Lies in the cracks

I am new to daily life,

I am new to mundane

An expert at insane,

Sugar addiction,

Love friction,

Lack of fruit for this

Cup I feel is never to


Lies in the cracks,

Lies in the backs that walk

This earth–

Oh God, I have no answers for the futures that

Await me–

Just kids play in the background–

I am weak in every way of the word,

I am on that couch again where you

Sit with me,

A couch family was rarely felt,

Its strips of rips of cloths of colors

Blurred blue now,

Embarased–for I can’t even spell it right,

Never did I like that house we lived in,

It was always shaking,

It was always faking its appearance upon

Me, mountain view behind us,

But heavy rocks upon us—

Where is wrath now?

Upon the world or in

The home? Safety was never

Found, church affairs, no one

Sees your family life, the way you

Use the knife with words to send

Your kids out the door, to tell your

Wife no more saying no to me,

I am the man, submit to me..



I Am The Mission

Memories, a double-edged tragedy

Making copies, carrying past trophies,

Always on time, always loud in the morning—

Wake up call, five eggs and lots of coffee,

Daily is like laundry, same colors, same

Temperature, burger King memories, soda

For free, Starbucks in the wake up calls—

A daily pass to get out back in the world

So cruel—wrecking ball would appall us

All! White clothes for the darkened colors

Of the world’s best sinners! I have a feast

But are the lame invited? Are the blind around

Me even if they can’t see my faceless invitation

My heartless inventions—

I am a homosexual! Yes, I am! I am a lesbian!

I am a sexual predator, I am a_____don’t say it!

I am a blank page of messiness, I am a proclivity

Against gravity, I am in love with sin’s cavity—

I am shiny on the outside and gross on the inside!

All this depravity why should we say it ain’t so!

For failure is how you grow

Sinless is for the Savior

Sinful is for the mercy bender like me

I am in need of good news for all I see is bad

Words and letters written all over of me—

I am Your epistle! I am love’s missle!

I am the mission God—to save me is Your


Memories, a double-edged tragedy

Making copies of the old me,

Handing them out around town

You appeared like a gardener

You appeared for a garden like me

You appear to break the thorns I carry

I am the thistle

I am love’s missile

I am incapable of saving myself—

Start a fire God, burn that which is already

Smoke, is nothing but a joke of an effort,

Is a green screen full of fake dessert

Sweet, good and pleasure—its all from You

Teach me how to love what is right!

Is it over yet?

Is it over yet?

It’s a tepid stream

It’s a river’s dream

It’s a fiery stream

Absurd it sounds this grace

That abounds—I am dark in the night,

Hidden under the covers,

A heated lover,

A heated freedom fighter—

It’s a free fall in this city of

Angels, this love works all the angles—

Worthy is this life I live!

For Your gifts are still being unwrapped—

I have the mind that you died with,

That had thorns in it, I am regret on

Repeat cause I still feel the heat,

It burns and keeps me up at night—

Snowflake cities they were once apart

Of my memories—presence with the presents

On Christmas morning—dad had his coffee,

Its maker on repeat, its smell like a hollow shell

Of a shaped day, his munchies, his endless fights

With death—television was at the center,

Kids are actors, no, really we were!

Center stage we took,

Couldn’t read a book,

Put it all on looks—had those bright eyes

In the night sky, had those crushes to the

Sky—a hesitant soul lived in the hollow shell

Of yesterday’s dreams—what is regret?

What is the pain it brings? Is it just a memory,

Those things you could have done?

Is it over yet?

