Day #16- Traffic

July 5th

Freedom chasing,

Yellow bridges,

Fireworks over,

Freedom rated over.

Died trying to stay up,

Had to ask you,

Will you grow up?

Can I step back and see something new?

Can it be that you want,

You didn’t?

Had a new family to see,

A new angle to see,

A new adventure that led me

Away from the Sea.

Coastal love,

Far from above,

Bites all over this skin,

From running,

And aiming for the win.

I won’t lose at the things you claim,

But I am not a fan of this cynic of a game.

The Leave On

*This is a series..here’s part 3..
Still the strangest of things,
Had to take a break from it.
Living like the upside was never
Down,
Living like you were the one leaving
This town,
Like I packed away that leave on,
You know you got to get on,
Get on your way now.
I was looking for the satisfy,
For the reason why,
For the deeper conversations
We could have had.
I got good,
When it was bad.
I got bad when it could
Have been good,
Showing up later on Ya,
Showing up all showered up.
This is that kind of thing I don’t
Want to write about,
I needed you now
I needed the shout.
I needed this to be all
About that.
I needed you to leave,
I wanted you to stay.
Don’t unplug, you see,
Don’t unplug like that TV.
Don’t start going down,
Like the basement is there.
Like it won’t get far from near.
Get good on me,
Get bad no more,
Can’t break that,
Can’t cap that salary.
Get the leave on,
Or stay stuck here with me.

#29: Digging Again

I really would like to try to explain the meanings behind the last 30 days, but I will say a few themes that have been on my mind that have been expressed in these 60 days.

One theme is working. It is the idea of a right or wrong view of work. When I am talking about the rig and digging and this language of living on a farm it is a combination of the language of scripture and also a reality of life. So many issues that the Millenial’s have is rooted in this notion that working is not a part of life. No one really would ever say that but the forced reality of having to work hard does invade rather then persuade.

When you are forced to grow up you do grow up, but it is not as productive as we would think it would be. However, when vision takes a hold of your life and you gain a YES perspective to life( comes from God) then things start to change.

To the writer’s and the creative people. It is time just to do it. You have your process and you feel like it never stops( lol..me too) but you don’t need to spend more time talking about your desire to write stories or make films; or, do a lot of things that revolve around telling a story that can and will touch those around you.

Digging Again into the vision for your life. 2 Cor. 1:19-22.

19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas[c] and Timothy—was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” 20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

60 Days of Poetry..

Digging Again
Left it at the edge of the driveway
When the sun never did fade away,
When the shade would have stayed longer,
When shorter for the winter would have been much
Better,
The rig called home,
Called a safety zone,
Called none more of trying to
Be known,
Called now or never we will
Live forever,
The better of the endeavor,
The inventor of clever,
The morning by morning of a lover,
Asked for power,
Asked for a better shovel,
For a better way to dig past the
Crap that keeps me from You,
Everything they ever said,
For the reasons why you could
Live dead,
I really do want to live
And it is isn’t a question mark,
But rather a starting stark of
A contrast, of a constant life
Of brightness,
Digging again,
Down deep past everything I have
Ever known,
Do I abide?
Do I really just run and hide?
Wrongly or in His shade,
In His blade of a grass field
I could sit in,
Or is running the best of the slipping
Away life?
Sun has just come up now,
And I am ready for the life of
Light that is my eternal right
Dig again,
To get deep again,
To let everything else fade
That isn’t His shade,
Hide in God,
And dig in, again

 

#14 Good Enough

Are you good enough?
Or are you just not good?
Good news is bad news to the unwise,
Now I’ve spent all my life trying to please you,
To many late nights spent on the hallway
Preparation, on the popular anticipation,
Hooded shirts and shiny shoes,
I’ve spent it all on the color black,
I wish now that I could take all that time back,

On the rig, we were builders of our own dreams,
We were inventors behind the curtains,
We were ineffably uncertain,
We would easily have been shaken
But we were taught not to be,
Not to be, even at all

I was born with a pen in hand,
With all the things I wouldn’t comprehend,
Who ever is good enough?
Sanded sides of you,
Used to give it all up,
Now I am moonlighting as a
Lover, now I am part time romance,
Full time angst,
Full time choler now,
Full time roller now,

On the rig, we had different colors,
Different winters, different Novembers,
Different ways of getting older,
On the rig I had you, I had that shared
Space where we learned about grace,
I had protection,
I had hidden intention from you,
In all my performing for you,
I had a life of getting new,
I had the gig to get ready for,
I had the life of wanting more

I, too, had a rig to live on,
A gig to perform on,
A family of dreamers,
A lifetime of pain to come
Ahead not just for me,
But for anyone looking
To get ahead

Fragile

How fragile I am
In this crevice again
In the heat of the light
I barely seem to see,
how broken it can become
to stay numb at the dawn of
New things
Now I am still lost in these
church seats
Capitol hill stands still
Who can rule?
Who can reign?
Who can take away this
Pain–
Love like this, that kind that
takes over your mind,
That rules that which no one
else can take over–
I have space for someone,
For anyone who can return
And rerun the memories of
what it would never be like
without it–
Worthy is the man that
never did sin,
That never did give in,
That still said it would be
hard,
That felt it for us,
That took it upon Himself,
How fragile He was,
How broken He became,
How insane love is
That even fragile people
like us can carry Him in us–
Fire, flame, burn, burning,
Earning that love can never
Be given but wasting all my time
to get it, well, that is a cost I want
to be willing to–
Fragile is a gift
Poor is more
And that seems to be the
Most important thing right now

I Listen

Deletion from those
Download exceptions,
Texted and invested,
Favoring the words You
Have said, all night was the
Heart rate target, up with the sun
Of the sin to follow in a hollow
Life I was living, I have no
Wineskin, no place to put this
Sin, all those beats that drop,
All those voices that get real close,
I have to delete what could never
Be this present moment,
Freeway addiction,
Tar prediction,
Car syndication to the
Beat of the time
That wastes away at
Me, you are all that embodies
Just empty memories,
Hospital gown, golden crown,
Death in those nails,
Love will cost everything
So now is not the time to waste
What won’t waste if you listen,
If you pay attention,
I listen, love is the final
Fight, engage with it,
Do not quit

Tragedy

A car to get to you
A freeway adventure
A new golden denture
A new smile from the deeper
Parts of you, that life you have
Lived and given back to be
Forgiven,
I am a lover, I am a fighter
I am the inheritor, walls from
A child like me that lived
To entertain the crowd that has
Walked real loud,
I am making a noise,
Losing my poise,
I am always afraid of
The beauty You display,
Creation in Your grip,
You took it, better than a
Caped crusader, voice like
Darth Vadar,
Only one risen has risen
Out for me,
Death to the hell that follows
A life giver like the one you
Made me to be,
Too much medicine
Has coaxed the lesion
Upon these sleeves,
Pain is wonderful, the hurt
As a counselor,
The hope of the comforter,
It’s Your smell I can’t
Get rid of,
Tragedy is living for death
When life is taking place,
One love is the love You
Offer, perfect father