Numbers On

Getting longer,

Those times spent with you,

Bending the rules,

Doing all of that for you.

Breaking the past,

Making this last,

Counting the number of numbers I have

For you,

All the times I have backed out,

And let you in,

All the messages you left,

And Sundays you dismissed.

Used to hate Football,

And the break,

And the half,

And its coming at last,

And you’re gonna wait around for it,

Just like me..

But my decisions are based in your math,

Are you gonna take me back,

Are you gonna take the wrath?

Numbers are on,

And You were the count on,

The one I called upon.

Those 5 were never short of breathless,

Those 10 had it in,

I gave it a decade since you showed me the


Now I got a lot of pills still stored away,

Numbers you never knew about,

Half time show for ya,

Half my time, I feel I am giving to


More is yet to come,

But less is not good enough,

Less is not the number I want on.


All Deliberate Speed: Sunny Side Up

All Deliberate Speed is my category for poems about running and training for the Marathon I am running in May. Here’s a poem from today’s beach run.

Sunny Side Up


Heart beating steadily

As I crunch the sand with

My shoes, like searching

For clues on a treasure



I prepare to stare

Straight at the compass

In my head, trespass

The areas of sandy shores

Where I can stand up

And conquer the world,

As waves roar against

the adamantine rock

and the crystalline water

I breath in the work of the Father.


My breathing increasing

Careening between toddlers

With sand buckets

As I keep running and

Truck myself along.

The shuffle moves

To the next song


Petite children falling carelessly

 Into the wet cement of sand

 Underneath them, nothing

 taking there freedom


Slogging it past strands beach

Clasping my hands, I reach

As I feel the pressure

Mount over my shoulder

This race is not over.


Frisbee discs and

Family pics and foam

Flips from surfer to surfer

Its perfect weather.


As I deviate from

The shore I anticipate

The arduous push up

The steep hill, I feel

Like I am training to kill

The elements of gravity

And all deliberate speed

Playing inside of me


There will come a day

And there will come a time

When you will run

26 times over and over

Like the ocean surf

You will conquer—earth.

Running Versus Running

As I have been conditioning myself for the big races I have learned two things.

Thing #1: Running on a treadmill is good but not like running outdoors. Treadmill you can just hit stop and be done and feel like you ran hard and far buts hard to feel the power of you run because you stay in the same place for however long you run. See what I mean?

Thing #2: Running outdoors is not the same thing as running on a treadmill. Outdoors is real and rough ground and gravel and rain and scattered leaves on the ground. Its more real. The sun or the clouds hovering over you. The inhale of God’s atmossphere. And maybe the occasional akward stare from someone in their car.

Thing #3 (just added a third thing for fun): Thing one and two could have been one sentence and not just two individual things.

Anyhew, its Christmas and I am loving it!

I told you I’d give you the play by play, although once I leave this computer I don’t know if I will find another one so this just might be it.

Sanctification and Marathonafication

I have kind of sort of mentioned that I am training for a marathon right now. Just to clarify and reiterate,YES, I am training for two marathons. The first, a half(13 miles) marathon set for February first. I am apart of the OC Runners club, which just means I am actually in a club. Ahhh, finally, I have been waiting for some kind of club initiation to take place in my life (so, let me know if you have a club I can join).

Then following the half is the full, official, real -deal- 26- sweaty -mile Marathon. This will be in May. The process of training for a marathon makes me think of God’s sanctification process for His children. When we come to Christ we have that one time salvation experience but continuing and walking out His ways and commandments is a daily process(sanctification) like running and training for endurance. And endurance takes much time and experience.

In our walk with God, becoming Holy as He is Holy, is definitely a process and more so than just 26 miles; its until we meet Him. God doesn’t demand that we do everything perfectly but He does set the standard; its Him.

So, clinging to His mercy and boasting in His grace causes us to bear the fruit of love and spread the sweet aroma of Christ, as Paul says. It really is just one day at time of looking to Christ to make us like Him.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

When The Sun Is Beaming,Its Time For Running

I woke up today with a  few seemingly ambitious goals. The usual run a little and read a little.  Since I have been training for this marathon I haven’t  been running outside, I have only been using the treadmill. I hit the treadmill hard with a short but fast 3 mile run. Then I went on a walk with my mom overlooking the ocean tide and the clear blue sky and the sun in our faces.

Silence is the never a burden when the nature of God’s creation is begging you for attention. That was most of the walk, just not talking and listening to creation.

After taking in some deep breaths I decided to scratch the goals; I want to run in this goodness.

As the sun was on its way down I ran coast to coast at Salt Creek Beach. Sore. Tired. And pushing myself like a champion the pain in my legs just seemed to not matter in light of the experience.

I am now in relax and write mode reflecting on my run just two hours ago and also finding empathy in my heart for all my friends in Kansas City who are probably freezing their booties off right now, its 7 degrees. And yes, I just said ‘booties.’

