Mucho Cansado(means tired much)

Yep. I know more than one language thanks to Miss Tappendorf’s Spanish class at Rocky Mountain.

I was thinking about pondering more on MySpace. I am not really trying to prove any points, except for the fact that I think MySpace is the devil, other than that I really want to see what people out there are thinking. I feel I don’t have an adequate amount of brain power to type more thoughts or read comments.

I almost overslept today. Almost means I was 10-15 minutes late for Sliker’s class. I was thinking he was going to reprimand me in front of everyone for my tardiness, nope he just kept teaching.

We talked about demons and judgment and blood and hail(book of Revelation). Yep. This is my life. Glory.

So, pray that I sleep more tonight(most likely while you are up and living in reality I will be sleeping(6am-2pm).

That’s all. And check how

pulchritudinous I am: here.

For such a time as this

Fall 2004 was a consecrated and appointed time in the eyes of heaven for us all to be apart of the house of prayer. At the very end of the track Stuart told us all that he calls us the Esther 4:14 track. Esther 4:14 refers to Esther delivering her people and they say ,‘who knows, maybe you have been sent here for such a time as this.’ The other phrase gave us was ‘we refuse to be held back by our past.’

Reflecting on the power of these words it makes more sense to me now. God brought all of us to Kansas City for such a time as this in history(the world and prophetic history). I know for myself I never would’ve guessed it that I would end up in KC. Out of the 40 people in my track, 10 of us are still here doing the NW. For the past 2 and a half years we have all doubted and squirmed at what God has called us to(not all the time, but many times faced with wanting to give up), but by His grace and power, we are still running hard.

Everyone has a story to tell and a past full of mistakes, successes, and failures. The zeal and tenacity that we had for God, I think, was because we did not allow our mistakes and pain (sin or sinned against) to hinder us from encountering God in the present.

For such a time as this he has called us, marked us, set us apart. I am grateful for my track one and I will always remember this track as the explosion on the inside. My heart overflows with exuberant joy at the 40 men and women that I got to run with. Grace and Peace to you all, hope you are still running hard.

Spike and Ratchet: Remembering Nick and Jared

Many explosions and awakenings took place in my heart during FITN. As explained earlier the joyful rain dance was just one manifestation of the Joy that I experienced.

The other dynamic to the explosion was the relationships that I formed with my roommates. I love them all so much(J. Styles, Ben, Michael, Tre, and especially Nick B.) I formed everlasting and indelible relationships with these people.

My favorite person of my track one became Nick Beaver. Me and Nick spent the most time together. We would challenge each other in the PR and with bible study then when 6:05am rolled around we were lost in our own little world. I became Spike and he became Ratchet. We played these characters and cracked ourselves up without really caring if people liked our humor.

Spike was a car mechanic and die hard Creed fan. Ratchet was dumb and ignorant and laughed hysterically at everything(if you’ve heard Nick’s laugh you know what I mean). Together we were in this world and out of it we managed to gain six-packs from laughing so hard.

I attribute the joy that I felt with Nick to the Joy that I was feeling in the prayer room. The more I entered into God’s love for me the more joy I found in my relationships. This may be the reason why it took me so long to fall asleep each night???

Blessings and grace to Nick and his new bride, they were married March 10, 2007.

The joyful rain dance

After exploding and brainwashing myself into believing that I was in the ‘apostate’ category I calmed down and gained further insight into what was going on in my heart.

The beauty of the program was that most of your time was God scheduled events: sit in the prayer room, pray, read your bible, talk about God, exc. Each day felt like a month worth of youth group and Sunday morning sermons. Fire in the night was a constant weekend retreat minus the weekend.

One area that I exploded in was the area of dancing. Not a shindig, disco party or hoedown but dancing before God my Father. I grew up very familiar with dancing in church(Rez worship was da bomb) but a new dance and a new song gushed forth from my insides night after night.

It was about a month into the track before the dance began. I would sometimes spend the 2-4am set, which means you read and meditate, dancing behind the sound booth. I adopted this dance style that looked somewhat Native American, although that is not my ethnicity, I would flop my arms and kick my legs like I wanted it to rain.

Looking back on numerous nights of dancing before the Lord I realize that those dances were the external expression of the explosion I was perceiving on the inside of my soul. I was experiencing ‘freedom’ and ‘The Joy of the Lord.’ Both things I had heard before but was now experiencing.

