Mercy List

Inspiration comes from many places. Most of the time it is from a reaction to what is happening around you that goes to a deeper place of what is going on inside of you mixed with some music that plays in your ipod…this is one of those reflections in light of the last few days..(the endless barrage of facebook comments on gay marriage)

Plane Mercy on the runway

Living like a runaway—carried

Away with darkness, at the edge

Of night, with bright eyes for the

Fight, Skinny love for the skinny latte,a

For the drinks you never drink,

For the shots on the jetway,

For the Samsonite of dreams

You carry so closely, endless

Nights of the getaway—the world

Is ready for a change, a change of

Heart—mercy cries out from inside

Of me, blinders for the blunders,

Pain for the miracles we don’t see—

Faith is of little substance to the

Stubborn heart—

Mercy for the start,

O God, mercy for the finish.

Mercy for the bumper sticker

Fish and its Darwin defeat,

Mercy for the politics in the

Name of love, mercy for the

Next president that sleeps in

Arrogance, that blinks with

Weary eyes, mercy for the

Red eyes in me, that want to

Live what I say,

Mercy for the jetway,

This plane is leaving soon

Mercy for the travels soon

To come, for the mission You

Give us

Mercy for the form

Mercy for the form without power

Mercy for the self-righteous parts of

This fight,

Mercy for the marriages on display

Mercy for the kids not yet spoken

For, mercy for the little sister,

Mercy for the boredom,

Mercy for the borders,

Mercy for the edges of Your ways

For where are they recently?

Mercy for the grace I need,

Mercy to try and succeed

Mercy for the love You have

Mercy for the vapid sentences

For the rapid memories of this

Small existence,

Mercy for the colors in the rainbow

For the division in me, for the racist

Slurs beneath my breath, for

The slow giving of second chances

For the debts I collect when love

Has no record of owing anything, no loans,

No recollection of dysfunctions way past

Your bed time, mercy for the bad dreams,

Mercy for the depressed lost in the dark,

Mercy for the spark we call zeal, we call

God willing I die in red, white and blue!

Mercy for this land we call freedom,

Mercy for bleeding abortion,

Mercy for the hemorrhage of

Judgment that seems to be rising

On the inside, mercy for the flames

We call the future, mercy for the Lake

Of Fire, but mercy for Daniel’s fire,

A fiery river of righteous,

Mercy for the way we say it

Mercy for the way we must live it

Mercy for the cracks we have

Caused, for the apples we have

Taken without Your permission,

Mercy for the three day rule of

Speaking things out, mercy for

The thrice days of resurrection

Ways, of dying again to being

The center of attention,

Mercy for the things I say

But more mercy for the

Things I don’t do,

Mercy for the lack of

Follow through, for not

Really following You,

Til death do us part

In sickness and in health

In rainbows or in puddles

Of quicksand, of problems

Just for living on this land

For saying Yes to Christ

No matter the cost,

For seeking the lost

For living for love

Mercy for our lack of

Grace and our zealous

Love for the truth diplayed

In the wrong ways

Mercy for the future

That you hold in the

Palm of Your hands

Maturing In Love

From my Facebook page:

1Cor.13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

How you mature into an adult is largely based on your revelation and experience of God’s love. If fear is a result of no love or very little then a fear of growing up takes place. Taking ownership of your emotions, experiences, and choices all flows from a high vision of God’s goodness. If we are immature then it could be from a low vision or no vision of who God says He is. I seek to mature and to help others do the same. Paul is also telling us to put away childish ways in community not just as individuals. Thoughts?

Shift, Part 2

Continuing on talking about change.

Black sheep living

blank sheet writing–

tongue is this pen,

You had me weighed in,

Two doors open for you,

Midnight chats,

Fireside burnout thoughts–

Better, worse or worse then

Both is to forget–

Scattered are these papers,

Brown is this coffee, cold but

Better than no good,

Stale are the memories of

The past, at times they don’t

Seem to last,

Famous me wants a new strategy-

A shift in the West, for how many

More promises are there to move

Towards a great shaking,

A great shifting? I am to

All over the place to know

Any better but quitting will

Be the quieting I need–

His voice breaks the cedars,

His voice gets unclear when

Its mostly not Him-

Tongue is a pen,

Write me in that book

Of Life, don’t take me out,

But pull me through the pain

Of waiting, of not knowing–

For back then,

In that hallway again,

Double doors again,

Big windy city to the right

Side of these dreams,

I am the shift,

I am the rift ready

To crack, I am the

Lack that is needed

To keep moving forward


This is a reflection on evangelism and being apart of God’s family.

