How much does it cost to keep your 

Pictures? Will you send video?

I’m still stuck, 

I want to see,

I fade like I can’t,

Cause I’m still beating,

Heart bleeding,

Your air in veins,

The drugs for my brain,

Do they work?

What’s my prescription?

Was it missing when we were 

Kids, cause my life is not like yours,

You are happy and secure,

I’m not so sure,

Can I keep the things you send to me?

Is your body worth it,

Can I stop this love,

Or are you still a killer?

I’m breathing in the shame,

I speak and the world judges,

Aren’t you just a flaming sword?

Do you ride the Heavens to help me,

Is your horse white in the night when 

All is never right,

Do your videos expire?

Are you for hire?

This purchase is fire and 

I’m consumed, 

There is sorrow for borrow 

No refunds for the sin

It’s wages is in,

Weakness the storage bin,

I’m lost in your pictures,

In the things you send me

I’ll never know the cost,

But I’m sure it’s everything.

Mercy Sirens

Mercy in sirens,

Covered in diamonds 

No more chances,.

Empty mansions,

Do you fall asleep early,

Or do you wait up for me?

I just want to go home,

Are you alone,

Or are you out there 


You changed oceans,

How are the waves?

Are we still tossed to and 

Fro, wheres your corruption?

Is this deconstruction?

I still have your picture,

What about the future?

Are you still drinking?

Pacing the halls,

Holding your brain hostage,

When are you gonna leave him,

Are you gonna run to me,

I only got enough love for me,

I’m in a drift,

I feel the shift,

I know your body,

But I can’t let go,

I’ll take it slow,

There’s mercy in the sirens,

I’m covered in diamonds,

No more chances,

Just lustful romances

And your pictures stay close,

Are you the rose,

Or is this just noise,

I’m in a drift,

This isn’t a dream 

I got endless chances 

And future romances,

Cause Your love is clean,

And washes these dreams,

There’s mercy in the sirens 

A Year Ago

is your hand heavy?

can you forgive?

cause when I’m alone I feel that you’re gone,

it lasts all night long,

I don’t know what I feel

i just want what’s real,

Are you from everlasting?

can you parent me?

cause im still going back,

back to white walls and

empty halls

When I wanted to die

And let it all go, when i asked for safety

And you fueled me on empty, is your hand heavy?

Are you here?

Heart Awake

I feel the drift,

I feel the shift,

Are you the heart

That lies awake,

Is Your hand on the door,

Do you turn and move

When its dark and

I lack the focus to try to

Love you better,

Do you remember when music

Was a disc,

And it spins in your head

Cause risk is what you are


And love is what you are


This heart lies awake,

And only you can make

It grow and yearn,

Where has kindness gone?

Is that something to earn,

Or can I expect a shift,

I am lying awake,

Staring at black and

Writing on paper,

What about the future,

Don’t let me drift.

Future Talk

Are you the future,
Are you in my past?
What does it take to
Really last?
All night long there
Was a pressure,
Do you press down
On me, do you leave
Cause I am panic
When you slip away,
Did you leave me here,
Here to burn and
Here to earn,
Where is the Father?
Does He have a heavy hand,
Is He all about the plans,
I know you see and do
All that is from above,
But why can’t you guide me,
All my friends are living their
Own lives, no one stops to
Ask about my future,
I am still in the past,
Are you here anyway?

Talking To You

Can’t remember the last time I was 


Could you remind me,

I know I feel empty and 

You’re to blame,

You’re the same,

You’re a thousand miles away,

But you’re voice is still 

In my head,

Where is the living?

Where is the water

You offer,

Are you Everlasting as

A Father,

Could you remind me

Could we be kids again,

Could you be good again?

I know the spiral,

I know the hospital,

Can you drug me?

What does it cost for you to 

Know me, will you stay to 


Or did you make new plans?

August was always a new


Are you better far away,

Or are you still the same?

Is this a talk that you will tend to,

Can I trade in this brain?

I might die if I leave your side

I know how to hide

And will you bury me

When it’s really the time,

Cause all this anger is my doing

This mind needs renewing.

Your the curse we carry cause we 

Only get one chance to live

And I’m not ready to go,

I know I have to face You

And eternity is to long 

Without you,

Follow me here,

Live in this space,

Are you renting this head out,

Can you buy it now,

Is this love for purchase?

I mostly forget,

Defined by regret,

Can you start it up again?

This heart and this place,

One true Father,

Help me ask for help

The next time I ask 

For mercy.


Burning clothes

And growing pains

Do you like what you see

When you look in the mirror?

Why this fear?

Dark for the spark,

Where is the drift,

And where is the wood?

Are you the sacrifice,

Is it really worth it?

The bigger picture of eternity

It keeps me up,

Up at night,

Burning bright

But buried deeply,

Its easier to settle,

I am deep into it

And I can’t escape

What I long for,



All the things you do

For me,

Burning clothes cause

Things have changed since

You were around.

What kind of look is

There now,

A look of uncertainty,

Or a look of clarity.


Let’s start with something different

What she says about me I know

I got some clarity,

Cause you got beauty like I’ve

Never seen,

And the way you cover your face,

Makes me return to this place,

Are you this pretty all of the time?

You tell me to stop looking back,

As if I got nothing going for the


I have been in a drift,

And I feel the shift,

When will I start to listen,

When will I quiet this soul


When will you leave this town,

Cause I am still writing like

You never left,

Still asking like you are

Still around.

I only listen when beauty

Speaks but that is rarely,

Wear my best things for you,

Wear myself out around you,

Why are you still here?

Let’s get it different

I am not coming around here


Truth can’t be so easy to


I got cracks and seeds get

Swallowed whole,

Are we as real as you


Are we lost as much as you

Say you were?

Let’s start with something


Let’s start with love.

Father/ Coffin

You left often 

Put the nail in the 


I was dead when you were 


Thirsty for water,

Waiting for father,

Why did you not know 

How to love me?

I used to want more,

I used to explore,

Now I’m not so sure,

Its Monday into Tuesday

And I feel your delay,

I am waiting, and always

Imagining a day when

It will be better.

This mind is full of wasted

Time and rewinds a little bit

Back to the past,

Remember when there was

Love and it was pure,

When I was sure,

When I would wait up

For you to come home,

Where are you now?

Has death come already,

Or are we still living.

You left often,

Put the nail in the coffin,

Wish I could go back in

Time and stop you from

Your exit,

Why did I try to die

Why did I never ask why,

Why did I survive?

3 days in the dark,

No angels to show me

The hell I deserved,

Where was mercy?

Where was the water,

The kind that only lives

Where was father,

Why was he never around?

Its Monday into Tuesday,

And each day that goes by

Has your memories here with


I am not free and no one

Can really see,

I am leaving often,

Death is gonna have

To wait.


Rolling my windows up 

It’s time to shup up and 

Suit up,

I feel your voice 


I feel your praise 


Am I just afraid,

Is this a charade,

I know I’m making mistakes 

And you are judging them,

When will I be free again?

What about youth,

What about way back when,

When I was free,

When I was young,

When I didn’t roll my 

Windows up,

Now I drift

I feel the shift,

Am I afraid when I leave 

Your side,

Or are you always this good?

I search and I strive,

But this heart is no longer 


I feel flat 

And scared of You,

Is this judgment,

What has happened to mercy?

Is this just the way it has always


Are you fire,

Is that where we begin?

Rolling my windows down,

Can’t take the begging

In this town,

The freeway is not so

Much free,

Is this the way I leave

You again,

You are love and that

Should be enough.

Let me feel the wind

Again, like the windows

Roll down,

And that love comes