Called Today

Survival is the curse

The final fight before the hearse

6 feet under is above the lowest spot

So let me follow through

Let me fall for You..will You?

Never has there been a man that is more

Alive! I sing it but I don’t believe it—you have

Crafted me in the busy life that surrounds me—

All my worship is worth it, license to drive,

But license to do whatever I want—scary it does

Seem that the world is ending so soon that I had

A fast zoom with red doors and summer memories of

Kansas City—stickshift summer it was

Curly haired kind of preacher—Arabian mystery has

Been revealed to me, we are from the place you were

And are coming back again—

Summer of magic, summer of near You, summer of

Winter soon to come,

Not being me is the greatest tragedy for everyone else

Is already taken—

Now its like outliner, eyeliner with black edges,

Now I am empty and I need You to fill me in again

And again—dark over light but please Lord, not

Tonight for I cannot always want tomorrow so soon—

Let me rest in the next 6 hours and love what it brings!

City With A Weight

City with a weight on it( with a never ending blessing) is from Vampire Weekend’s song Worship You.

Can’t quit,

City with a weight,

City with a never ending story to

Be rewritten,

Overly Zionistic with a lack

Of the crucifix,

Traditional man, praying to the

Saints of old, resurrected the mold

Of the old ways of all who have ever

Said ‘this is the way,’ this is the ‘correct’

Way to pray—wrong maybe, messy always—

Revival haters, God cannot be good if its not in

Order, decent is a recent claim, dead as can be

Inside glories memory,

Can’t quit in understanding,

I can quit the hype, pull it down and

Replace it with life,

Freeway addiction is everyone’s

Nonfiction, traffic lights with the

Eye of the beholder,

Furiously in love with the

Screen’s invitation, bigger

And better Avenger soon to be,

Give way to wrath, ask amiss to be

Thrown in with the bliss of not knowing

Seared in Sears is everyone’s Saturday

Tragedy, John Deere relaxation, outside

Garden is perfect but those roots in you

Don’t go deep,

City with a weight,

Man does hate those plans He has,

Am I the city of the battle Ax?

Am I a worthy weapon,

Worthy is your worthless word

The cross come down,

Can’t look at it,

Can’t love those that don’t

Want it,

Taco Tuesday has abused you,

Freedom ain’t so free if I have

To answer for this mystery—but

Nothing else gives life but You

And the city I live in


Caffeine tower

Empty lighter

Cigarette full of empty

Something to say has always haunted me

Talker, fast walker, a use to be runner

Sunny side up on those eggs

Dark shadows like bags to carry

Roads real scary for those that want

No fear—worthy is a worthless word

Without the work of not being sure—

Effort is a slave to the peace it takes

To please You, never a yoke without

A stroke, never rest without nights of

Regret for time spent on paying rent—

Is money my curse when I don’t have

A purse to fill with empty pennies?

Questions with no answers is my cancer—

I will answer them in due time

But until then I will sacrifice

The caffeine, the sugar, the lean

And the fat and the news that You

Reward those who seek You, its in

Your hands—the rewards that You



It’s a beauty and and a beat
I am not complete,
Sister brother where are you?
I am close to you,
I wish I was here in repeat,
To press delete on all you do,
Pyramid girl, sand digging,
Smile twisting,
I am into it,
Those second looks,
Bottled water,
Bottled up are those
Secret things you still
On a stage is the sage
You offer,
I am not with you
In reality or in your dreams,
I cannot let go but I should
For up late with this is amiss
I can’t now dismiss

Fantasy Man

Wasteland grab my hand
Waste away with me,
Cave into the sound of
That stronger voice,
Between the rocks are the
Socks over the water in the
Empty docks
Turn it up now who you are
And what you are not,
Beauty is in these eyes At every sunrise I see
Your face in the crowds,
Who can share ?
Who is here?
Shadows under those eyes,
Sties in these skies for it’s
Smell is of more than one
I am mesmerized by the simonized
Shine your dreams give me,
It has lasted this long of just
Voices and vibrations, just the form
As my norm, a fantasy man cannot
Stand, for I am deletion to my
Own extinction,
A fantasy man
Has parts and the upper without
The lower, the back without the
Front, the curves with no edges,
The sound without a voice or a shape, Or color up match all you say to me
I am forever waiting to
Wait no more,
Satisfy what has me awake
When I mean to sleep