Heavenly Family expansion
Orange County Mansion
Father’s house beckons and
Calls again and again–
You are good but I am misunderstood–
What makes a man?
The rocks he throws
At the issues he knows not of?
Or the house he builds–
Family first but rust is around
This American Dream,
White fences for the black
People, cake eating for the
Rich and famous–
Trade me over God,
Trade me over the poverty–
I have asked, yet I am still a
Mystery to me, I still feel
Distant from the closest
Parts of my inheritance–
This Family you call Heaven
Is it expanding on my watch?
Or do I slave away upon myself
And the noise that I have to bring!
God’s family is all around me,
Where cities are stained Orange
And fallen angels hover under
The bridge and the steps it takes
To Rebuild Babylon,
I am on, I am in, I am through
You, Your family goes through me
This foot needs the hands and
These hands need You

Poverty Gift

The message is in

God will win,

Yesterday was the rest of the

Best parts of me,

If I have passed then

I can outlast whatever will

Come my way

What am I missing if

I am fishing for a blessing

Without cost,

Without pain,

Without rain to work through

Without puddles to cover up for–

The just expect rust for breakfast

The criminals expect paper milk

And evaporated ramen flavors–

I do not get what I deserve–

I am so sick of the lack of love

I have for the abundance of stuff

I own—it must be harder for me then

To receive mercy

For the poverty gift

Unwraps the riches I think

I have, and I so have a need

To learn more on how to

Be poor

Basic Math( I am nothing!)

What is the missing equation?
I have multiplied my fears,
I have added my anxieties,
I have divided the light from
The dark,
I have added up the sum of how
Little sun I can see sometimes—
Its warm, its SoCal, it’s a beach of
An adventure, yet I have no thermometer—
I am pressed on every side,
I am shaken,
I am not persecuted for this faith,
For this bible I carry around—
For the trouble that has no ground
On me—
I have added up the days I have been
Alive and subtracted the days that I
Haven’t lived—
I have done the math right,
But the numbers don’t lie—
What is the end?
What is my end?
What is my subtraction—
What have I added?
What have I fought through
In numbers, in fears, in depressions,
In oceans of doubt, in religious jargon
That makes no sense—
The math makes sense—
Most are not at zero,
Most are not in the negative,
Most believe they are positive and
In the end the math is theirs to claim—
For Flaming Eyes of Fire they will see
All my numbers, He will add up what I
Have done with the numbers He has given
And I will know the end of the equation—
Me plus me is nothing and anything added
To me was never mine to begin with—

Knowing The Will Of God

What really does it mean to “do the will of God?” I say this because this can seem like the most important question to ask.

We seek to know our purpose(which is normal) and we seek to please God by our obedience. But often times it can sound like this: doing God’s will means hearing His voice and whatever He tells you to do you should do. So, we can then think that the judgment seat of Christ( 2 Cor. 5:10-11; Rom. 2:16; 14:10-12; Math. 12:36; 1 Peter 4:5) is all about answering for everything God told us to do. This is an absolute, but the emphasis is not on commandments, but on one’s motives. It doesn’t really actually speak to spiritual maturity to tell believers that all of life comes down to obeying God. This is incorrect in my opinion.

Jesus walked with the disciples for three and half years then He died on the cross and rose from the dead. The promise He left was that through the Cross we all have access to the Father and with the Holy Spirit( as the Counselor) will teach us all things– doesn’t always mean God tells us exactly( word for word, sentence upon sentence) what to do, where to live, where to work, who to marry, who to not hang out with, or even which color of car to buy( because red for a male means you will get pulled over more).

That can sound almost heretical. Doesn’t the Holy Spirit search the deep things of God? Yes, He does. But believers with the Holy Spirit learn about God through relationship with Him and through that relationship we do His will because of love. Love and obedience are connected, but as we grow in God( like Hebrews 12) He disciplines us as sons and daughters. He chastises, He cuts off that which doesn’t bear fruit. God works in us His will but He also works in us an awareness of the “desires of our heart.” Not to be confused with the wickedness that is internally apart of every human being.