This life you have given—

To live it the weapon to wield,

To feel the dirt, to live in the light—

To embrace pain cause it will come—

To not live numb, to face being dumb-

To be smart, to be on the edge, to be

Sharp, but to love with all your heart

It is not over yet, there is still time for

No regret


Sitting at the shoreline wasting time
Summer of fireworks, summer by the docks,
Summer with no socks—now these feet are dirty,
This heart is weary, this head has never rested so
Easily upon these shoulders You have given me,
Government where is Your governor? Is He righteous
Yet? Is the earth covered yet? Is this dirt wet, is this clay
The way I was made? Formed and fashioned has lost its
Fashion sense—
No longer closer do we stay but this love is to good
For me to receive it all over again—
Shoreline kind of living,
Those friends over there they have jumped
Right in, now a fisher of men, now a tax collecting
Fiend you are, now a friend He calls you, now a
Lover He divides You,
Shadow power for the shadow
Coward, murder in your hands,
Now I plead with reality, please
Don’t invade this weary land just
Yet! I know its dry and the river is
Low but we still gotta know how
Heaven can grow—
Is this message up to me?
Up to us self absorbed friends
That You have called—
Set apart, set in stone, set
On the shoreline of choice and
Destiny, of the mystery and the
Destiny—I choose, I have the choice,
I choose to crossover into that scary
River of life that is nothing less then
The whole truth—made for love,
Made for fullness, made not for
The dullness of selfishness—
Shoreline no more,
Cross over


Forehead reads deceased

Heart bleeds increased—

February strong, sanded memories

Mountain backdrop, I cannot get up now—

Out of order it reads—first to live, second to

Die, third day to be raised up high—three days

This stick will perish, this love will cherish You

All over again—that middle week, that middle

Weakness—I saw you looking, saw you waiting,

All my friends left anyways, corn mazes and empty

Fields could make me yield to You—It hurts now to

Think of the losses—the white box detox, the driveway

Memories of driving away with your loss, with your innocence

Lost—it’s a glory road paved with pain, just need some silver linings

Now, its just a sliver some would say

Forehead reads deceased but my

Story reads increased—

Death to life,

You are the risen one!

The cops chased the cape and

There’s still an ache—that black Knight

Never lived it right—no one can save certain

Memories—all will parish and love will cherish

The inside of me, clean me out and set me with

A fresh heart, one that bleeds love, bleeds mercy

Bleeds cherish me before I parish


16“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.Isa. 49:16

Covered in ink, tattooed for glory

But should I show it? Something to remember You—

How the summer was never meant for adventure but

How it has come to that—do I make money off of this

Reflection? Probably not but the worth is in the wait—

This tent is for rent and I keep repeating that—this body

Is more broken then yesteryear, then the love way down there

Below the sea where no one can see—

Killjoy for this party called hanging out, called games and toys

And loud noises—but without love I am a no show just like

Those who once said yes, who once gave their best, where are they


Now I am covered in ink, it makes me think—

Something to remember Your mercy—

Hide us, run from us! The wrath is here to stay,

The lamb slain is here to stay—

I am a doubting kind of man, a hollow right hand seems

To swoop down upon me—I just have words and memories—

Those bright hallways, that half caffeinated waiting room,

That circular observatory, those hallways of glory, those

Daily take downs, those card game labors, those in between

Friends that sat on the curb with me,

Colored red for emergency, but isn’t mercy

The urgency? It hurts leaving some behind, leaving

To a new city to hide behind—

Like the ink I carry I will not forget those friendships

For they will be with me forever and in forever we

Will continue, for aren’t we apart of that continuing

City, will You build my walls continually—the right ones,

The bright one’s, the loveless adventures in the fluorescent

Sunrise, in this plastic city called reality—it is here, it is now,

But I wait for You continually, ready to call this place Your



Forgery affair

Stacks of I don’t care

Windows back to that

Summer of lack

Poverty stricken

Plastic driven

White box detox

Memories of the first time

I saw You,

Memories of the redo

Of the slick backed hairdo

Super cut, in the gut, it lives

And moves and finds it being in


The undo button

Became a glutton

For love smitten

Is the sanded side of

The ship—the one with

Power is the one this hour!

Down I go, lower to the floor

Here on God’s great dance floor!

