Listless

Many times it feels that just intending to do things for God or for the sake of love and being godly..it feels as if that is not enough. Is it strange to think that God rewards those that follow through and doesn’t to those that don’t. This is not an issue of being saved or going to heaven. Clearly there is a distinction but it seems very offensive to think that part of operating in God’s grace is the individual being held accountable for results not just intentions. Just a thought and also something that bothers me daily. I am in and rest in His mercy, but I refuse to waste my life on that which will burn away someday.

Death takes it for me,
Cause it’s the norm around me—
All have fallen asleep,
Live like zombies,
Encased in warm bodies—
Enclosed in unceasing hobbies—
I thirst for the truth,
Are not all depressed?
Are not all suppressed?
Are not all supposed to
Hear it clear and fear no
Evil? Are we all the watchmen
Of our own souls?
Are we all to broken to
Remember ever working
Rightly—brain is broken,
Death has spoken, I seek
To make the impact—
To keep love intact—
I am in the shadow
And I am falling apart–
Daily choosing the wrong
Parts—the pieces, the
Attractive things that seek
To lust it out on the lists
Of life, listless I am now
Of the lists I have made—
Of the intentions that have
Been dismayed—I am just
Intention now, I am just
As fallen as him or her—
Or those that live in a blur—
Can the projects be resurrected?
For hell awaits all those with
Good intentions—hollow me,
Hallow me, shine through me—
I am tired of talking,
Of living like summer will
Never end, its over, its gone,
No more sand, no more fire,
No more works, no more of
The closeness you used to feel—
No more promises just the nonsense
Of being a fuse, being empty—
Listless now, for tomorrow dares
To show me a new opportunity,
To hopefully change

What Its Been Is Just Depravity

Photo on 6-24-14 at 2.26 PM

Still need some help making the words appear next to whichever picture is posted. It has been far to much time that has passed that I have NOT discussed current works of poetry. I love movie reviews. I love the learning and the discussion. I love theology. I love talking about current books(a long list to be written about) but most of all I love poetry. Next to Jesus and my family and my best friends in the whole world I love writing poetry. I have yet to label myself as a beat poet, a spoken word artist or any other format that is out there. I have on purpose not looked at what is out there and I have not tried to conform to it.

Receipt tape while I worked at Ralph’s in December 2007. That’s all I had and that’s where it began. All writers( and wannabe’s) have a story and have their whole lives to offer on the pages that they pen. I offer up to the world my reflections on Christ at the center of pain, suffering and all that we do not understand. I do not offer conclusive solutions or polemics against those who “dislike Christians.” I preach Christ and Him crucified. I do not need to defend God. I simply want to represent Him rightly knowing that I will change a lot of what I believe and think over time. Everyone will.

What its been for me in the past two months almost now has been a lot of I am’s. I am thinking of the I AM’s in John’s Gospel. However, I am thinking more along the lines of human depravity and attachment to sin.

I am addiction. I am wheelchair. I am intention. I am violence. I am buried chains.

All of these titles bear what I hope to be an accurate description of how I feel sometimes and how I feel others might feel. I can’t escape the words of John’s third chapter..’Men love the darkness.’ The good news of the Gospel begins with men loving themselves and loving the darkened shadows they walk in.

Keep in mind some of these verses:

Romans 1:29-30” being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful.”

Psalm 5:5
“The arrogant cannot stand in your presence. You hate all who do wrong;”

Psalm 81:15
“Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever.

Proverbs 24:8
“Whoever plots evil will be known as a schemer.

2 Cor. 12:20
“…I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

2 Timothy 3:2
“People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

And lastly, we should all remember this in John 3:35-36

“The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hand. “He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”

I don’t think Christians should respond to these verses pointing the finger and thinking..O, look at the world, that same world we live in but we are not apart of. O, look at the insolent people I work with and my co-workers who gossip. Usually saying this over and over to ourselves leads then to us saying: ‘O, I am so glad I am not like them!’

The full Gospel message should infuse us first with a “Total” description. To use from the TULIP expression. Total means our whole beings and bodies and minds are all effected by sin. Therefore, all of Christ’s sacrifice has absorbed that wrath for us. Christ laid down His mind( and did not sin), His body(as a sacrificial Lamb), and His heart/Spirit. All of His totality in His sacrifice has made the way for us to be totally free and delivered. However, we still have to fight this total thing. Our proclivities towards what theses verses( and many more) are telling us. We do not just dwell on our fallen condition nor do we just try to live our best life now relishing in all the stuff we get from God because we said a salvation prayer and because we have good attendance at church.

We live with our whole beings. I am addiction. I am wheelchair and the other I am poems point to this knife cutting introspection. I am a homosexual really. I am gay outside of the grace that compels me not to do so. I do not attempt to talk to much on the homosexuality issue. Its pretty clear that its not just a political agenda. As much as it has made leaps and bounds in the last few years. The acceptance of this issue has been in the hearts of every human being since the beginning of time. So, in one sense, we should not be so surprised. Other issues like abortion, pornography and the sec slave movement are very unfortunate and not to be treated like they don’t exist. However, all of these things have been around since Adam and Eve.

