Interlude- Body

Body of yours,
This life of poise,
This world of noise.
This place I cover,
This place I hover,
Anger you stored up,
Wrath for the hungry,
Treasures for the lonely,
Are you telling me to stop,
Or are you telling me to stay?

Body of yours,
White and pale,
Snow and hail,
Rain and reign,
Are you still king?
Are you still the rearrange?

Cause we never had furniture,
Cause we worried about future,
Cause we needed new furniture,
Cause we can’t change future.

Seated on us,
Seated within us,
This life is poise,
This world of noise,
I am crying out and loud,
Time is going by,
Time is flying by,
Are you still as loud as you used to be?

Is noise what we need,
Or are you louder than you should be,
Is noise what you reign on in the rain,
Is this the last time I talk about things
I don’t do.

Tell me,
Body,
Body expand,
Body of land,
Don’t let this body fall apart.

DISconnect

Why is your world so full of empty connections? Or, none whatsoever.  If I lead off this thought assuming no one is connecting with you most would read and agree, then possibly stop reading because what’s so new about that thought? Is this a day before Valentine’s Day post? No, it isn’t.

Full and wholesome talk that starts with and ends with being human. The longer life continues the less and less you care about what you call ‘ petty’ things, and the more you crave real relationship and connection with people. I have had this obsession at the beginning of each year to finish all the books that I started reading the year before. I have had this goal at the start of the year for the past 10 years( at least), and now I have a long list of books that have gone unfinished. I have a pile of unread books, and a larger pile of guilt that sounds like regret for not finishing things I start.

However, when I get down and think about it I discover something I have known for a while..what is more important..the goal itself or the actual information you take with you into the next thing.

I connect with books. I connect with a level of knowledge but it fades away. I don’t repeat lessons learned when I read Wild At Heart in 2004. I find myself trying to remember current books and information.

Is this about books, or about something else? Life is full of unread books and unfinished goals. It is also full of shallow relationships of disconnect. Yet, year after year it piles up. Who knows you( is that a long list), and who doesn’t( a pile of unfinished books).

It can’t all be about everyone knowing you just like it can’t all be about finishing every book you pick up, but finishing something and sticking with it can be the most helpful way to stay healthy.

This is not a sad post on what Valentine’s Day should be about. Really, that is for tomorrow if I decide to write something on love, or the lack thereof. This life is meant for a connection. Raw and real and time to heal, but don’t let it pile up. Don’t let your disconnect pile up. Books can be thrown away and burned and bought again. Books are movies made now like Farenheit 411( and you still get the message) knowledge is power and so is freedom. People are not a pile to hide in the corner, people are asking for some real love, and a real connection.

Flow with me here..is this the start of a lot of thoughts?

The Change

We write our New Year’s resolutions but we had them all along. Each year is progress…

I got a long list rolling around in the back of my mind,
Pulled up to the front,
Burning in a rut,
Stuck on some structure you never gave,
And a new life,
I have to cave,
And go back,
Again,
To hyped up nights on the edge,
To find some lights to follow,
While the dark could swallow.
3 years later, we are still at it,
I mean a longer list that you have made,
At the top was the love that we lost,
And the hype around this thing called
Forever,
I got stuck,
Stuck in different beds
In different nights,
In the same kind of fight.
All I’ve known is the road,
And tires,
And mysteries,
And darkness,
And hotels with no
Windows,
And all the while I was
Caved in..
Not better,
Not worse,
Not the same,
Not the blame.
But now I am different,
Now I am shallow,
Now I am out of the hallow
They name,
And into something else
You claim..
I am into not being the same,
And forever change.
I got a longer list rolling around in my
Mind,
A longer list of all the things that I need
To change.

Starting things to finish

Corner Bakery.

No. That was the last time.

The last time was April.

Why are you finishing things,

Or why not?

Is this is the start of motivation?

Or is new the newest revelation?

