This is a reflection on getting older(my bday is tommorrow!) and the desire to embrace all that comes with growing up in God and in life. This truly has been a trying year but God has received all the praise. For He has not pulled me out, He has pulled me through.

Kenosis is the prognosis

Empty is the tray that goes

My way—eating weakness and

Feasting on brokenness,

Death is a faded memory

One seen at Calvary

One that changes Gravity.

To me I live, but for Him

I shall give all of my heart,

Older now I am getting,

Pages of time are turning

In perfect rhyme, ocean

Scenes are fading with

The sand beneath me,

Aging it seems is no

Longer in dreams and

Unseen images of

Episodes that can’t

Be replayed, rather

Remade we become

When death is numb

To the victory that lives

In me, all these years have

Passed without a resurrection

At last, years of walking the

Hallways with no lights and

No brights to walk on, now

I want an eschaton—one with

Tribulation and no early departure

From the coming corruption,

Let me stay Lord in the midst

Of the suffering and the pain,

Let me lay in this kind of rain

For what I know as I grow is

That the hardest most hurtful

Moments have added up into

A lifetime of not quitting, and

For that I war on the grumbling

I ask for the rumbling of that

That is Holy and true, all that

Keeps me in this fight, all that

Might hold me awake at night,

Getting older will be better

As I get closer to being with



Thoughts are pouring
Not a mormon but as
White as the shirts and skirts
They wear, you do swear
That you never held back
When I asked you to
Live and live fully inside of

Your life sits at a distance
With much resistance to
My line of sight and my
Samsonite sits real tight
Tucked away ready for a
Getaway with you,
Anyplace, anyday,
Anything you do or say
Will be used against love
And its enemy,

Pictures shine bright with
After effects and bright
Lights are ahead for living
Empty is as good as being
Dead, clicking and moving
Along will keep me strong
When the time comes to not
Leave ever again

Nearness Lord,
Nearness is good

Fallen Memories

Midnight came that night
And took me away, away with
The times I had never looked
Back, now the pages are
Being written of those
Midnight menories and
The stories of winning you

Winter came and laid
Claim to not living tame
Or held back, love was the
Trace, hunger the space,
Hunger the place to stay,
Cold freezing night it was
When you stayed honest,
And told me to accept
The adolescent pain of
Trying to grow up,
Tied and lied down to
The pavement, looking for

Pain it feels and reels back
I feel the lack and want
To end this rhyme with
Due time, I embrace the
Fallen memories


Left it on the driveway
That was the getaway
Punchline came anyway
Summer was never a forever
Endeavor, home life was
Turbulence, school a four
Letter exit stamp, every soul
Wanted the most control,

Driveway did stay in my mind,
All that wasted time, winter the
Crime, all my energy spent
On making the seasons mean
Something to you, bow down
He does ask, why can’t I just
Relax, breaking and doing it
Badly sadly I do ask I have
Been trying to live safe and
That driveway took all day to
Get over as I tried to stand
A man,

Safe you say is not good,
But good He is in all my
Driveway pain and the rain
That comes with it,

I submit and give you
More of me in the time
Of the smallest seconds
I have added up for you
May I not drive you away
May you come and stay
Within me

Temple Days

Reflecting on Kansas City. Grateful for the years I spent there.

Temple days,
Want your gaze,
Want to amaze in
The ways of your grace,
Years its been of looking
Within and eyes on Him,
Pacing I did to remain
Steady and true, but now
A new wide eyed view,

The temple has been removed,
And I am just left with my heart
And soul and to you I
Lift my gaze of the temple
Days and let you love
Me the way I was made

For on the seconds on the
Clock so am I adding up
The time I spend and
Expend on you,
Let it increase as my
Days increase

Book Review: Spirit Of Python By Jentezen Franklin

I said it a few weeks ago, and how time is going so fast, but yes, book and movie/tv show reviews…

In the past 5 months I have consumed more books then I have read in the past 3 -4 years combined. I am not boasting that that is awesome, just that, well, it feels good to be able to say that. The reading is moving at a fast pace. This past week I read Velvet Elvis and Love Wins, both by Rob Bell. And this is the first time I have ever read any Rob Bell. Followed by Spirit Wars by Kris Valloton and I am almost finished with Covenant With My Eyes by Bob Sorge. The subjects are on purpose and well, I will save these reviews for later in this week and month..

I have been going to Free Chapel off and on since January and in September pastor Franklin released this book, Spirit Of Python. In step with a series on it as well. I have not heard

But I think it is also valuable to read and read and discern the good and the not so good and the stuff you don’t need to take away/ the stuff you need to take away from reading something. I am not the biggest fan of books on Spiritual Warfare. Now, I have not read that many, so maybe reading more would help. But I want to start the book reviews with Spiritual Warfare as the subject because I think as long as the focus is Christ in the end, then we are okay. I do believe that battle to be real, and real wisdom and understanding is needed in the daily fight but in my charasmata upbringing I have seen Christians overdo the warfare points and exaggerate problems with demonizing what needs to not be labeled that way. This books contributes to much-needed wisdom and speaks with wisdom but not all warfare books do that, so something for me to study more on and talk about on this blog, and something for us to seek wisdom about as believers.

The source of the python from the word of God:


Acts 16:16 And it came to pass in our going on to prayer, a certain
maid, having a spirit of python, did meet us, who brought much
employment to her masters by soothsaying—YLT

Overview of Spirit Of Python:

Product overview:   Recognize the early warning signs that you are under attack, Find the ways you may have unknowingly given him access into your home. Bring God’s deliverance and restoration into every area of your life–from product description–

“ if Satan can’t stop you from receiving Christ as your savior, then
hell has a plan B: to make you a miserable Christian.”