Yes, we have fallen desires. And yes, we can want the wrong things. And yes, God requires us to obey no matter what. But in the long term of knowing His word and knowing what He has already spoken it would be more accurate to say that God rewards our choices and lets us decide sometimes which way to go. You will not always hear exactly what to do and sometimes that is on purpose. You do have purpose and you do have a choice and God mysteriously uses choices, decisions and His commands to fulfill Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

The Judgment Seat of Christ is more centered around not so much obedience but on the heart posture. God accounts all of our tears in a bottle and He is counting every reach and every movement towards Him. It is not just that God sees every evil thought( though He does) but it is that He sees our efforts and the more we press into Him with His grace and His mercy He in turn rewards us for seeking His face. It is not so much one over the other, rather it is both. But living in the “both” as an answer is what can make or break decisions and life’s transitions.

The reason why this is important in my opinion is that many of us can be afraid of our passions and desires and dreams and ideas. The same God that has told us that we are totally depraved( mind, soul and body) and that without His mercy and grace we cannot be made into His image, also said, “Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart!” Over time it seems to make more sense to ask God to treat you not like a little kid anymore just as you would ask the same of your earthly parents.

Parenting is so valuable because from ages 1-18 ( and some) your parents instill in you all that they can, but eventually you move out of the house, and make your own church choices, theological decisions, vocations and most of all relationship choices). It is not that we are never without any guidance. As our Heavenly knows what we need before we ask!

But, there is a difference between always needing someone to affirm your decisions when in all actuality we can be responsible for our choices, though in God its possible that we do choose right because we simply just “know what is right!” I don’t mean like the force in Star Wars where you can just “feel it!” I mean you just know what it is you want and what to do because Jesus has said, “You are no longer servants( for the servant does what the master says) but now I call you friends!”

As parents you can sometimes hinder your children by always telling them what to do. I am not a parent but I have some wonderful parents and I have to not let them give me commands as I am almost 30 years old and I decide for myself.

What I do, however, is honor them and their advice. The subject of honor is a whole other discussion.

Parenting is a challenge because you don’t want your children to make mistakes or go through pain many a times. There is no one way to do it, but wrestling with these tensions can free many of us up and move us away from being robotic in our faith to actually living out of passion to please God and to see Him in all that we do.

The key to redefining what “passion” means can be found in John 17:24

“Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.”

Once we see God’s passion for us and His fierce love and mercy we then do all that we can to have that living on the inside of us. Not just this verse sums it up but its a place to start. Jesus is our example. He lived from His Heavenly Father’s desire. It is also interesting to note that the affirmation of who Jesus was took place before Jesus DID anything. Jesus heard from Heaven, “You are my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased!”

It was as if Jesus spent 30 years learning His identity “growing in favor..” And out of that place of purity and identity He was able to DO the mission. God was present in both stages. He forms us, shows us, guides us and then works through us and also lets us decide. The goal is not to be safe it is to live on the edge of utmost trust. Risk taking is the apex of story telling. Films and books are usually trying to take common situations and common people struggles and pushing them to go beyond their “ordinary life!” That is why we pay so much money to see the same stories in different settings and nuances because we are reaching for a risk. However, true bravery and courage is found in seeing how much a risk Christ took and because He faced it we can face it too.

The Apostle Paul did say, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”( Phil. 2:12-13)

This command is to a body of believers and it is in between Paul telling us to be like Christ and follow His example of humility. I would like to suggest that working our your own salvation is not just between you and God but it is working it out amongst your brothers and sisters in Christ! I cannot grow unless my brothers and sisters help me grow and I also need oil that no one else can give me. It is the wonderful tension of the word BOTH. You need people!

Final thoughts:

-You know God by knowing His word and meditating on it day and night. And talking to Him about everything.
-The more time spent with God further grounds us in knowing who we are and why we were created.
-The way to know if you are doing something right when you think you are not comes with time and also is affirmed by the body of Christ-
–Without Godly friendships and community it will be much harder to discern the will of God.
-The fear of making decisions for yourself can be the same reaction of the parable of the talents. God gave them something to take care of, but the “wicked and lazy” servant said to Jesus, “I knew you to be a harsh man!”

Cowering in fear of God that is not the fear of the Lord can cause us to do nothing with the time He has given us. Erring on action actually is better than doing nothing. And the one that did nothing was called “Wicked and lazy!” which is what no one wants to hear at the end of one’s life. We can think that fear is okay as long we maybe work on other things, but fear in the long run becomes a sin. It is God who appears before us in His terrifying splendor and first says, “Do not be afraid!” It is a commandment to not be afraid and to not worry about one’s life! But only in Christ and by the Holy Spirit can we overcome and face our fears.

All of this is just an opinion and a perspective that can help us grow up in Christ because so much of what is ahead in life can be up to us, but we know we can’t do anything apart from Him.

