school, and raising her kids as a single parent, her personal priorities of housing, safety and privacy for her children were of utmost importance. This required Garcia to navigate through various self-help centers, state, city, local programs, systems and assistance to create a stable foundation for her family while providing the ability to assist others. She also volunteers and collaborates with local law writer(s), in support of bills under Public Safety.

Garcia believes in the need to feel loved, wanted, and cared for as a part of life in all of us. Living through emotional tugs of war and learning to apply a controlled healthy mindset to overcome voids, shortcomings, and to break unhealthy cycles is who she is today versus the opposite of where she came from. Today, she prides herself on meeting the daily challenges of being vulnerable and safe at the same time while empowering others to Be Your Incredible Self.

Garcia’s personal mission is to help lead others in transforming their survival of Domestic Violence (DV) into Post Traumatic Growth and to mitigate the depletion of resources for real time victims.

Sharing her personal testimony has empowered so many others. She loves teaching her BYIS formula of: How to combine Situational Awareness with Emotional Intelligence to control your triggers.

TO FIND AGAPE ONLINE:

Go to her website:  

www.beyourincrediblself.com

Facebook:

 www.facebook.com/beincredible

Linked In:

www.linkedin.com/in/agarciabyis/

Instagram:

www.instagram.com/beyourincredibleself/

End of Show Notes:

Please email jared.diehl@gmail.com if you would like to be a guest on the podcast.

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*** call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 

TO CALL THE HOTLINE: 

800-273-8255

*** Technical Glitch–there might be some echo towards the end of the interview..not sure how to fix this but just to let you know there might be an echo** Thank you!

Late night repair,

Need you here,

Are you good,

Or just there?

Got you for the getaway,

Trying to drift,

Making the shift,

Seeing you

Whenever I go,

Walking away 

With love on my 

Lips,

Late night repair,

Heart on a wire,

Words for the despair,

Are you more than

Just here? 

Asking for change,

Looking for the 

Rearrange,

Now we are sitting

And speaking,

No one looks

Free in the twilight,

Still got the ache

When dark becomes

Night,

I am a late soul,

Losing control,

And wandering

With the eyes

You gave me,

Late night repair,

Blood and needles

And things to come,

When will you come?

Is it soon?

Is this a close up

And a zoom,

Is nearness what You

Are? 

Cause I got pain

You are far,

Farther then I can

See,

Living for the love

But today is misery,

Falling apart in the day,

And waiting up for you in

The night.

To many nights like this,

Trying to find someone 

To miss,

How many times did you

Leave us on the floor,

Up at night,

Asking for more,

Trying to let go,

Trying to explore,

To many night trying to change,

Waiting for the 

Rearrange,

Waiting for you to call,

Waiting for the fall,

Waiting for the departure.

To many nights lost in the 

Lust only one can hide,

Thought I saw your face,

Thought you left this place,

Thought I could use you,

But I can’t follow through

With following you,

Can’t find a way to keep

On loving you.

To many nights where 

Morning never ends,

And is the eternal love

Something to miss,

Something to skip,

You in a red dress

Can’t change what

I have seen and
Where we have

Been,

Can’t miss you more

Than I do now,

To many nights like this,

Are you the one I miss,

Or is it someone else?

Got me in the middle of

Things,

Made me remember

How I forgot about you,

Moved away,

Got away,

Under the sway,

Are you evil,

Or did you try to love me?

Trying to do things now,

Trying to be a man,

Do you understand?

Posted the pics,

Got the clicks,

Can’t unsee what

I have seen,

Looking for the clean,

Are you the one for the 

Job? 

Got me in the middle of

Rearranging,

Cause the middle calls

To me,

The middle of the night

When I used to live

For you,

Pacing days,

Praying days,

Glory in the ways,

Adored you when

I was young,

Took notes on how

To be a man,

Now I don’t understand.

In the middle of summer,

That has past,

In the middle of my past

I had you for the at last,

Middle damage done,

What have you become?

I try to sleep and

I try to remember you,

Eyes closed back to 

The middle days,

I am fading,

And soon could 

Be soon,

What do you remember

Now?

Back at it again,

To broken things needing

To get fixed,

Trying for the fast lane,

Wandering with the insane,

3 years since you had me

Locked in,

3 years since the looney

Bin,

White halls and empty

Prophets,

How many times did they

Cast something out of me?

Or pray not so softly,

Are we still talking about

This?

I got some hurts you can’t 

Heal,

No sorrow comes with 

Those pills,

Medicine isn’t gonna

Change the way you 

Were to me

Living in the fast lane,

Afraid to rest at night,

Isn’t your job to 

Give some peace,

I am not at ease,

Will I ever be? 

I’ve been locked away,

Never early,

Late to waking up,

Late to growing up,

Do you have the plan,

The plan for how to be 

A man?

I paced and walked and

Fell over screaming,

Had this whole place

Making recommendations.

I am just a patient,

Locked away,

Plugged in so you 

Stay away,

Loveless when I walk,

Cold at night,

How many more years are we

Gonna do this?

