The Change

On January 28, 2019 By jareddiehl88In ADDICTION, airports, BIRTHDAYS, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, Community, Culture, CULTUREPOP, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, FAMILY, HighSchool, Hollywood, HOW TO, Hunger and thirst, Jesus, Mental Health, MILESTONES, MIND AND BRAIN, PALM TREES, PIECES OF WRITING, POEMS, Poetry, POPCULTURELeave a comment

We write our New Year’s resolutions but we had them all along. Each year is progress…

I got a long list rolling around in the back of my mind,

Pulled up to the front,

Burning in a rut,

Stuck on some structure you never gave,

And a new life,

I have to cave,

And go back,

Again,

To hyped up nights on the edge,

To find some lights to follow,

While the dark could swallow.

3 years later, we are still at it,

I mean a longer list that you have made,

At the top was the love that we lost,

And the hype around this thing called

Forever,

I got stuck,

Stuck in different beds

In different nights,

In the same kind of fight.

All I’ve known is the road,

And tires,

And mysteries,

And darkness,

And hotels with no

Windows,

And all the while I was

Caved in..

Not better,

Not worse,

Not the same,

Not the blame.

But now I am different,

Now I am shallow,

Now I am out of the hallow

They name,

And into something else

You claim..

I am into not being the same,

And forever change.

I got a longer list rolling around in my

Mind,

A longer list of all the things that I need

To change.

Day #42- Crash

On September 24, 2018 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, ADDICTION, California, CHURCH, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, EternityLeave a comment

‘FlyPain.”

Was a poem written in 2009 about wanting to crash. Fly. high. FLYING high..looking for a crash. Inspired by getting addicted to the show Lost on ABC.( grammer chek)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

*****************************************************************************************************%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**************************************############################################################################*****************************)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))**********************************^*&&&&&&&&&&&&&^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Brain goes like ( ABOVE)

Symbols and signs,

July 30th to be exact,

Thought we had a rehash

Now Sunday( 9.23.18) I am gone,

East away,

Long away,

Worn, torn, scorn,

By the horn..

Louder..it says,

Is your love loud?

Are you proud?

No, I am not..I cannot be..

So what?

So what are you going to do now..

Lost in the crash,

Sugar low,

Blood high,

Cholesterol,

On a roll.

I am up, then I am down.

I am crash,

I need you around.

‘ Sometimes we need to crash into each other just to feel something.’ –

“Graham : It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something..)- source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/characters/nm0000332

No..

Its 2:05am in North Carolina,

I don’t want to post pictures because you will call and wants to know,

Maybe see me,

See me for sure.

No, I am down,

I am all down,

Fall is a hollow sound,

Are we doing what we always do,

Are we still counting down days until Christmas?

Day #31 – Stand It

On August 27, 2018 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, California, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, Eternity, FAMILY, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Summer

Misdirection,

Misinformation,

Missed in the beach and,

Missed in the wind,

Missed in the time spent trying to

Not be it.

What ride it has been,

Where you want to hide and live it again,

And now you are far from home,

And far from now,

If this was love then it is just a beginning,

Can we live this,

And even stand it with a little bit of

Poverty?

Are you missed,

Or are you dismissed?

Cause I am here, and I know it has to be real.

Do you keep,

Do you store?

Do you steal,

Is that a thing?

I was misdirected once,

Searching for the fountain to drink from.

I know you think I don’t watch, or even see,

But this here is about a stand out,

And a can’t stand it when I am gone,

Away,

And wanting more.

I love the travel,

And the move around,

But you are the loving sound I get to now,

I will stand it if I need to.

Loud noises,

Louder now with it.

I won’t stand it if you start

Saying something different.

You, On

On January 1, 2018January 1, 2018 By jareddiehl88In California, DAILY LIFE, Discussions, Hunger and thirst, Series Poetry, SUNDAY NIGHTSLeave a comment

Key west with me,

Ride that scooter with me,

That was never for free.

