Someone for the abandon
Someone to play Poseidon,
Some waves to crash,
Some love to rehash,
Summer is lonely under
The shade tree, it starts
Out as pleasure, endless
Fruits and the future suits
To dress me up in—
But then it gets bitter,
And sour and unheard of
Things—summer spring
Winter to claim,
Dried up am I,
Someone for the abandon,
Someone to play Poseidon,
I am at sea, and I want it,
Tossed and drowning,
Hungry in the yawning,
Sleepless at sea,
Sleepless in the comfort—
Sleepless on the freeway,
For my life is to safe,
To easy, to much ease,
To much of the downloads,
Of the distraction,
Of the endless
Action dissatisfaction,
I have of the explosions
And the blood and the guys
And those that just merely
Survive, I need not just
Poseidon, or all those
Forces in nature—I need
A not so safe future, without
Regret, without fear,
With many waves,
Many seas,
Many shores to
Wash up upon—
I want it,
I am going to get it,
I will not quit—
Toss me you fake
Gods and Goddesses,
Only one thing can stand
When in comes the lamb

The Crash Of March(older poem)

This is an account of a car crashing through the Trader Joe’s store I was working at.

March 20, 2009

Who would’ve ever thought work would make some Ruckus. Here’s my perspective. And some pictures soon to come.
This took place on March 13th at Trader Joes.

The Crash Of March

For ordinary days to expect delays we are not
Featured for prayers prayed, rather our group is
Peculiar in form and expression like comparing
Animals at the zoo, each of us has our cage, our
Fits of rage, our act on stage, our thrust to
Grow, battle with age and grays. Here is the
Indelible truth branded on our vision and told
In revision like aspiring writers writing responding
To the simple question: why is there a hole in the wall
And where is my wine?

The Crash of March has changed our vision,
Our perception, has rattled our cage, bent its
Bars, struck the chords of rage, altered backdrop
Displays to our stage and a slight increase in age

It began as just another simple
Day of delegated positions, all of us humbly
Not shirking our duty to fulfill obligations, everyone
Anticipated an early exodus, an extra smoke from
The cigarette, did we hypnotize ourselves to
Let our store walls break us, invade us, impede on
Our invincible lives?

This town, its glory and its vanity like the
Shows you watch that invade the endless
Tragedy of richness and maybe not everyone
Is a millionaire here, but in splitting wheat
From tare, I see a resilient society that has
Earned there retirement and down payment
On the endless waves that invade
Never ending ocean down the hill,
O, what a thrill for the storm to
Come, to wake us
Up from deep slumbering, not knowing
That one offset white truck could miss
A tree, geyser at Wells Fargo
Smack into our winery cargo,
Change our pattern, our limbo,
Crash like a kamikaze bomb,
Combust the empty space full
Of the wine that is so entwined
In high society, rushing like blood
Down his adolescent face we no
Longer had comfortable space but
Only heart palpitations and screeching
Proclamations that no was really hurt
Or dead but rather instead we saw
Through the crash of Friday the 13th,
We all still had our teeth, our bodies,
Our center of gravity, our balance
Beam, our clothes sewn at the seam,
Still together, unharmed but abruptly
Awake, that so far this life we’ve lived
Came close to ended. And in answering
The simple question and observing like
CSI we were grateful, we could’ve died.

Watching the emergency team stop
The unceasing stream, I reexamined
My keen intuition to dream, to believe
In things unseen, forces beyond my
Comprehending, protection outside
Of my own walls of comfort, for
Those too, also came down, for
As much glass splattered on the floor,
Split the ceiling, so the
Safe harbor feeling was shredded
And depleted, not money, not success, not any
Of this was on my chest, only
The burning awareness that life
Could be lost in a matter of
Seconds, the arch of the emerald
Rainbow could soon be asking me,
‘What have you loved for me
Recently?’ And God I wonder
Why there was no asunder, no
Storm cloud thunder but rather
This truck burning rubber and
Like me, asleep at the wheel,
Not awake until something
Starts to bleed, until out of
The ordinary comes the story
That some kid crashed into
Our walls, that no one died,
But I saw my pitfalls, my
Selfish ambitions and my
Jaded vision, that
Nothing could ever pull me
Down, not even the thrill
Of the winery, and dining
In this city, no pity for
Lucrative life, I saw it
Like a knife splitting the
Atom, when death is a phantom,
We are in danger, the arch of
Mercy is a stranger and we risk
Living like tomorrow is a guarantee.
I see, I love, I live in this city, I
Humbly choose to believe that
It was something not up to me
That 10 feet to the left I could have
Been taken like a thief in the night
And for all that is accurate and right
We survived the crash of March,
The almost fall of the arch of
Mercy that so easily hovered
Around each employee,
For this I am grateful and
Much able to boldly share
This story.

