Day #42- Crash

‘FlyPain.”

Was a poem written in 2009 about wanting to crash. Fly. high. FLYING high..looking for a crash. Inspired by getting addicted to the show Lost on ABC.( grammer chek)

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Brain goes like ( ABOVE)

Symbols and signs,

July 30th to be exact,

Thought we had a rehash

Now Sunday( 9.23.18) I am gone,

East away,

Long away,

Worn, torn, scorn,

By the horn..

Louder..it says,

Is your love loud?

Are you proud?

No, I am not..I cannot be..

So what?

So what are you going to do now..

Lost in the crash,

Sugar low,

Blood high,

Cholesterol,

On a roll.

I am up, then I am down.

I am crash,

I need you around.

‘ Sometimes we need to crash into each other just to feel something.’ –

Graham It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something..)- source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/characters/nm0000332

No..

Its 2:05am in North Carolina,

I don’t want to post pictures because you will call and wants to know,

Maybe see me,

See me for sure.

No, I am down,

I am all down,

Fall is a hollow sound,

Are we doing what we always do,

Are we still counting down days until Christmas?

 

Day #39- Hits

July 28th

Taking hits and giving in..

Thought I needed it..

Device for the devices,

Can’t see the scar that fades away..

And your head too,

And that tea a little soft too,

Wrenches,

Bring them,

You did.

Trenches,

Lost, and you dig,

You did?

Where is often,

Is it daily?

Is it now,

Then,

Past,

Present,

Broken,

Tremble,

In.

Is it a minor concussion,

You know?

From all the hits.

Day #38 – Trenches

July 27, 2018

Sunrise,

Blood moons,

Lunar Eclipses,

Days turned to night with you,

Embarrassed a little with you,

Or maybe because of you,

Stretching Thursdays into Fridays,

Watching night fall,

Bitter ending trails to form from

This new kind of norm,

Escaping from the ache,

Moving towards the mistake,

Taking it in the gut,

Sick, in the rut,

For the secrets keep you stuck.

Passing nights with you,

Falling in circles,

Spinning a little bit too,

Asking for fixing,

Looking for wrenches,

Lost in the trenches.

 

 

Day #31 – Stand It

Summer

Misdirection,

Misinformation,

Missed in the beach and,

Missed in the wind,

Missed in the time spent trying to

Not be it.

What ride it has been,

Where you want to hide and live it again,

And now you are far from home,

And far from now,

If this was love then it is just a beginning,

Can we live this,

And even stand it with a little bit of

Poverty?

Are you missed,

Or are you dismissed?

Cause I am here, and I know it has to be real.

Do you keep,

Do you store?

Do you steal,

Is that a thing?

I was misdirected once,

Searching for the fountain to drink from.

I know you think I don’t watch, or even see,

But this here is about a stand out,

And a can’t stand it when I am gone,

Away,

And wanting more.

I love the travel,

And the move around,

But you are the loving sound I get to now,

I will stand it if I need to.

Loud noises,

Louder now with it.

I won’t stand it if you start

Saying something different.

 

Feelings

How you feel becomes the first guidance of what is really going on in your life. However, parts of stay the same and stay locked down and sure in vision and truth and character.

Over time those feelings progress and move forward on you.

It feels unsure and unsafe yet it is the right thing to do. It doesn’t feel like the right thing and it is. It is both and yet no matter what..feelings can change.

Feelings. Feelings. Feelings.

Sad. Mad. Depressed. Anxious. Unsatisfied. Discontent. Rage. Change. Desire to be different. Love. Mercy. Grace.

Can you feel all of these in a short amount of time and be okay?

I think you can.

#feelings

The Hold On

You had the hold on,

The hold on me,

The hold on you.

Why are you named the way you

Are?

Perfect in imperfections.

But holding onto the

Traditions.

Faithful in the outcomes

But You made them anyway?

I was looking for a better reason

To balance this out.

To follow you on the porch lit

Scenery.

To hallow you in the

Misery, cause isn’t that a Holy

Place too?

I was always in the always,

Moving on and moving with the

Eschaton.

Isn’t it missed? Isn’t it a little

Dismissed?

I had some ages to live for,

But is this the one that I am

Here for?

I am closer now to the hold.

Waiting for the pickup,

For the Christmas wrap up.

For the biggest gift is unseen.

Is unclear in the here.

Is sure in the hear.

I am missing it.

Missing you in it.

Missing the parts that

Won’t be ages ago, or

Ages to come.

I need ya now.

I need the hold on.

In The Timing( 60 Days of Poetry)

In the Timing
Sunset was getting close,
You were waiting for this call,
I was waiting for the fall,
I can’t keep these secrets
So secret anymore.
You gave me this work,
You paid for the flights,
You gave me the lights,
They got some vibrant
On me,
They keep asking for me
To capture it,
Can we float like this?
Can we keep this high?
Cause I am not coming down.
I was looking back,
I was telling you about it all,
I am sick of carrying this burden
I am sick of lying to all my friends.
So I am saying so for the last time,
I am getting furry over the sorry,
These lies are killing all of us!
I am screwed all of this up,
Taken all these miles You have
Provided,
I should have said no to them,
All way to long ago,
You are my friend, this place
Has all my friends,
This is where it begins,
This is where the purity will
start,
The past is past us,
El Paso is home for now,
But that to will come to an end.