Late night musing

The word muse just sound sophisticated and so much so that it rarely gets used. I still struggle with the inserting of dictionary.com words of the day. Today’s word for myself is: proclivities. I have this bent towards 2 Timothy 3, it reads(NKJV):

“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

My musing for the night is about love. Of course I have read C.S. Lewis’ Four Loves which I read December 2004 so it has been some time. The idea of love that is not rooted in sentiment and that is not us looking at love in stories and movies like the Notebook or even the depraved melancholic lines of Shakespeare, runs deep. God is love just blows my mind. I am 6 months away from being 30 years old and pretty much since I can remember I have been in church. My parent’s were in the ministry for a bit and then after that it was if I was too. I did sincerely love church and as I left by God’s mercy and grace I stuck with it. In fact, this whole love thing has driven me to press forward.

” Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”(NKJV)

Both passages for the night here open the door to a rather wider path. Of course, it is called the narrow path in terms of the number of true converts and also because of the difficulty in living the things Christ said. Finding God’s love and responding not as the condition that men will respond when a false/demonic and evil love takes over that leads to loving ourselves wrongly, is they key for us. Pursuing and laboring to understand God’s love, however, I am stirred and encouraged to continue on this path of this great pursuit. Let us run this race of loving God and loving each other! Who’s with me?

Full Of

God.Life.Love. Relationships. Connection. Eternity. And most of all, love.

Is there room for me,
Inside and around the things
That you do, the wonder of you,
The thoughts of closeness to you,
Where can I fit in, where can
I start to begin, infinite mercy
And infinite love is showered
Down upon me, like a rental,
Not in the mental, he came,
He was maybe to blame, the
Hits I took in secret became
Public and suspect to reject
The lovely things about myself,
And on the shelf my story lives,
My life it gives back to me,
For I alone know this memory,
To live, to die, to crossover,
To stand before Him with those
Eyes of flames and the name
Above all names—I am here,
I am infinite, I am full of greatness
I am wonderful, I am incredible,
I have not found yet someone
To share this with, I am alone
In the crowd and your voice
Is real loud, I dance, I entertain,
I proclaim that the world could
Satisfy but I try not to lie, I ache
Daily, I am restless, I am heartless
At times, I am resting on nothing
But those promises that await me,
Righteous choices to catch up
With me, but love to stay with me—
For I know now that all the good
In me will be seen and carry over
Into forever, accept me, don’t
Reject me, make me empty, so
I can be full of you—full of love,
And full of truth.

New Surrender

To long now I’ve been to strong now,

Fatherless calls ringing on the blackberry

Days so scary of it all now because for so long now

Not so well have I been loved my whole life and

Eruption is now coming because with you now I am

Now nothing, and the flames beneath my feet they truly

Great me neatly and hotly does it burn within me this love

For you now inside me now, beauty from all those women that

Had me smitten it fades like grass before me now, for that will always

Catch me offguard and submission to the Holy caculation reorients me

Now because for to long now I’ve been to strong now and my heart has

Been missing something from up above, and the upheaval of family’s past

It burns past me now and the phone on vibration leads to now inspection

For love from dad was always suspect because I always lost that respect

And now I renew this life of mine with this fallen mind of mine and press you

All the time to be better that that sweet Valentine because love is what we

Are singing out now inside these four white walls and begging now I am in

Because weakness now is my safeguard and once and for all now, love does

Renew me now and all my life been loved wrong so please God not so well it

Did dwell but please change the swell inside these waves and cause me to

Enter into that ocean of yours called love and stuff I can’t see yet, please

Great me newly with love so purely new that all I have to do is surrender

Today