Episode #141( Book Club BROTHERS VIDEO PODCAST)

I got to do a in person podcast with my Sunday morning book club brothers and it was so fun!

Notes from my podpage: ( https://www.podpage.com/jared-diehl-the-louder-now-podcast/louder-now-episode-141-our-spiritual-journey-with-the-book-club-brothers-samuel-jacob-and-stephen/)

Episode #141:

This was a special episode. Got to record this in person in mid December with my book club brothers Jacob, Samuel and Stephen. This past fall of 2022 we all read The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr together. Since then we have stayed and touch and have been developing a brotherhood together.

We go on a journey and talk faith, growing up and reflections on our faith in God. This was a special night of recording and talking and I am so honored to have these brothers in my life and I am excited for the future. I hope you enjoy our talk.

BIO of Jacob:

Jacob Swodeck is a husband, dad, veteran real estate guy, Clippers fan and a learner of all things true. 

Follow Jacob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacobswodeck/

BIO of Stephen:

Stephen F. Pflücker is a Faith Driven Entrepreneur, comes from the Business Banking world where he has more then 10 years of experience. He grew up as a pastors kid and was heavily involved in the ministry till He left not only His family but also the Things of God. It has been about a year that God got ahold of him. He has chosen to have God at the center of all His relationships and is in the business of Empowering others and growing Gods kingdom for the glory of God. 


BIO of Samuel:

Samuel is a thrilled Father of two sons. And brother to Stephen. I love Yeshua and my Father.

I manage short term rentals via Airbnb and am currently studying Hebrew. I have a BA in Theology. Professional table tennis player. Part of an awesome book club.Aspiring chef of Peruvian cuisine.

Follow him on Instagram:


End of Show Notes:

Please email jared.diehl@gmail.com if you would like to be a guest on the podcast.

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts:


Follow me on Instagram:


*** call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 




Still coming around
I don’t make a sound
And if I speak it’s not
About you,

I don’t know if it’s true
I can’t be all about you,
I come and go and it’s
I need the company,
You get me on the empty,

I drive and drive
To stay alive,
You want a story,
I need the money,
I’m losing here,
Losing you,
That’s the fear,

Can’t remember
How to remember
What your love was like,
But what we got I
Forgot cause I can’t
Grow or let it go,

Still coming around
Or going down,
Making it up
Or getting out
Before you go around
This mountain town,
Tell everyone you love
The way I look when
I leave.


I am alone when

You’re around,

Cause you barely 

Come around,

You call daily but

Do you want to 

Hear me?

You’re clocking in

On checking in but

I don’t think we are 


Its not your name,

Its the shame,

I show up here but

I am the same,

My life is

Tame and I am

The one to blame.

I am old and

Still afraid.

Older than the 

Last time I told you.

I am sad without you

But being with you was


I got a history 

Of asking you to 

Fix me,

Early mornings

And waking up the same,

Thought you were 

The one that could

Change everything?

I might be wrong

But I want to last 


I don’t think you

See but staying here

Is a mystery,

You’re the doctor,

What about future?

No one seems to 

See that not changing

Is a tragedy,

Greatness is buried

Deep inside of me,

And this pain 

Brings it out of me,

Name change for 

The less tame,

Neither meek nor 


But a steady incline

Toward wild.

Pressed Down

Pressing down,

Moving around,

Picking towns,

Where we gonna stay?

You were mad in the 

Rain, and mad in 

The day,

Nothing was safe

With you anyway.

Pressed down 

On me,

I’m trying to grow up 

But got you with me

Like it is always.

Why do you still 

Call today,

Do you

Or do you want to 

Fade away?

I’m going for love

But you give me 


Older now and still 


You know that feeling

Cause you never do 

New things,

Is that why you moved away?

Last names pass down,

But you’re not around,

When I walk I look down,

When I talk I got that 

Sound like I’m hungry

And it’s a pain,

Pressing on like we can’t 

Move on,

I hardly let you know,

It’s to hard to let you go,

But no one here calls 

You when it snows,

And what do you want 

Here anyway,

I can’t stand the silence 

And im older but still 


I am up lately asking 

For a new way,

I’m under your sway,

Do you got the plan

For how to be a man?

Cause all you ever did was

Press down on me,

We can’t live now,

Like this,

Like we like it, 

Like you want things to change,

But all these days feel the same

And who’s to blame, 

I’m pressed down and 

Still in your pain. 

Slow Again

Slow Again

Calling again,

Do you need a friend?

Are you single, 

Is that now, or 

Back then.

You had to stay next to me

When I wanted to go,

I had you fast and quickly,

It was close but never slow.

Spring time came,

I was to blame,

I never saved your 

Number with your name,

Had to run when I 

Should have stayed.

Saved you in my mind,

Did the time,

Tried to remember

It’s hard to forget

All the times I saw

You and it wasn’t

A shadow, it was

Full throttle,

Calling again,

Cause you found a 

New friend,

And you want to

Start this again.

Don’t know what you mean

When you say you want me,

I have some memories of

Those days,

But lately its been a haze.

Did you love me,

Or will you leave me?

I am quick to say

I can’t go slow again,

If you call again,

Don’t call me a friend.

Another Night

Won’t be the last night

I try to do right,

Got you as a memory,

Close to me,

Was it love,

Or just your body?

How many months

Are you gonna keep

It like this?

