I, Too * 12 Hours Later..

January 30th from 12pm to 12am. 12 hours of reflection.
Building something,
Something from the start of today,
Waking up and running as fast as I can,
3 miles and counting.
Calling mom on updates and
Such, asking for revelation,
Then it comes to me,
All the great things came in the
Waiting, in the stillness, in the
Wilderness, in the suffering,
In the greatness of what we have
Been looking for all along.
Yes, I too, have suffered,
And suffered recently.
Been up all night wondering
About the fight and the fists and
The things that are called future.
Yet, this is the invitation,
I am not sold or solid,
Not shaken either,
But moved around and tossed
To and fro,
Asking You: how does one grow?
He says wait for the lights and ask
Not for the blinders,
My eyes did wander
And look a little to long,
Starbucks, again, I thought
You were over that flavor,
But to the corner of that place
Was someone standing out of place.
The looked as if they have been to
The blue car before,
They asked for more,
Yes, I too give in to seduction.
I ran away and walked along the way,
I filmed and captured my self by the
Sea and the tilt of the lights that spin
Before night,
I, too, lose the dusk,
So fast and quick it does go..
I drove and drove and yet those
City lights were on my left and
You voice was the loudest of them
Are we talking the same,
Are you the same?
Are we the same struggle?
Home came late and so did that text,
It invited me in and crunched the numbers,
This will cost just like the last time, and
The tenth time before that.
I want love and the last long,
And the love that lasts long,
But, I, too want the bed you made,
And the mess you make,
And the mistake that came with
Saying go instead of no!
I, too, am up late,
Because the day torments me too,
It calls me too, it calls for change,
A serious rearrange.
A serious move everything around kind
Of winter,
One, where, I, too am cold and hardened
By the wind,
And by the sound that calls me

“I really don’t want to go to jail,” says Jared

Recently, I watched The Shawshank Redemption. This movie has been on my “movies I want-to-see list” for a long time. It was one of best movies I’ve ever seen. I felt as if I wasn’t watching actors putting on a performance but rather I was in the jail cell with them. It wasn’t so much the great escape by the main character Andy that captivated my attention, it was more the sheer thought of all the time spent behind bars. I couldn’t help but wonder: what would it be like to spend time behind bars?

I happened to watch this movie at a significant time in my life considering my current circumstance. Now before you think I am about tell you that I committed some heinous crime and this blog post is my confessional to the world and my attempt to plead guilty and turn myself in; please, relax.

Continue reading ““I really don’t want to go to jail,” says Jared”

Audacious travel goals(leaving for Cali. in 8 hours)

I will pick up the Easter discussion next week.

Two months ago I went home and visited my family for the first time in seven months. Visiting family can mean a plethora of things for people, for me it is always exciting. Read here.

I plan on not blogging for five days, so I might just write like a camel and give you a verbose post in order to make up for five days of not writing. A Camel stores up water for weeks and months at a time in order to survive the rigors of the blistering hot deserts. Humans can only go three days without water before death seems like a convenient option. Humans also can go millions of days without reading The Ruckus Journal, but it helps me to imagine millions of people desperately clamoring for Ruckus news and “pearls of wisdom.”

Average Diehl Family reunion looks like(from Journal)

“Obscure interjections at the dinner table that we all make at each other every 30 seconds. We(especially me) as a family have the “gift of interruption.” I think I have grown in this area since I have been away for almost three years but every time I go home I see my lack of growth in interrupting others. On the flip-side it is family and fighting each other with words that is apart of the ruckus, its apart of growing. The more I open up to my family the more I can trust that they will trust my idiosyncrasies and all the things they don’t see each day in KC.”

Family has the “gift of discernment.” Whether you call that term a biblical one or not, family sees right through your lying tendencies. If Jared is lying to Alyssa than mom just knows it. If dad is exaggerating to all of us his next ambition in life we all know it. If mom sings a song and thinks she can sing than we all just tell her she can’t sing, but she can do a multitude of other wonderful things. If Jared still thinks he is going to model for Abecrombie than mom, dad and sister all agree that those guys in the posters actually exercise, so Jared is disqualified.

Continue reading “Audacious travel goals(leaving for Cali. in 8 hours)”

Get out of your seats and worship

I delivered this word my senior year of high school at Saturday Night service(Rez) in the main service.

Daily Time April 4, 2004(journal entry)

My word on Saturday night, “Don’t hold back because of this setting, it is a lie that is spoken over this time and this moment that the devil wants to steal everything in this time.”

I went from having a very obedient to the Lord, knowledge gaining weekend to feeling stressed to happy, to sick of my situation(s) that I have to deal with all the time, the stuff that makes me so angry some times, but yet it seems to mean little.

What keeps distracting us, it is the things that we are afraid to let go of.

That is it that has been the battle, I have tried to still my heart, and I feel as if it isn’t working sometimes. Teach me to obey.

Here I am three years later and I am still stirred with giving words like this.

I remembered being so scared to speak to the masses(1,000 or so people). It was only a matter of time before I would tell Kathy Melson(Chris’s mom) that I have a word for the church.

My palms were sweaty and my demeanor had fear written all over it. I SPOKE and then I wasn’t afraid anymore.

The conclusion: eternity is all we have so why would we waste our lives wasting time during worship services.

April 4, 2007: This word is still ringing in my ears.


Ruckus Journal history book facts

Jen has posed the question, “What is the Ruckus journal all about?”