You had a chance,

A chance with me,

Young and fragile,

Now all my friends

Have friends,

And I still can’t 

Make amends,

Here we are again,

At it again,

Fixing broken things.

What do I get back from loving you?

Putting you on pause,

Asking because

You are way out there

And I am close in here,

Pills are still taking,

Something is taken,

Are we all mistaken,

Pain in the way I talk

With you, better off

Inside this head,

World is ahead,

And living is for 

The taking,

What do I gain from loving you?

I lose all my soul,

All control,

All is a loss and

All is hostile.

I’ve waited on your call

Late into the evening,

Here to say:

Why can’t we stay even?

I am undressing the things

I have seen and I can’t 

Erase what I have done,

I put you on display,

Hid the things that

Never should be

Hidden,

What do I find now where

I can’t find anything at all?

I feel death is the call,

You want it all,

Never did you once 

Ask for a little part of

This soul,

I can’t give you the

Control,

Now I have a soul

And it is screaming,

I have written many notes

To the world and lately

Hopeless words fill the pages,

Are you the future we want,

Waiting for the one we need?

I am gaining you

And losing the control,

Cause love is a 

All consuming flame!

Your coming down on me,

You never were up high anyway,

Days have wasted away,

Summer is here and your love

Isn’t near,

I am burning and 

Earning the way I feel,

Asking you to make a list,

Working it, now listless, 

Are we regular, or

More than that? 

Hopeless notes I leave to

Myself,

Dreams up on the shelf,

Now I reading the things

You tell me,

Where’s the mystery?

We used to have history,

I am coming down with

Something, I am addicted to

Being a regular man,

One that slides by and

Has no demands.

I am asking for more

But am I ready?

Death on the radio

Plays daily and I can only

Hear the bullets in the 

Distance,

Summer is resistance

And I am good with

Burning up on my own.

I want a home,

But this is a house

And we are strangers

Here,

You are coming down,

Soon and sooner than

We want! No one says

Its here or there, we 

All say its a nevermind

Kind of story,

I am coming down on

The way I talk to myself,

Hopeless notes and dreams

Of things we never did do,

I am lost and that’s because

I don’t know You,

You are coming down,

Coming down on the things

I need, writing notes of love

And mercy instead of

Tragedy,

I am coming down with

Something to, I am getting

Out of this town and

All the things that are blue.

Getting closer now,

Closer to the floor,

There is more and

This soul knows it,

When will I own it?

My whole life and the

Way I chose to love you,

You keep me up now,

And never is never a 

Thing you would say,

Short summers of love

All for you, now we are

Burning with the old 

Heat from when we 

Were kids,

Always leaving,

but  always staying inside

This heart of mine,

I know you can’t be the 

One we replace,

I had a summer ache,

Cops in blue chasing

Black capes in streets

Like a que,

I am still the same man

That needs you,

I want to know you better,

Better than midnights

And hotel fights,

I call you but I’d rather

Be close to you,

I am burning

And its all for you,

Eyes and hooks

And we all follow

Now! You are light

And that is the 

Only part of me that

Feels right.

Trying to balance with you,

Getting resistance in blue,

Do I know you, or just pretend to?

Latte in the late night,

Are you really the one

I am drinking, do you 

Know what I am really thinking?

Words divide this flesh,

Brain is a mesh from

All the pills,

Lost the thrills,

And now you tell me

How you’ve been living

All along,

What am I doing wrong,

Are you the God of dead 

Things?

Trying to find balance,

But really I am poor,

I am death knocking at

Your door,

Do you save if I go high up?

And how high do I gotta go 

For you to find me,

Save me,

Know me,

Cause I am not the one

You are drinking,

Do you know what I am

Really thinking?

What will happen when

We stop the late night

Conversations,

Are you coming or going?

When will this end,

Cause nothing can

Separate close friends!

Where are you in the balance,

Do you want defiance to

The regular things,

I am getting high on not

Knowing anything about you,

Just a body like a hobby and

A long drive to get to the heart

Of You,

Find me some balance in the

Late night latte,

Cause I need some sugar to

Stay sweet with you,

Find some balance cause

The end is near and I am worried

I am to late,

To late at loving you.

Feeling blue,

Cause I don’t know You,

You were always leaving,

We were never living,

Preacher says, ” You got to 

Get to giving, it leads to 

Loving!”,

I can’t hear your words 

Clearly, love is a rarely,

You keep calling me 

In the evening mostly 

To get even,

I’m barely seeing you for 

What you are worth,

Your location is out of 

Reach,

And im not here to 

Teach you how to stay 

Close to me,

Feeling blue,

Cause I know what to say 

But not what to do,

I’m crawling sometimes

Trying to find you,

You are dressing up for me,

Beauty is a rarely,

I’ve lost the mystery,

Now we smoke in the 

Evening,

Is this getting uneven?

I’m blue cause I know 

Your body,

Its a hobby,

But who are you when 

You are with me?

I’m blue and it’s making a dent,

Are You just,.

Are you True,

Do you have the blueprint 

To this chaos?

I can’t live like this,

Always in the distance,

I know what to say when you ask 

Me what kind of life I want to live!

I’m blue cause I’ve wasted 

Time not loving You!