The film Noah(which I did see) did not delve to deep into the scariest description of man and a very scary response that God had.

Genesis  6:5-6

“Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.…”

Already after the joyous creation of man and women and their union together. And there reflection of the Trinity and God’s desire for intimacy. Already, men and women were doing evil..were inventing ways to do harm..to the point that God had second guesses about humanity. Now, the open theist would maybe take this verse and prove that God’s responses are not final( in His mind) that God can change his mind and He shows us that He is capable of that. I don’t know. But I do know that that same response God had in Noah’s time exists today.

Here’s another thing.

Jesus promises that as it was in the Days of Noah so will it be when the end comes( Mathew 24). We are in the days of Noah and we are getting close to the flood. I see the rainbow. And I conclude this depravity post( though there need be more) with the fact that the rainbow means mercy. Revelation four sees the Emerald rainbow around the throne. Though we persist in our wicked ways God sends a way, and has sent a way for us to be saved. The one mediator, the man Christ Jesus. The ransom for our sin. The sinless one. The Lamb of God. The Prince of Life. The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords. The only one worthy of being able to govern the world. We must fall on the rock now and choose to battle this depravity with the truth. There is no other way but the way in which we choose God. Acceptance upon Jesus alleviates the wrath that we are under if we don’t choose. Say yes. Repent. Cry out for mercy.

‘For God longs to show you compassion!’

I am just reflecting on a few poems out of 60 that have been written in the last two months, so consider this the first of many. I appreciate all the feedback, comments, Ruckus from you. I thank you for reading his blog.

 

 

Fallen Me. Bad News Before The Good News

I don’t have to preface what I am about to say because I can say whatever I want on my own blog. God bless America for this freedom that will be taken away one day by demonic-possessed men and women working for the Anti-Christ all to fulfill God’s great purposes before He comes and slays the heads of every single wicked King on this planet that does not bow before Him..A Jewish man that is the only one worthy to execute justice. So before you think your justice initiatives are really impacting the food ministry at your church does it line up with Christ? Does preaching His Gospel actually go beyond just feeding people and doing good stuff in a church building?

God does not dwell in temples made by hands..

My intro is a little bit of a rant but my aim..please, hear me, my aim is not to judge or condemn..I am examining myself and sharing with you what I am staring at when I look at Jared Diehl in the mirror.

sinners

It is believed that in the Christian life(at least most have some of this going on) that just going to church or activities at church and listening to someone preach on the radio equates to transformation. I do not want to go into all the details of this point because that is a thousand posts to come on the subject of sanctification.

Just hearing truth and the concepts of say salvation, justification(saved by faith, not by works), christian ethics, tithing, giving, forgiveness, showing compassion to a dying world, exc..

Just hearing does not mean change and does not actually mean you understand and are getting it. I think the biggest obstacle to going past just hearing is the already beyond warped conscious that we already possess. Did not David exclaim in his penitence..”In my mother’s womb..I was conceived in sin..”

John Calvin still lives in modern minds today. Calvinism. Neo-Calvinsim. Pelagianism. Mark Driscoll and John Piper–ism(Godly men..not making fun of them) carry the flame of TULIP. Some might add a few more letters. I don’t get all of it but I do agree that Total Depravity is pretty close to bearing its name. It means TOTAL. It means we cannot save ourselves. It means we are not good. It means no one is good.

Romans 3:10-19 says:

“There is none righteous, no, not one;


There is none who understands;


There is none who seeks after God.


They have all turned aside

They have together become unprofitable;

There is none who does good, no, not one.”


“Their throat is an open tomb;
With their tongues they have practiced deceit”;


“The poison of asps is under their lips”; 


“Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood;


Destruction and misery are in their ways

;
And the way of peace they have not known.”

“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
 Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin.”(NKJV)

Our world craves darkness. Another passage to be quoted would be John 3:19-21(The whole passage of course needs to be read too) but look at this:

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”

My world craves darkness. It can be easy to point the finger and think that ‘we are in the world and not of it’ so look at those sodomites, those homosexuals, those sexually immoral..geesh don’t they know that their end is the Lake of Fire to burn in the presence of the Lamb? Yes, all true but I am shining the magnifying glass on me. One Direction can sing all they want, “Let’s live while we are young.” J-LO can loudly proclaim, “We can do anything we want, so live it up!”

death-of-jesus-0108

The world is the world I live in and I am the darkness Jesus talks about. I am the resistance to Him. The answer to the pop lyrics is that you can imagine that you are doing what you want. You can imagine that at college your parents don’t know what you are up to unless you put in on facebook which would only break their hearts even more. You can and I can imagine that ‘doing what we want!’ is what makes America so special and so unique and so set apart from all those other communist dictators out there. No, that is the problem. We will answer for our deeds and for our actions and most of all, for our choices. Mercy is to be had and God is beyond good and will forgive anyone for anything, but it is still a choice. And most will choose darkness.