Be It

Earned it
That thing called disappoint
Called repoint me,
Called reorient me,
Called Justin me,
Bieber is the believer that
Walks with me,
I swear I could swear no
More not by earth or by
My piety or this great lonely
Lonely it waits for the sound
Of cool air to stay upon my face,
I was smashed,
I was high,
I was a crack pipe guy,
Under the bridge I tried
To stay in these angel waves,
In the way you came over
And sat with me,
Be it never the same again,
Alone makes me feel less pain
And pain is the only way I
Can learn


Ingrate at the gate
Up late with these thoughts
Seroquel to chill, white paste
Now make haste to get rid of
The protection,
I am with you in thoughts
Trying to rewind our endless
Time together, I know not yet of
Pain or sorrow,
I am not asleep because You
Keep me always awake.
With my life at stake,
I am lonely with these
Summer shines on those winter days,
Now in a haze,
Fill me up or I starve,
Or I am just another longing
Yet to be fulfilled

Movie Review: The Prince Of Egypt(1998)

Again, in parenthesis, you can call this ‘favorites of the summer’ and possibly one of the best religious/spiritual film of all time. And if it so happens to be in the animated category then it really doesn’t matter what else can even come close because other than The Passion Of The Christ not many other Christian films come close. Like I had said in the LEGO movie review the animated genre has more going for it then you would even consider on the front end of things.

Writers: Phillip Lazebnick, Nicholas Meyer

Directed by: Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner

Plot: With this key phrase( in Hebrew the word is Yocheved) a woman says, ” My son, I have nothing I can give, but this chance that you may live.” And so most have heard the story of Moses but this is it. The Palace, the brotherhood and the rebellion. The audacity to confront the evil Pharoah and the same man that murdered a man out of his desire to see justice and to see peace be established to his own kind. Leading the people out of Egypt and with one very climatic scene of the dead sea splitting open this is one worthwhile musical/film.


Other points to be noted: I have heard the story of Exodus my whole life. Stemming from early five to six years old hearing it in Sunday school. And a decade ago( when I really started reading the bible for myself) I really got into the bible and embraced all the stories of Old and New. Most Christians skim over the Old Testament or avoid it altogether because we don’t like what we see when we see God. We don’t like the “Old Testament God” that we say is so divided and so cut off from “grace” and “mercy,” but seeing the way God cares for His people Israel is a more relevant piece of knowledge then perhaps just kitschy Christian films that seem to center more on “being positive” then in actual telling the truth and preaching the Gospel.

The deeper meaning: the story is simple and the characters are complex. That is often times the power of complexity. It is not in the actual storyline where subplots and subtext fuel the main things, rather the beauty lies in the complexity of the people. I am more convinced now more than any other time in my life in watching films that the characters and the humanity that they offer is what stays with me more and most certainly it is in this film’s case. God will have a people fully knit to His heart and to His will. It is a grave mistake for us to look at events happening in the Middle East and to simply gawk over some warped idea that all that remains and matters today is some pseudo Gentile mission that is devoid of Israel. Jesus will remain in the limitations of a man and still be fully God but has not and will not change the fact that He is a Jew and is Jewish and is returning to the city of the great king called Jerusalem. It is a serious error to eliminate Israel from any form of Second Coming theology and even from any belief and teaching that effects the way that we live today.

It is also true that people have misunderstood or overdone modern day Zionism and have become ‘to concerned’ with bringing salvation to the Jews because they are so hardened and missed the first coming, so lets try really hard to make them not miss it a second time. There is a need for balance and for both perspectives but seeing this film inspires that God is for His people Israel and will continued to use them as his battle ax and He will do us until He makes Jerusalem the place where He rules and reigns from and disciplines the nations from there.

Favorite lines: She says, “God saved you to be our deliverer! She says you are Moses, you are our deliverer!”

“God will not abandon you, so don’t abandon us!”

This is must see for everyone and for sure anyone who claims to be a Christian.



Favorite Movie Of The Summer: Review For Wish I Was Here

It would be important for me to mention the content rule in watching films. There is always a chance in searching for great works of film and music that one may have to filter through superfluous darkness that sometimes does have something to do with corruption and enable the storyline to be more believable. However, I am more under the assumption that Hollywood requires a certain amount of swear words, violence and sex to be infused into the film. This can make things difficult for the Christian. It would be sound doctrine for lovers of Jesus and aspire to live pure and Holy lives. But I am also under the impression that fallen people who seek to impact the world with their stories through the lens of film can include not needed darkness yet compile brilliance in reflecting God. The Diablo Cody film Paradise(which I review back in November) tells very striking points about life, God and the pain and confusion that conservative Christians can go through. However, I don’t think it would ever be deemed a Christian film.