The first blog I posted on this site was called ‘why is it called the Ruckus Journal’ and somewhere in that wordy post I give the reader some answers

Fact and Term to be aware of: ORIGINAL RUCKUS

I use the term original Ruckus referring to when I was 15 years old and the idea to start the Ruckus journal began.

McCrew– My crew of friends from Fort Collins, Colorado and Resurrection Fellowship(Loveland, Colorado)

The McCrew and original Ruckus is where my idea for ‘The Ruckus Journal’ started.

The summer of 2001: AJ(also known as Aaron Hupp, Aaron Joseph), his younger brother Isaiah Hupp and my friend Andy Schliger all got summer jobs at the local McDonald’s.

In Fact it was around this time 6 years ago, April 8, 2001 was the day I got hired. I remember it was close to Easter and I was playing Lacrosse for my school at the time.

I was the first person in the Crew(Forerunner) to get hired at McDonald’s, then Andy and Isaiah followed. A few months later we convinced AJ to quit his job at the movie theatre and join us.

Myself and Andy were 15, Isaiah was 14 and AJ was 16. These age differences made for many laughs while the corporate people dished out the worst jobs for the 14 year olds and the even grosser jobs for the 16 year olds.

We had all known each other through youth group but we didn’t really mesh together until that summer.

The Summer of Ruckus: this is another name for that season. The birth of causing a great disturbance.

We would do everything together. Of course, what else are you going to do when you are all crazy.


The noun form Ruckus means: great disturbance and noisy commotion.

The McCrew had language(just as me and Z have language, and just as you and your crew of friends have language)

We would say to each other ‘lets go Ruckus!’ That always meant get in trouble on purpose.

The plethora of getting in trouble stories is documented in the ORIGINAL RUCKUS JOURNAL.

I was the stenographer of the group. AJ was the Actor. Chris was full of brilliant one-liners and witticisms to document. Isaiah was in touch with the Holy Spirit and would always calm all of us down, especially his big brother AJ and Jared Diehl(he is always crazy).

Chris was apart of the crew but not McCrew. Chris Melson is the smartest kid I know and was always fun to ride with. Chris was the driver of the group. If you needed a driver(person to drive us around) then he was your man. Chris was hesitant at first about RUCKUS but AJ and I could talk anyone into doing anything.(which is still true today)

The epiphany moment: the summer of Ruckus season #1(another term) came to an end and school was in session for all of us. I missed my friends already but was glad that McDonald’s was over.

AJ and I were walking and talking at the mall and ironically enough I had smoked pot for the first time that weekend(not with the crew, with some other hoodlums).

I regretted getting high for a billion reasons. I am the kind of the person that doesn’t need drugs. Drugs slow me down. I Ruckus without drugs, so drugs just make things worse.

I was walking and talking with AJ about life and we were joking about one day getting high together and the Holy Spirit moved on me(thanks for praying mom) and I told AJ what I had done.

AJ looked at me like a best friend would and said, ‘that’s bad, you really shouldn’t have done that.’ I was thinking AJ was going to let me get away with it, but my friends, my ‘real friends’, they stick to me closer than a brother.

It was this very day that I repented for smoking drugs and the idea to document the summer of Ruckus began.

I spent the three hours we had left together talking about every story that had already taken place with us. AJ and I worked really well together. My detailed brain and his emotion and exaggeration enabled me to remember everything the ‘McCrew’  had already done.

In this time of talking about the Summer of Ruckus we also highlighted other stories from our youth group.

And yes indeed I am still writing, just with a new GREAT DISTURBANCE in mind.


Meek Ruckus

Meek means: “hold me back from blowing up because I have so much power I don’t really know what to do with it.”

That is not what the dictionary says, that is what I say.

Meek in the theological bible of truth: Jesus is God. Jesus knows He is God. Jesus knows who He is. Jesus had perfect timing. Jesus knew when to roar and when to be silent.

LIONS are vicious, they are violent and tenacious.LIONS know how to attack the prey and how to stab the enemy in the heart. LIONS are loud and they can echo there roar so the whole world knows they are around.

LIONS also know when to go to sleep and rest and wait for the next morning. The next morning is when they might have to fight the enemy.

Jared is wanting to prowl like a lion. Jared is a lion. Jared is five feet and some inches tall.

Jared is who you are talking to when you read this.

The secular music ruckus says: try to be tough and strong and loud when really you are broken on the inside.

The emotional scene and people that love to sing about the wrong ruckus: bands like Taking Back Sunday who have only one thing right about the title of there band, they use the word ‘Sunday.’ They try to be tough because they are from LONG ISLAND and LONG ISLAND means nothing when you stand before the LORD.

I happen to like TBS, but they are out of control with their roaring. They are misguided in their RUCKUS.

April 1, 2006
I wrote in a big book that is covered up by some more books: “April Fools Jared Diehl, you are not who you think you are.”

Don’t guess why, tell yourself this: “He is trying to find God to, so He is probably was just messing around with the play on words of the holiday.”

THEN a year later happens: April 1, 2007 and I am still trying to find myself in God and in life and in the ruckus.

THE END: Life will never end. Life will never end for all of us. Life will stop and start. Life is Ruckus.

I am tired and excited about ruckus. This is why you read. If not then why are clicking Jared Diehl on the internet.

Sorry Jen if my comment on your comment was a little intense. I hope you trust ‘the ruckus’, just call Zack if you have questions.