Comments are always welcome 🙂

A Line

A line has been crossed,
Over into, above onto,
Below and beneath the darkest
Of dreams,
“nor things present”
These ones are uneasy,
These ones are not easy,
Present means today,
Present is now,
Rain and clouds
And light that comes in
Between Halloween days,
Noah came to this life,
Came with all his heart,
Now he grows to fast now,
Now I am not very present
To watch him grow-
“Things to come!”
Yes, I never will know
The dark is getting darker,
The perverse man boasts in his
Darkness, and the clouds cover
Me again,
I have seen it all,
I have also said I have
Not seen anything,
I am still young,
For the twenties are
Slipping away now,
I am getting old,
Getting less bold about
What I cannot do,
Who I won’t be,
What I do not have
“All things working!”
Slave away at me,
Stay away at me–
What is God?
What is me?
What is a choice I
Cannot see,
What is those white halls,
Those painted blue lights,
Those midnight fights with
Now it works cause I work
Too, now I live, and death
Does to,
Through is my new cue,
Around does not exist
Dodging the bullet is
More of a bullet to take,
To bleed, to feel, to
Be present,
This is the line to cross,
Where nothing hinders anymore

To Late For Vegetables

Its to late for vegetables
For its nutrients to slip,
For a broken hip season used
To be the reason,
Now tepid is the treason I
Live in—a soft cucumber was
Never the Nineveh messenger,
The hidden asunder under the
Storms of Poseidon,
I was never in for safety,
I just said yes in pain,
And never did try to stay the
Same, sun was always behind
Me, stapled shut was the light,
The trash bags on the window
Edge, on the sea’s kedge,
On the shallow anchor of
The bible belt, on the soft
Felt words that don’t change
Me—vegetable living is the
Hardest of realities, the worst
Of all tragedies, for gray hairs
Have now grown for this life
That I have sown—tears and
Pain in this Hollywood terrain—
I will not quit in seeking the
Deep things, but I will not stay
In the fun zone of games,
And the terrain of safety that
Is called a better place to be—
Deception is never bold letters
But a form with no power—
A scrapbook for the scraps–
I had encountered that purity
Talk once then it left when
All those airwaves changed,
When these bright eyes
Got colluded by the pieces
Called a gift, called for later,
Called for with that special

But one thing is true,
Vegetables don’t do it,
Their shapes and faces
As depth does fall away from
Us, from our kids,
Noah to know you one day,
Depth to the deep places of your
Smile that touches me so deep,
I will do what I can to not let you
Not live just like everyone else—
Love is not safe,
Is not a vegetable,
Is not shiny on the outside
But essential when it peels
Back—I am not into that,
I can’t explain how it seems
Its edges just paint around me—
Shallow is the valley around me—
Deep cries, deep consumes,
Love and pain seem to never
Be separated

Shadows And Flames

Love has been the final fight
The final focus to get right
The final tale that’s yet to be telled
Man cannot have one dimension
He is complex and goes without mention—
The wind passes and the fires burn,
The flame bends on and in and through
The time that I have consumed—
Its scars stay close to me, stay close
Upon me—pain is on this resume—
The hardness of nights without sleep,
Without a rest to put me at ease—
Empty have I declared,
Bankruptcy I say,
Vacancy blinks neon as the
Dusk settles in, empty is
This place, carved out for You,
What was good in the past now
Does not last—I only have particles
Of you, memories of all who have
Not given up, a mountain man He
Was, down the mountain with fire and
Brimstone, with earthly tones, with
Shades of black, with a people of lack—
For fear used to be the source,
Fear of seeing and a real fear of
Moses knew Your ways,
But I live for the acts,
For the miracles,
For a wandering eye will
Never rest, so satisfy me
So I can be the best—
Shadows and flames come
And go—now I can approach
Without a Moses, without a
Mountain but through a Man
Called You Jesus,
The final fight for a new kind
Of shadow—one that heals
When I walk by,
One that picks up all
The fallen particles
That embraces this earthen
Vessel-one God, one Father,
One faith, one baptism,
One resume full of suffering,
Full of sorrow, full of death,
Full of facing all the forces that
Would try to steal and kill—
Love is that steady thing,
That burns in circles,
That has a ring,
That has commitment,
That has that wealthy ointment—
That can only be understood
When man is empty
When women is empty,
When pain is the guide to
Choose love, choose God,
To choose Christ and all
That He has done—if its
All that matters in the end—
Then today is the day to
Get it, to understand, to
See what it really means