Writers: Zack Braff and Adam Braff

Director: Zack Braff

Stars: Zack Braff, Josh Gad, Kate Hudson, Joey King, Mandy Patinkin and Pierce Gagnon

Basic Overview:

In light of the opening paragraph I have to say that there was some displeasing moments in this film including heavy cussing and otherwise some sketchy sexual content but filtering through that there is very subtle yet bold strokes of genius in this movie. I have to make the same content advisory for Garden State(now 10 years old) and its ability to convey the post adolescent struggle of trying to be a man and trying to be a grown up. In fact, in the book Generation Me Jean Twenge actually outlines Garden State as a premiere example of what young adults can drift themselves into post high school. Garden State showed hopes of a young man that was not willing to live the rest of his life numb to hard stuff and numb to the pain. Rather, life is about facing what is hard and embracing all that it has for you. Natalie Portman’s character embodied this and also directly said it in the film toward the end. Life is..(and the world fills in the blank)..whatever you want it to be.

Why I loved it so much..


Wish I Was Here now follows Aiden now  decade later struggling in his marriage and with his kids and still mourning the loss of his mother. Aiden is full of distance. He is not present. Hence, the title, Wish I Was Here. Aiden is not making it as an actor and the swear jar keeps adding the money because of his many cuss words he uses around his young kids. However, the pain of his distance is most felt with his complicated relationship with his dying dad. Gabe(Aiden’s dad) has cancer and is on the deathbed and could go at any minute. The opening monologue reflects on Aiden’s childhood ambition to play superhero. He pretty much says, ” I used to imagine saving the those people out there..but maybe we are just the regular people, the ones who get saved!”

Aidan is trying to get his also at a distance brother Noah to come and join in helping their dad live his last moments. Mandy Patinkin as Saul, however, is so good and so disturbing all at the same time. Its clear to me that one of the clearest story lines of my generation revolves around man and his father and all that goes along with that. So many stories center on some form of ‘quiet desperation’ with dad and how a man really will be messed up his whole life if his dad was a total jerk and didn’t care. Aiden, however, seeks to find here by being there for his dad. Noah seeks to face the pain too even though he admits that he is scared and that losing his mother was the hardest thing he had ever been through and he didn’t want to go through that again.

Aidan makes his other indelible statement to his brother, saying, ” now we are actually called upon to do something that requires some actual bravery!” And Sarah(Kate Hudson) tells the dad that this moment will shape your sons for the rest of their will shape who they are as men.


I cried a lot during this film. And its nothing I need to hide that I never had the best relationship with my dad, but one thing is for sure you only get one shot at this life. Every man gets once. Every man gets one shot and if he is lucky maybe you don’t die young and God lets you live even longer. I have to embrace hard things and hard people. Not because I am so much softer then the world around me, but because I am just as hard. I wish I was here all the time. All of me gets all the good and the bad that comes with being alive on this earth at this time in history.

So much of stories and films are about human survival and sometimes the hardest things we have to do usually involve those closest to us. Either saying goodbye to someone you kind of want dead and you kind of want gone, yet you know the love you have for them will not fade, even when they are gone. Learning to love yourself and loving your broken dad. Which for most of us is the situation in which we were raised in these are all things that make for excellent stories and for whatever reason Zack Braff makes this whole couple of sentences work. Aidan says, “we are finally called upon to do something great we spend our whole lives wanting to do something great and now requires some actual bravery..and he says to Noah and you go and hide..(Aidan then)  says the only problem with hiding in a fish bowl is that everyone can see you!”

I also like that Aidan quotes T.S. Elliot and the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock..Aidan says ( from the poem) .“Time yet for you and time for me!”

Come out of hiding and face the inner man in you that maybe didn’t get dealt the best situation with maybe not so healthy parents and live life. Don’t wish you were here, simply just be here. See this film! The for certain highlight of the summer in terms of going to the theater and seeing a movie. Heavenly Father is also a very well crafted song to add to this soundtrack that Bon Iver specifically wrote in response after he saw the film all the way through.