Awake Now

Some reflections on past experiences with depression.
My hope is found in Christ coming again.

Awake now
Alive now
Dead yesterday
Dead in the doorway
Between light and dark,
Held it to my head, the pencil
With led, the fingerprints of
Pain, the blueprints of my future,
Depression is a suppression, joy
Is a revolution inside of me,
One more night, five months of
Hallway pacing, of happy making,
Of gratitude on the plate, a daily love
You, a daily thank you, no more pity
In this city, for Disney dreams rarely
Comfort me, fireworks nightly, coffee
In the morning, life in mourning, shall
The hunger ever stop? Shall the poverty
Ever bring clarity, or shall it just kill me?
I’d rather be dead and poor, then alive and
Deceived and relieved by the freeway, by
The interstate, the man’s somber state,
Division is near, fear is near, the sword is
Out of His mouth, the blood on the battlefield,
Israel to lead, nations to deceive, the devil to
Upheave, death on the shelf, love on display,
All deserve to burn, but the ark is near, He is
The one to fear—come near Lord and change
Dark to light, come to us in this American

Black And Light

To those who struggle with the mind. Grace and mercy to you!

All I see is black
All I have is lack,
All I hear is the shadow
And the echo that follows
Me, attempts at you,
Attempts to get to you,
Seek me, find me, you
Would say, but I saw you
That day—white hallways
Called out to me, broken
Break room in front of me,
Hot tea, sugar, spice and sweet—
I delete the days of happiness
For you saw it and I lived it—
Dark sinks deep, light is a war
I was done fighting then—you
Had me in—life is to hard to
Call easy—trees breezy,
Make me a man that is
A man for you—depressed
Men call for truth, call for
Light, for the church to shine
Bright—weak limbs surround
Me but they are apart of this
Body—I choose them, I seek
Them—love is the war on
Weakness—shine in me
Lord—let light reign in
High octane of black
And bruised and abused
Voices that live in this
Broken mind