The funny thing was that there were a handful of moments where all 40 people in my track danced as a group, creating the dance caravan around the prayer room, preparing it for the 6am shift.

The first day of fire in the night

Disregard the last post- ‘praying on the mic 2004’- I was trying to post a picture and it didn’t work.

Like I said yesterday ‘I exploded, I saw the light.’ My summer of darkness(not Demon Hunter or some Satanic cult) came to an end. My first memories upon stepping foot in KC was meeting the amazing people that I met.

The track(3 month intensive) began on September 4, 2004. I flew in with my beautiful mommy. My parents were strong proponents of me praying all night for three months. We got picked up at the airport from some Californian worship guy, he was extremely happy(maybe because they paid him).

I arrived at the Herrenhut clubhouse and the first people I met were Kyle, Emily and my roommate Ben, who became known as ‘dancing Ben’ or ‘shoeless Ben.’ Kyle had long hair and a beard and he told my mom she was an ‘Anna.’ The first veracious statement that Kyle made to me was: sing the word. I later found out the blessedness of what he was saying.

After talking with Kyle and meeting Benjamin I strutted my stuff, meaning, I flexed my chest muscles and smiled to much. I saw the famous Emily Russell sitting on the bench. She was shorter than everyone and was wearing flip flops(which knowing Emily she probably still owns). I was overly self confident, and especially because I was 18 talking to an older women. I immediately told my life story without giving her a chance to talk.

I later became friends with these people and many others. It is always funny to reminisce on your first impressions and interactions with others.

Fast forward to 12-2am. We were only in the PR for 2 hours our first night and it was in this time that the explosion happened. My thoughts began to increase at all the shameful things I had done in secret. I felt the presence so strong that from day one I convinced myself that I was apostate and on the road to Hell. Later I discovered that this was the fear of the Lord. And so it began, I need to really think about how I am living my life before God? that question was asked everyday.

Before I exploded and hot coffee spilled on my lap

Before I exploded. This would best describe what the first couple of weeks of FITN was like. When you are numbly asleep and oblivious to your sinful condition God decides to spill hot coffee on your lap and wake you up.

To further engulf you into my internship experience first I will give you a brief description of Jared Diehl before Fire in the Night.

I graduated high school May 22, 2004. I graduated from Rocky Mountain HS in the FoCo. I had much responsibility to attend to when I was in high school. I was beyond popular and was booked night after night with a plethora of faddy events. Most of these in vogue gatherings were all about me and my friends. I refused to learn anything worth helping me in life, so I just decided to live life. Of course when you are in high school ‘living life’ meant pretending to smoke cigars while lighting the cigar and kind of inhaling, vandalism, and this over-the-top inside joke television show called “The Uncle Juney Show.”

The summer of 2004 was full of lewd darkness. I lived according to the flesh and deep down my soul was desperatley wanting out. Out of Fort Collins, but mostly outside of my selfish carnal world. I spent three months prior to FITN living out things I had once done but kind of got free from, and things I had never done that I forced myself to try. The summer of darkness came to an abrupt end when I stepped foot in that prayer room. The darkness started spilling out of me, I trembled at what I could not control. The presence smacked me in the face, it began devouring the sin I had become friends with.

If every night is going to be like this then this is going to be a long three months. And so it began, me becoming aware of this God I have heard of before. Love became more than a word, but a verb(not DC talk’s famous song). I exploded. I saw the light.

The fire that never goes out in the night

After discussing leadership last week and after the current FITN banquet last night I am stirred to dig out those old stories from when I was in Fire in the Night.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with FITN, first FITN is an acronym, acronyms are faddy at the house of prayer. By slinging around acronyms we save money in print and in speech. It takes up less space to write ‘FITN’ or ‘IHOP’ and it is much easier to say ‘FITN’ or ‘IHOP.’

Fire in the night is a three – six month intensive that is offered for anyone 18-30 who is hungry to encounter God. FITN gives every individual a chance to experience God each night in the prayer room. From 12am- 6am, when most of the world is asleep there is a couple hundred young adults worshiping and blessing the Lord. This six hour slot enables the hearts of people to sit still before the Lord and hear his voice. It gives people a chance to pray, either contemplatively or screaming on the microphone in intercession(back then scream was the norm, we don’t scream now.)

Fire in the night radically changed my life, as well as the 40 comrades that were with me. This week I want to talk about the impact this internship has had on my life and where I am today, now that it has been over 2 years since FITN.