Old things like Scripture,

Like worship,

Like the Ancient of Days?

Like words that have no action,

Or actions that have no finishing.

I am not ready to make the explanation,

I am just living in the revelation.

I’m here to worship.

Depraved and soulless,

Or lowest of all..just not in

Your presence.

Are you the starting one?

But You are the finisher?

The author..

You made the time,

And this time will be spent

On starting things,

And rearranging them too.

I am starting something..stirring too..celebrating 11 years solid and true..

Been tossed around and more often than not beaten down too..

By mind, by world, by me, by You, by her, by them,

By all the things that have been started.

This is not finished. It can’t be.

 

Day #44 – Hold One

August 2nd,

Woke up in the aftermath,

In the back from wrath,

In the late night sun

Of things not being won.

Here is a list,

A long one too,

Of all the things you said you were

Going to do..

How can I go far,

And love at it too,

Are you the same,

Are you never tame?

New places I wanted,

You to take me,

But if fear is love then

Then fearful I am.

 

The Leave On

*This is a series..here’s part 3..
Still the strangest of things,
Had to take a break from it.
Living like the upside was never
Down,
Living like you were the one leaving
This town,
Like I packed away that leave on,
You know you got to get on,
Get on your way now.
I was looking for the satisfy,
For the reason why,
For the deeper conversations
We could have had.
I got good,
When it was bad.
I got bad when it could
Have been good,
Showing up later on Ya,
Showing up all showered up.
This is that kind of thing I don’t
Want to write about,
I needed you now
I needed the shout.
I needed this to be all
About that.
I needed you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.
Don’t unplug, you see,
Don’t unplug like that TV.
Don’t start going down,
Like the basement is there.
Like it won’t get far from near.
Get good on me,
Get bad no more,
Can’t break that,
Can’t cap that salary.
Get the leave on,
Or stay stuck here with me.

#29: Digging Again

I really would like to try to explain the meanings behind the last 30 days, but I will say a few themes that have been on my mind that have been expressed in these 60 days.

One theme is working. It is the idea of a right or wrong view of work. When I am talking about the rig and digging and this language of living on a farm it is a combination of the language of scripture and also a reality of life. So many issues that the Millenial’s have is rooted in this notion that working is not a part of life. No one really would ever say that but the forced reality of having to work hard does invade rather then persuade.

When you are forced to grow up you do grow up, but it is not as productive as we would think it would be. However, when vision takes a hold of your life and you gain a YES perspective to life( comes from God) then things start to change.

To the writer’s and the creative people. It is time just to do it. You have your process and you feel like it never stops( lol..me too) but you don’t need to spend more time talking about your desire to write stories or make films; or, do a lot of things that revolve around telling a story that can and will touch those around you.

Digging Again into the vision for your life. 2 Cor. 1:19-22.

19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas[c] and Timothy—was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” 20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

60 Days of Poetry..

Digging Again
Left it at the edge of the driveway
When the sun never did fade away,
When the shade would have stayed longer,
When shorter for the winter would have been much
Better,
The rig called home,
Called a safety zone,
Called none more of trying to
Be known,
Called now or never we will
Live forever,
The better of the endeavor,
The inventor of clever,
The morning by morning of a lover,
Asked for power,
Asked for a better shovel,
For a better way to dig past the
Crap that keeps me from You,
Everything they ever said,
For the reasons why you could
Live dead,
I really do want to live
And it is isn’t a question mark,
But rather a starting stark of
A contrast, of a constant life
Of brightness,
Digging again,
Down deep past everything I have
Ever known,
Do I abide?
Do I really just run and hide?
Wrongly or in His shade,
In His blade of a grass field
I could sit in,
Or is running the best of the slipping
Away life?
Sun has just come up now,
And I am ready for the life of
Light that is my eternal right
Dig again,
To get deep again,
To let everything else fade
That isn’t His shade,
Hide in God,
And dig in, again