Jumper Cables(older poem)

This past week or so I have been highlighting old poems from 2008 to present. This one was written while living in Orange County, working at Trader Joes.

Jumper Cables

To say I never saw you asking me would
Be my tragedy and my downfall
For ignoring your fall,
For preoccupation to
Start over again.
It wasn’t the pink sky that
Caught my eye, rather it was
The Catcher in the Rye
Society that peddles in the sand when you
Reach out your hand, maybe it’s the sun dried
Retirement or the never ending ointment of no
One begging for a simple request: Can you jumpstart
My car?

And from a distance this world would gaze and
Amaze themselves to sleep, deep slumber like
Mammals in hibernation until December when
Gifts are exchanged and engagements are sealed
Tight, will it be then, when vanity fair has caught
Up with them, then and only then will they reach
Out a helping hand past a cell phone branding of
Pockets deeply buried digging for an excuse to
Leave the desperation scenery. To parade in
The winery, to chalk it up to apathy.

To say I never saw you asking me was
My selfish tragedy, for I could not spare
A set of jumper cables to boost you in
The right direction when you’ve been
Stop lossed, I seem to have endeavored
To do something worthy of my need for
A savior, this current flavor of Orange
County, the hunt and bounty for
Boys and girls that could share toys,
So entwined in self, we have let our
Lives getaway like a loose collared
Runaway dog, we’ve lived in fog
And driven in smog, cluttered
Purview of super glued hands
Still in pockets, like rockets
Jetting the sky that all she needed
Was someone to try and jump start
Her car and so far I haven’t asked
A friend, or a bygone to share
Some oxygen in a hiatus of
Time, to spare jumper cables
To shock our system, to crack
The broken cistern, to sharpen and discern

To say I never saw you, this too would be
True, ignorant was I, unable to surpass
Selfish ambition and paraded altruism
Was the desideratum to make it up
To you, to give you some time,
Some energy, some of me,

Maybe next time I won’t be so
Blinded to the stranded, this
Incident is branded in the vault
Of things to grow into, to be
Like Christ in all that we do.

King Of This Castle

Reflecting on God’s mercy breaking through areas where we are resistant to Him.

King of this castle I am
This place of comfort I live in,
This path I walk daily is wrath
Underneath me, for I choose to
Walk from He and away from the
Pain that will make me a better man,
King of this place I do pace and place
All my trust, not knowing when to
Combust when daily I collect rust
And lust after what is wrong and
What song that I cannot dance to,
Now I need a break from these
Awful mistakes I take, how I
Fortify the lie that I can live
In this castle without you,
Hope moves past the moat,
And tries to climb up to me,
I let down my hair, I try to
Rescue me from this royal
Despair, see loyalty is in me,
Allegiance is a part of me, I
Just stumble upon who I
Give it to, so I need you in
This fort, in this fork in the
Road, help me turn it in,
Wave the white flag and
Surrender, call this a
Disaster, make my heart
Beat faster—I trust in
You—the only true King,
Able to rule my most
Fortified of ways

My Samsonite

This is from older poems on talking of travel and wanting to run away sometimes.