Do you like

Being liked after


Burning the miles

To find a way to


Are you low on

Being alone,

Are you tired of

That home,

Piles of things

You can’t let

Go of,

Things to move

Out of the way,

Why are you

Like this,

Is the night


Do you want

Another night

To get it right?

Will this be the last time


Or do you like the hollow


I’ve tried to say no,

And a little of the
Let go,

But I can’t let

You know,

I don’t know how to go slow,

I am listless

Over making lists,

Changes and things 

To rearrange,

Or the sound I make

When I stay the same,

The last time I saw you

I was leaving,

And you were


In all I was 


I can’t love you today,

That’s on the shelf,

I can’t sleep next to you

Any day, and anyway

Are you the one,

Or is this done?

This won’t be the last night

That I call you to get it right,

I miss the things you never

Did say,

Now I am a lover but I am 

In the way,

Lost in the sound of 

The hollow ground,

Cause soon enough

You will have had enough

And you will forget that love

For you was on my lips,

If I say you will stay,

And is that what you 

Want, another night

Where its this way?

White Walls

Are you alone when you’re home,

Pacing hallways looking 

For payphones,

Quarters for smokes

Are we home yet?

Is this a little piece of 


I can barely see the 


Are you living in this 

Water, all you do 

Is the work,

Will this really work,

This thing called love.

Are you over this place yet,

Is your bed on the empty

Since I’ve lost my mind,

Are you still lovely 

Without me,

Is this place costly,

Can I leave for free?

Are you still alone 

When you’re home,

You don’t know the 

Phone like I do,

Can I call to know 

Your voice?

This place is running 

On empty,

White walls with white 

Halls and no one knows 

My name,

Who’s to blame?

Can’t explain to you

The pain of wandering

Or the loss with no 


Giving pills,

Losing thrills,

Lost your chills,

Where do we go from 


Are you fear,

Can you be here?

Alone at home,

Without you here,

Away from that place

Where we used to pace.

Louder Now Episode #129( Domestic Violence Awareness Month And Post Traumatic Growth With Agape Garcia)

Show notes:

Louder Now is back with a new episode for a new month. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. My guest today tells her story of surviving domestic abuse and how to move in post traumatic growth. I so enjoyed talking with her. She is also doing big things and helping so many people now. Proud of her and honored that she shared on this podcast.

Agape’s BIO:

Be Your Incredible Self (BYIS) best describes Ms. Garcia’s tenacious attitude towards empowering others. Garcia, over the past 35 years has navigated through domestic violence, privacy, safety, vulnerability, and the mindset to endure personal adverse events in life. 

Her survival of a double attempted homicide while 8 months pregnant (by the father) and the desperation to survive became the catalyst to the foundation of BYIS while achieving an undisputed outlook of independence.  During her journey to overcome, Garcia learned that extreme independence is a trauma driven response and a natural one which can be defeated through focused, self awareness and intentional control. 

Through her own walk, harsh lessons brought on by extreme independence resulted in areas of her life being sabotaged repeatedly.  Her personal journey of post traumatic growth has led Garcia to dedicating her life in developing transformational programs, various forms of coaching, certification courses and establishing a nonprofit to help real time victims. Her commitment is to provide lifelong transformational habits that can restore your powerful internal sense of control. One of her personal statements, ‘You don’t live anywhere but in your head’  is why some of her laser focus teachings are on aligning your mental and emotional belief system. 

As her passion grew from her own personal struggles, Garcia became active within the community receiving a Mayoral appointment to work with various Law Enforcement and Government agencies. 

Garcia has spent more than 20 years in the corporate world holding positions in Office Administration, Project Management, Compliance, Policy writing, Team building, Training, Leadership and Consulting. She continued to serve other organizations including the American Society for Industrial Security (ASIS), Board of Directors, and holds a current membership in the FBI vetted private sector program of InfraGard. As VP of a Security Consultant Company, she has developed programs with leadership responsible for security and emergency management. These emphasize awareness toward identifying different stages of human behavior leading towards violence mitigation.

While working, attending school, and raising her kids as a single parent, her personal priorities of housing, safety and privacy for her children were of utmost importance. This required Garcia to navigate through various self-help centers, state, city, local programs, systems and assistance to create a stable foundation for her family while providing the ability to assist others. She also volunteers and collaborates with local law writer(s), in support of bills under Public Safety.

Garcia believes in the need to feel loved, wanted, and cared for as a part of life in all of us. Living through emotional tugs of war and learning to apply a controlled healthy mindset to overcome voids, shortcomings, and to break unhealthy cycles is who she is today versus the opposite of where she came from. Today, she prides herself on meeting the daily challenges of being vulnerable and safe at the same time while empowering others to Be Your Incredible Self.

Garcia’s personal mission is to help lead others in transforming their survival of Domestic Violence (DV) into Post Traumatic Growth and to mitigate the depletion of resources for real time victims.

Sharing her personal testimony has empowered so many others. She loves teaching her BYIS formula of: How to combine Situational Awareness with Emotional Intelligence to control your triggers.


Go to her website:  




Linked In:




End of Show Notes:

Please email jared.diehl@gmail.com if you would like to be a guest on the podcast.

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts:


Follow me on Instagram:


*** call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 



*** Technical Glitch–there might be some echo towards the end of the interview..not sure how to fix this but just to let you know there might be an echo** Thank you!