The Father Loves the Son

Mathew 11:27 says, “..No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son…”

 The other day I was toward the end of my run on the treadmill and this father came into the weight room with his son. As the father began his workout his son, with the cutest little grin on his face; started running around the weight room. By the look on the son’s face I could tell he loved his father so much and wanted to do whatever it took to get his father’s attention. As I finished my run I went over to the weight rack and grabbed some weights and did a couple of workouts on the bench. As I was catching my breath between reps I saw the little son grab some five pound weights and imitate me.


For a moment I thought, ‘this little guy wants to be like me, I must be way cool to him.’ After basking in my own glory for a few moments I stopped and realized that the little son was lifting those weights to impress his father; not me.


It was such a good picture of how we ought to be with our Father God. We don’t need to earn anything from Him, or even strive for Him to notice us; because He already does. But we want to see the look on His face when He looks at us with His perfect love.


As I have been writing some poems recently, I wrote this poem about what I experienced the other day.


He wanted the Father to

Watch Him, affirm Him,

Show Him that He can—that He

Is a man. Son, put down the weights,

I understand.

The Father loves the Son, and the son loves the Father, and together they wrap around us like warm weather.

 Safe from harm, I grab your arm, you pull me out of me

And let these eyes see infinite mercy. I am not worthy,

 I don’t fit the bill, you say be still, just sit in who I am.


 Let us remember that we have a wonderful and glorious Heavenly Father!










No Pain, No Gain

I used to own this shirt when I was 10 years old that said, “No Pain, No Gain” on the back of it. On the front of the shirt was a picture of Jesus dying of the cross.

Today, I am doing Hebrews 12:1-2 (exercise wise)  and pressing forward, casting off all the restraints and exercising my but off to get in great shape. So far this week I have ran 15 miles. For me, that hasn’t happened since track and field in seventh grade.

I have been given a half and full marathon challenge by my brother-in-law Scott. My sister and him have been running hardcore for the past year or so, and they love it. Since I am more of a hockey player running has never had a lot of appeal but now I look at training for marathons as conditioning for hockey.

Today’s exercise: 4 miles on the treadmill(maybe 5 if I push it) but wanna save energy to roller blade to the beach(just bought 8 new wheels and bearings for my blades) soak up the sun and read the word or the Shack. And finally, to end the day do sprints up this huge grassy field overlooking the ocean. O, yeah, then roller blade back home.

You better hold me to it.

I’ll let you know how it does.

Herm the werm digging victory holes in the dirt

Around the round table I hear these gleeful eruptions of joy…..”Tyler Thigpen is my hero!….I love this town…we don’t suck anymore….Herm Edwards is having a career saving game…” And so on. All because the Kansas City Chiefs’ quaterbacks have been injured and have been left with no choice but to put in Tyler Thigpen, a 4th stringer with not much experience. I am watching the Chiefs tear it up right now versus the Buccaneers and all because of Thigpen

I might not win my fantasy football game this week but I sure as heck can proudly wear my KC Chiefs winter jacket that I’ve had since I was 12. And please don’t make fun of me this week for shining the winning brightness of its colors at you as I walk by you this week.

Written from 810 Sports Zone at 1:49 pm. Its the start of the 3rd quater, Chiefs are up 24-13

Champion of the World

This was filmed after the championship game. Its just me telling the world why I was able to win the championship. I may sound a little one dimensional and focus solely on what I brought to the team but in all actuality it was a team effort. This was just for fun. Enjoy!

The Game of the Year

Some of you may have seen the Playoff Game #1 video, if you haven’t I encourage you to check it out. Game #1 of the playoffs was a sheer blowout. There wasn’t really much to fight through in that game. I was impressed that we skated the way that we did and came out on top.

Last night’s game however was a completely different story. This past week I have been roller blading, not just because my car died but mostly to be ready for game time. My strength with playing hockey has always been my skating and my speed. I am not much of a goal scorer but mostly a very aggressive fore-checker. In order for my skating to work for me I must be in shape. This is something that I have been lacking. So, all week I have been conditioning for this playoff game knowing that if we loose this game its all over and there will be no shot at the championship.

We came out buzzing during the first period. The first goal in was from us then something dramatically shifted in the game. They scored three goals and left us behind two goals for two periods of the game. The start of the third period came rolling around and I was thinking to myself, “I hate loosing, there is no way we are going down this way.” We are a winning team. 11-1 throughout the regular season, we cannot go down without a fight. And within the last five minutes of the game we scored four goals. Bengi scored to tie the game at 3. And a winger on the team named Rick put away two goals.

I would have to say that what inspired me to skate hard was my fan club that decided to show up. Cara, Katie, Sarah, Brooke, Kristen and Jen Mcarthur (she’s The Ruckus Journal’s biggest fan). Looking up in the stands and knowing that I had some fans certainly was a motivator to not loose. Thank you ladies for helping us win the game.

We are going to the championship. This Sunday the 24th at 6pm we play the Norsemen. If we win this game then we are the official winners of the summer season of C league hockey at the Pepsi Ice Midwest. Hope to see you there, if you can make it.