My Samsonite

Waiting, always waiting at the top of the stairs
Wondering, always wondering when change would come to me
Red eyes tonight over the wrong reasons to get adjusted, turbulence
Later did come and left me a little numb, now a man trying to overcome
Suitcase now is packing all the things that have been lacking, I pack them
Up now, the lonely things, the nightly things, the nobody knows me things,
They are packed away real tight inside, my Samsonite stays in my line of sight
Ready for a red-eyed flight, a Hilton, a Westin, a cheap super eight stay, a free
Towel to wrap around me, a free room service check in, now the loads are

Full, and I live on a pass, for I have been standing by my whole life waiting for
Christ to return a rerun back to me, now its real again, the pain again to be born
Again, to live again, to know Him and stay loved, so it stays packed away real
Tight, My Samsonite underneath the bed, with new thoughts instead of how
We can get connected again— cause we all want a preacher, and a teacher—

To get older, teach me how to be mature cause its all so relative that thing
Called male and female, teach me now how to unpack these questions and not
Keep them so tied up on the inside, for the knots of ambitions they lose when
I get unafraid now, so stay close in these thoughts of mine but now time moves

Ahead of me, and stays with me like the things you have always said, now these
Red eyes change into eyes that stay fixed on you through the things that get packed
Away inside me and forgotten when I run away, so I stay with you Lord—trusting,
Committing and delighting in what you made


How our nature and God’s nature are opposite but how He loves us in the process of changing us.

in you is mercy, in me is wrath
in you is kind, in me is a rewind
in you is solitude, in me I change
my mind, I regret, I fumble, I choose
to stumble, I like the dark, I see little
light, I stay up all night without you
in sight, my plight, the flight that I
take daily, flying away from you
in all that you do, I am opposite of
what you are, I do opposite of what
you do, yet in opposition you correct
my position and place me in a royal
chair and in a royal place and in a place
that I could never replace with wrath on
me I still choose no, yet yes is all that seems
to be in you, for you never give up on me,
you are the opposite, I now say yes, make
me not a different person, but let me
change in the person that I have chosen

Warring Man

Warring Man

All the animosity

All the bellicosity

Man has a warring history

The worlds’ of separation,

A soldier generation, one

Army a harbinger of doom,

Gloom, the locust bloom,

Another army of power,

Of authority, riding with

The King to see His glory,

Now man rages and engages

The King, and slaying He will

Bring, bloody fields of Iron

Lined men, war criminals they

Will be, man rages in animosity

Brings out the evil in me

The evil in we, I am no longer

My own pointing at my

Comfortable home, I to

Rage against His ways

Succumb to the warring

Days, but now I keep it

Simple, I keep it true

Help me see you anew

And stop the raging—

For you are good!

Life And Death

Life and death are always fighting each other.

now getting to living Him said

don’t be better off dead

now tribulation has me in debt

and is now my best bet, 

sideways is my always

and in red I’ve been

searching for the currency of

heaven to purchase me a new

spark in me, a new que with

a new view inside a new you

one that keeps a man up at

night, for poverty keeps me

going and to depravity I’m

owing,to Christ the king

I do sing, for life and death

will always fight inside me


through my highs and

through my lows

I bend down and give

you control, through

the rain and the downpour

please God, give me more

through the throughs I

take the cues, I remove 

My shoes, for Holy is this

ground where grace does

abound, you God wear the

victor’s crown and pour victory

Over Me


Love Inside

Doesn’t longing overtake you in the mundane,

Does reflection get in suspicion because something

Daily now is missing, all the perfect conditions daily surround me

Friends that cook for me and do things for me, and those faces that

Come to me nightly very endlessly, innocence was a childhood dream

But now its an endless stream that sits inside this stream of this jean that

Hits the water beneath me with rain puddles and rubbles of pain around

Me how this poem could be about she from past waves by the Sea and

Days of those letdowns behind me, because fast food life is keeping me

Up at night along with those beached blonde hair highlights but deep down

I am a mess all around because Love is calling out to me and there goes

That pop cd, out the window on the freeway past Blue Ridge avenue I can

Feel it too, because now I am counting down the days I get to be with you,

So eternity now is deep within me, so tonight I turn to you Lord and put

Away the waste and now make haste to storytell again to be with you