Validation

Is it valid, your love for me?
Is it solid, the weakness that separates me?
Is it true that I don’t know what is true
That I cannot be known apart from You–
Heavenly is a remedy for temporal
Disturbances, a ruckus I have raised
For this highway to be paved–
Sitting is pain, silence is a hollow
Train through this town–no supplies,
No asking why, no more things to carry–
No more being silent for the things that
Bother me, but do they bother You, or are you
Restraining so it won’t kill me?

I am bothered that I feel smothered by
Your eyes, by a God who never lies,
By a covenant that I cannot break,
Flesh is cut, bird blood in a rut,
A cross is between us, but only one
Of us has been raised up, has been
Raised up forever!

I will not go for You God,
I will not speak for You,
I will ask over and over again–
Am I valid? Am I solid? Am I
Empty when everyone sees me
Full? Am I fool for the sake of love-
Am I the Nineveh messenger bent
On rejection or am I also swallowed
Up by my own fear,
By my own despair?
By my own repair that leads
To nowhere

Am I valid?
Am I solid?
Or am I focusing on that which
Can keep me from believing that
You are good,
That you are near,
That Your mercy validates
The parts of me that cannot
Save, that cannot hear, and
That cannot speak
I will go, I will say,
But I will need mercy to
Lead the way

Prophet’s Cry

Poverty in getting to me
For it’s a force I can’t see
Empty he calls, empty he
Shouts,

Waiting for the road to clear
Waiting for hearts to cheer,
Faith isn’t enough for life is
Rough and requires a theology
Of suffering, cross beam hangs over
Me, do I die daily, do I wait in this
Coffee line, for the world to wake
Me, for Hollywood to take me,

Nineveh cries out from distant
Shores, souls in the valley, myself
In the pit of despair, for whales
Swallow my plan, my pride, my
Nirvana, toss me aside my friends
Would say—for my disobedient
Dissidence is their resistance,
Sign of Jonah speaks right to
The highway, right to the getaway,
Man can’t face God alone, face shone,
Down the mountain great men have
Been—now I am what I am and what
I am cannot see what you are, for I
Have this scar, this road, this pride
Building up—die me I say, its better
God that I disappear, mercy you extend,
Grace you bend—shores of the fallen
Cry for me, call for me, be for me what
I am not for myself—be salvation!

Nineveh is no nirvana but Nineveh
Is the world out there, pointing is
Easy, speaking I can’t do with you
On my side, speak through me,
Die with me Lord, keep me alive
In this dark world—let me not
Underestimate your plans for
The world around me, the plans
For the guilty in me