There are five main attacks of the Enemy/ five strategies:
1.Chocking your breath

‘it chokes and suffocates its prey until the air is expunged from the
prey’s lungs.”

“God’s word brings life to your spirit when you begin to partake of
it, its like breathing in the breath of God.”- 78-79
Read the word-inhale
Having intimacy desire, discipline, delight
2.Silencing your voice

“ Christianity has become their second language, and the culture of
our time is their first language.”
-mouth is our greatest weapon-

Mark 9:23 All things are possible to him who believes.” Math. 9:29
According to your faith let it be to you.”

“When you speak in faith, wanting that mountain to move and believing
God will back your faith, it will crumble.”-

3.Stopping your praise

Praise with music, with instruments through dance
‘praise is not based on who he is.’
“constant private worship equals powerful public worship”-

4.Limiting your life
5.Fatal distractions

5 To Do’s In The Attack

1.      The power of prayer
2.      The power of faith
3.      The power of praise
4.      The armor of God
5.      Cancel the devil’s assignment

5(more like 7) signs you are under a spirit attack
1.      Loss of spiritual desire
2.      Physical fatigue
3.      Lack attack resources dry up
4.      Weak prayer life
5.      Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless
6.      Old habits and lifestyles resurface
7.      Pulling away from Godly relationships

5 Do nots to break the enemies attack
1.      Do not forget who made you
2.      Do not forsake the time and place of prayer
3.      Do not forsake the place of power—ps. 20:1-2-may he send you help
from the sanctuary
4.      Do not forsake the power of partnership—eccl. 4:9-10 “ Two are
better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For
if they fall one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is
alone when he falls, for he has no one left to help him up.”
5.      I must have missed this but he talks about Jesus being the good shepherd.“ The shepherds staff had a hook for pulling a lamb out of danger. His
rod was used as a weapon against predators.”

Other Informative Points

“Different types of demons
If a demonic spirit is going to manifest, it will happen because
somebody allowed it and created an atmosphere.When we rebel, when we sin, when we follow our fleshly desires rather
than the Holy Spirit, we empower the kingdom of darkness.
Conforming your life to the word.”

Porn Stats on Page 62
1.      Every second 3,075.64 is being spent on Porn
2.      Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing porn
3.      In that same second 372 internet users are typing adult search
terms into search engines
4.      Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the
United States

Other Quotes
“The prevalence of the internet only increases the
bombardment of our eyes, ears and thoughts with lewdness and iniquity.”
“ As I mentioned previously when discussing tormenting and vexing
spirits, deep depression, despondency, and suicidal tendencies can
also be signs of demonic attack.”
Can also be chemical imbalances

We don’t cast out devils Luke 4:18 and Eph. 6:12
” a demons level of authority to operate is based upon the darkness
in a person’s life.”

“We are not, as the end-time church, supposed to stay in a defensive
mode, beaten up by the enemy as we try to barely make it through the
trials of life. Enough of the “demon”-strations; it is time for a
clear demonstration of God’s anointing in the life of the believer
that shakes the gates of hell off their hinges.”

Here is what I got out of this book. Know the word. Stay in Prayer. Live a lifestyle that is on the offensive instead of letting yourself be on the defensive.  Our warfare has to do with the levels that we are presently at and where we are going. The enemy is always going to come in with resistance no matter who we are. I gain from this book that I need to know Jesus and know His power and experience it in my life, and that is going to enable me to engage in “warfare.”
Knowing Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit, this is our weapon, this is our strategy. That is what I will add to the lessons learned in reading this book. Let us have more of that in our lives.

The Journey

I had a fight with resistance and darkness but it did not win.

Gravity fell that November day
I was far from sunny L.A.
The world weighed down
Heavy on me, anxiety did take
A hold of me

The doors of death flew wide
Open, the curse of it was spoken;
For months disaster was my
Master and guided me down
A darkened path

Heavy feelings reached to the
Ceiling, soon to crash and fall
On me, clutter taking up free
Time, friends did leave to the
East, transition an untamed beast,

For in the dark there was
No spark and no skyline to

It was like sitting on the shoreline
Watching waves crash on the
Sand, trying to resist them
From crashing over me

Head to head with the spirit
Of dead, it fought and sought
To take me out

But the grave let out a shout
And Christ the king was let out

The stone rolled away
And life came to stay

Dark was overpowered by the
Light, He came to rescue me
In the night

The blood that spilled
Was that that killed
The suffering of the
Human head, for those
That wish me dead

As the disease He went
Down, as the cure He rose up

As a man I will be tempted to
Control gravity, tempted to be
In control of my own soul

To live is to receive truth that
Death cannot suceed

I am still in recovery
Learning this discovery
I was made to win and
To overcome


This is a mix of multiple relationships and a longing to understand love.

It was always pouring
And never boring, how
You froze me with those
Winter nights and fights
Within came again, the flame
Within, those double doors
Again, the pain of a friend, the
Death of a lover, downtown
Was a frown and a scar on
My sleeve,

A new season later came
And there was your name,
Bright eyed and wondering
Did I go wandering and
Thundering came as you
Stood pondering the things
I never did say and the bombs

Rolled out were my thoughts
In the open I chose to live,
I chose to be not spoken,
For in those moments I
Wanted your heart to be
Double doors

And pouring I might always
Be, waiting in the rain for
At least a good-bye and an
Answer why, for thunder
I hide under waiting for
You to utter, I cannot name
The animals much longer,
Wild they are and untamed
I am, safety is a sin that sinks
Man in, for you risk is
Needed and waiting while
It pours is worthwhile,
So I will wait and just get
Better as I get older