60 Days:Windy

City to me,
Come forward with me.
Standing for you,
Sitting feels to new.
I texted, I messaged, I said I would
Never live like this again.
Friday in L.A.
That hasn’t been the way.
Hotels for you,
Hotels with you.
Living out of the end of the
New.
I am ready for city.
Ready for windy.
Cause safety,
You remember
Safety? We ditched
That a long time ago.
Caught up in the net.
Feeling the regret.
All the miles on the ten
for you.
All the miles back and forth
With the wishing and the
Wishing.
Sat with the upstate,
Sat with the hesitate.
Can’t see you happy.
Can’t see you new.
Can’t keep playing these videos
Like they were the only creative
I ever knew.
Its beats, baby.
And the windy city
That has me.
I came out here to hide.
I came in here to burn for
You.
Now you want a spin,
Now you want to spiral again.
Take me with you,
Cause at least that’s
Better than the upstate,
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Raised, Pt. 2

What you want,

Is what you can’t find,

Cause sun was always on the

Hide,

It was always on the rise,

You made some light,

You carried it tight,

Locked, and surely

Never right,

Tomorrow the shades are getting

Darker,

The purity is burning away

With all the vile things love

Can say,

I wanted to go there to,

Down and up,

And moving towards the shameless

Role I knew you could always play,

I was raised to hunger,

I was raised to wonder,

I was raised to stay under

The covers,

And ask you now?

Can you stay there,

Can you be the one to

Stop this madness,

I was raised with a pure dream,

Now its just a nightmare to

Stay asleep,

These eyes are bright for

You,

Made light for you,

It could kill me soon,

To see you to soon,

To swallow some stars

Without the moon,

I too had to start somewhere,

Raised in pieces,

Still picking them up,

Raised to see,

And that is the

Next part,

Actually seeing..

Memory Wars

Inspired by my last week of being 29. November 13th is coming soon to a theater near you. As a child my parent’s would ask me, “Where is that movie playing?” I would say, “in theaters everywhere.” Switchfoot songs and especially their last album Fading West has been a source of inspiration. Here’s to the memories we have..good, bad and eternal.

Remembering to often

Waiting for the coffin,

Another nail for the unseen

Hail,

Remembering those words You

Spoke way back when

That red couch was my best friend—

Anger for the stranger, anger before

The manger now I am the manager

Of my own destiny,

Now I am forgetting the nails, the side

Splitting of Your body, a doubting Thomas,

A doubting spill of the dross,

I empty the burnt things,

The new signet rings,

The sealed love of the greatest

Song to sing, one more week before

The twenties end,

One more 30 years to get it right,

To live with waste is as good as

Haste, for I cannot move forward alone—

All or nothing at all is the song I sing,

Slipping away past the memories that

Haunt me, everyone has a fractured father,

A broken mother, a lost brother, a beautiful

Sister—but is heaven really my family,

Are my enemies really actually with me?

All or nothing are these memories,

Remembering feels like a curse,

Tomorrow could be the hearse,

Tonight could be the end—I will

Never know, I will just trust today,

And live with memories that have

Shaped me

Sermon At My Church

I got to preach last month at our Sunday night service. Got to speak on Righteousness. It has been such a blessing being at New Life in Pomona. I love this place! Thank you Cody, Craig and Billy.

How to Help your Kids with Depression

My mom has helped me so much over the years be more than just a default I need your help parent but has been my rock and my friend. Just like the into the light video this is the start of a series of videos tackling depression. My mom talks about what a parent can do. Filmed where it all went down in Laguna Niguel at Salt Creek beach.

Lies in the cracks

I am new to daily life,

I am new to mundane

An expert at insane,

Sugar addiction,

Love friction,

Lack of fruit for this

Cup I feel is never to

Full–

Lies in the cracks,

Lies in the backs that walk

This earth–

Oh God, I have no answers for the futures that

Await me–

Just kids play in the background–

I am weak in every way of the word,

I am on that couch again where you

Sit with me,

A couch family was rarely felt,

Its strips of rips of cloths of colors

Blurred blue now,

Embarased–for I can’t even spell it right,

Never did I like that house we lived in,

It was always shaking,

It was always faking its appearance upon

Me, mountain view behind us,

But heavy rocks upon us—

Where is wrath now?

Upon the world or in

The home? Safety was never

Found, church affairs, no one

Sees your family life, the way you

Use the knife with words to send

Your kids out the door, to tell your

Wife no more saying no to me,

I am the man, submit to me..

Hummmm…ahmmmm..

Really?

Video Replay

Daily is a mystery

Forged in the mundane

Starved out in the rain—puddles of

Pain they passed out then—everything is

A movie played on replay,

I was once the seed,

Crafted before birth to

Carry the berth

Called it purpose before,

Called it wanting to explore

Call it love for more, never settled

Never satisfied—blood that is red,

Pain that is a guide always looking

For the wrong kind—how has one changed?

How does one gage it?

Seed to bread now ready to feed

‘The lips of the righteous feed many,’

The dead give every penny,

Every last mite, every last might,

Every last late night, every last part

Of the oil it takes in the toil it takes

To keep on giving—

This life is like a video played on replay—

Used to be shut in, used to be closed up,

Used to be in the crowd all the time—

But every last drop has been spilt,

Every last bit of You has been poured out—

Alive is the replay of the video mind you have

Given to me—

Shut in no longer, seed no longer,

Now something stronger,

Something of vinegar they gave You

On the edge of my sword I pierced You—

That man that suffered in the flesh

That stayed silent as He was defiant

Against the accusation—

Honor is a hollow tragedy no longer

Filled in with the story of glory You have

Written—

Bread is where I am, feeding on love

Instead, vultures are above, the sea is

Below filled in is hollow—

The shut in man has nowhere to run

Just stays on the run—

Facing it, facing the world, facing your life—

That is all it takes sometimes—

Let mercy be on replay

For this video of a life You have

Given me