I am alive, there is no turning back

You have forged in me a new me

One that can never be the same—

He who looks back is not fit for

This invisible kingdom—

Suffering I say for the man that

Does not sway—keep me, bind me

But I will not stay in the middle—

I will live for You

Backup Plan With Fire

Giving up like a pharmacy on

Empty, sidewalks like the ocean

Swimming in the sun,

Seeing what’s real

Feeling it to much

In to much a rush to grow up

Grays are not forming yet but

The fears of regret how they do

Attach—yesterday was never the

Reason for today—

A crime to commit to never

Admit the fears you live in—

Giving up like a pharmacy on

Empty—numbness is my deafness

Don’t we all go to the same place?

Is pain the clearest way forward—

I will win at this difficulty, I will not

Write this tragedy yet,

I will face what every man faces:

His older influence

His older elder


His fear of regret..

Does love fix that?

There is no backup plan anymore—

Its all or nothing at all—

Its sink or swim—

Giving up on having a plan,

A plan to recall, a plan in case

Of a fall, a plan for the brawl soon

To appear while we stay down here—

A plan for the next 24 hours cause anything

Goes when these cracks are because of me—

Empty pharmacy is burning down,

Is no longer in this plastic town—

No more plans for the worst for

Its already here, plans to surrender,

Plans to render the later changes that

Will cover the regret found in the pavement—

Walk upon it and burn everything else

Tablet Heart

Tablet crack

Glory shack

Movable temple

Shekinah rental

Skin and bones with

Valley tones

Connected in wrath

Remembered in mercy

Plain tablet

Father cabinet

Dead president

You swirled in regret

Made a dent

Slaving for rent, town

Mountain and tent—

Thirsty summer, better

Than winter—

Heart on the table

Truth verse fable

Oral passing of God

Digressing—get up now,

To the high place

For gold is on the bottom

Carved with boredom—

Before Kingdom come was

Kingdom now without a crown—

On the edges was the man on fire—

Down to the place where lust did pace

The tablets cracked and back up at last—

Shack of shackles in this wilderness—

Freedom was the curse and I thirst for

Garlic—king Pharaoh and the sparrow hold

The same affection for the heart of misdirection—

Hardened is a mystery and little is why I worry—

Better shoes with glory clues—

100 feet a day for the feast to go away—

Filled to our nostrils is the wandering

Pentecostal—manifesting without love,

Twitching without truth, falling over just

Because—without love it’s a circumcised

Memory, the outer is perishing, the law like

A cavity, love like gravity—which weighs more?

Power or just being on the floor? The tablet is new

Now with new rules and new flesh and new songs

To sing inside what freedom brings—we don’t all

Go to the same place—but this tablet called love

Has written it upon me to stay seeking You as

You write it on me those clues of destiny

A tablet heart burning with truth, let how

One lives be the proof

City With A Weight

City with a weight on it( with a never ending blessing) is from Vampire Weekend’s song Worship You.

Can’t quit,

City with a weight,

City with a never ending story to

Be rewritten,

Overly Zionistic with a lack

Of the crucifix,

Traditional man, praying to the

Saints of old, resurrected the mold

Of the old ways of all who have ever

Said ‘this is the way,’ this is the ‘correct’

Way to pray—wrong maybe, messy always—

Revival haters, God cannot be good if its not in

Order, decent is a recent claim, dead as can be

Inside glories memory,

Can’t quit in understanding,

I can quit the hype, pull it down and

Replace it with life,

Freeway addiction is everyone’s

Nonfiction, traffic lights with the

Eye of the beholder,

Furiously in love with the

Screen’s invitation, bigger

And better Avenger soon to be,

Give way to wrath, ask amiss to be

Thrown in with the bliss of not knowing

Seared in Sears is everyone’s Saturday

Tragedy, John Deere relaxation, outside

Garden is perfect but those roots in you

Don’t go deep,

City with a weight,

Man does hate those plans He has,

Am I the city of the battle Ax?

Am I a worthy weapon,

Worthy is your worthless word

The cross come down,

Can’t look at it,

Can’t love those that don’t

Want it,

Taco Tuesday has abused you,

Freedom ain’t so free if I have

To answer for this mystery—but

Nothing else gives life but You

And the city I live in