That girl had it coming.

One more reason to leave,

Was a million more to stay.

Saturday is without you

And that’s the way it should be.

Lost my way thinking of that

Burning day,

Wanted you around,

Wanted you to stay.

Now your lost in this Ocean

Of wondering.

Got me on the street

Searching and pandering.

I never knew the list of reasons

and to do’s,

Just knew it was always about you.

Shining bright,

And keeping me up at night.

Needed you in this head,

Wanted you in this bed.

Needed someone to wake

Up next to,

Needed to move on,

And stop the thoughts about

You.

Key west with me,

Travel that world with me.

Watch the disaster fall around

Us, move on with that past thing

You called a sure thing.

I got plenty of time

To call you mine.

Trap

On November 2, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, DAILY LIFE, Discussions, Eternity, FAMILY, FILM, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

Trapped in the

Tired cause I stayed

Tied cause I left,

Left in a rush with

It, Left you in the

Hush of it.

Got caught up in the

Lust of it,

Wanted a new rust

On this.

Shaved it off by

Time, with the mine,

All my belongings on the

Optimal,

On the

Bottom oval.

I was after the white.

No house.

Politics of the

Modest mouse..

Were we ready,

Or just present?

Were we better,

Or just the only one’s?

Going back is for this.

But life is forward

And so is green.

So is mean and lean.

New Sabotage

Or new garage?

New way of living.

That old house wasn’t giving.

I am not sure what it all means..

But I take pride in getting there.

I take a lot of Joy and pride in the process,

And the journey.

But these capital letters

They are faded,

Cause meaning has become

Jaded.

Is church the next topic?

The next baby carrot?

To chase,

To circle,

To black without white

To home without house?

Isn’t it the same party

No matter who you are with?

Or this just all in my head?

Cause it was funny for a little bit,

Then, you were like..I am gonna stay

Here for a little while..

I thought I could get some extra from

You, thought I could go those miles for

You, thought this white had a house,

Had a mouse, had some corners,

Or is this your trap, and

Your fade back?

In The Timing( 60 Days of Poetry)

On August 22, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, Able Source Adventures, ADDICTION, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, CHURCH, Culture, CULTUREPOP, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, Eternity, MIND AND BRAINLeave a comment

In the Timing

Sunset was getting close,

You were waiting for this call,

I was waiting for the fall,

I can’t keep these secrets

So secret anymore.

You gave me this work,

You paid for the flights,

You gave me the lights,

They got some vibrant

On me,

They keep asking for me

To capture it,

Can we float like this?

Can we keep this high?

Cause I am not coming down.

I was looking back,

I was telling you about it all,

I am sick of carrying this burden

I am sick of lying to all my friends.

So I am saying so for the last time,

I am getting furry over the sorry,

These lies are killing all of us!

I am screwed all of this up,

Taken all these miles You have

Provided,

I should have said no to them,

All way to long ago,

You are my friend, this place

Has all my friends,

This is where it begins,

This is where the purity will

start,

The past is past us,

El Paso is home for now,

But that to will come to an end.

Spin

On August 15, 2017August 22, 2017 By jareddiehl88In 60 Days of Poetry, ADDICTION, Blogroll, Book Reviews, California, CHRSTIAN LIVING, Culture, CULTUREPOP, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, Discussions, MIND AND BRAIN, travels, Ventura Boulevard, VIDEOS, YOUNG ADULTSLeave a comment

My life be spinning in circles.

Risk is the theme and so is follow through.

Diplomacy is the skill but so is power

Love is the game but so is lust.

Rust is the result, but so is fat

And sorrow, and sad, and endless

Mad!

The sight of these eyes is not satisfied,

It is filled with lie!

So color me new,

Who am I trying to fool?

I am lost in the lust it takes

To call you mine–

One whisper of your name,

Drives me insane!

THE RUCKUS JOURNAL

Category: Discussions