I am everything Paul lists just in Romans 3, not to mention all the other places. I am all of those descriptions and more and most likely worse then those descriptions.

I have not a very exciting life so its much easier for me to just talk about other people. I guess I am a leader so its okay to break everyone open because I am trying to be a good leader and I am trying to help them. Really? Talking crap about people really helps them.

I think giving a quarter for someone to take the bus is doing a good deed for the day while I am mostly thinking about how I can waste more money at Starbucks, or on movies, or on eating crappy food. But because I please everyone and appear to be doing things right by praying at my church and praying loudly on the microphone I guess I am fighting the darkness..right?

form_of_godliness_3

Sorry to sound negative on myself. I am done beating myself up. I hope I can find life in God to the point of not just talking about my sin with Him. I hope that is not all we talk about in heaven. Its a work in progress.

What I am mostly saying in this attempt to make the point that I highly underestimate my fallen desires. I think I am much better off then I really am. But the good news, however, is that myself and everyone reading this, we do not have to stay this way. Its rather more important for us to understand the bad news before we can rejoice in the Gospel, which means “good news.”

It is both an error to think we are better then what we really are and call our good deeds godliness when it can not be that. “A form(appearance) of godliness, but denying its power.” I fear that we are getting itching ears. And I am, again, looking at me first.

It is much easier for me to believe in a book like ‘Your Best Life Now’ then it would be for me to meditate on Romans 3 and John 3. It would be much easier for me to just feed people at our church’s food ministry and call it making an impact on people or even dare to call it the same thing as love. Love is not food. Love is not stuff. The Gospel is not just for the “blessings” and for a “better life.” Have you read the Declaration of Independence? Have you really believed that we are founded on Godly principles or have some kind of covenant with God because ‘God Bless America’ is the signet phrase on our green money? To my understanding the only covenant nation with God is Israel. I mean Israel in the past and Israel today. So, God so keeps His word that when Israel disobeys God He corrects them by sending the Assyrians, the Chaldeans, and any other surrounding enemy..all for the purpose of correcting them. In Ezekiel alone some 70 times God says, ‘So that they may know that I am the Lord.’ So, covenant with God looks like that. I am pretty sure Russia or North Korea or China have not invaded the shores of America. But is is surely possible if we want to make that kind of commitment back to God.

It hurts to be honest. And the bad news is that we are in danger. We are in grave danger as a country if we think our prosperity means God is for the things we do as a nation. I don’t want to bash America. And God does love us and loves the 300 plus million people who live here..but its still bad news before the good news that we need to hear. Our American Dream is dying. Thanks Adam Smith for breaking it down for us, but it doesn’t take an expert sociologist to say that it is dying. I can’t speak for everyone because I have had a pretty easy life. Yes, my dad was not the best father and my mom stayed with him for much to long and now I have bipolar depression partly because of the abusive home life we had. But no one would have ever guessed that because we went to a charismatic church that loved intercession.

Again, that didn’t change the pain, or the genetic disposition I have, or the negative lies that have warped my mind that now..as a man I have to face so I don’t screw my kids up.

And I love my parents. I still love my dad and my mom and without them I would be way far off doing God knows what. I honor them. I am simply saying that our past is not just buried because ‘all things have become new.’ I hope you understand. We have pain.

Life is hard and I don’t really know what else I have experienced that would put me in a place to hate God because God is not the problem and not the source of the world’s suffering and injustice. He has given us a choice and the choice is ours to now..in spite of our darkness to live lives of humility and choose what is right over what is evil and wrong.

The challenge for us us to make the Ruckus. To make the noise about what is good and who it comes from. Good is from above. ‘Every good and perfect gift.’ ‘God cannot deny Himself’ and that means that He will not compromise any part of Himself. He will always make the perfect choice. If I end up in Hell then He did everything possible for me to not go there. He will be right.

If we can understand our fallen tendencies I think we can better understand the mercy and the goodness that God offers us. I am much to tired of talking about changing and talking about loving and talking about having God in my life when really my life would look a lot different if I was to truly say, ‘God, I need you and I am desperate for you.’

I feel no condemnation. I feel it would help us to evaluate with the word of God and not by the church culture or the culture in general. We are the light. We are the salt. We are not to hide from the world. We are to shine in it.

 

 

 

Undeniable Save Man

Its undeniable

Man is unreliable

World is broken

Politics have spoken

Poetics bring life

From the dead

Famous men have said

And searched for the

Center of their fame

The source of their

Flame

Now the world burns in

My skin, slips from within,

In my chest sits life

Burning and a world

Of earning, now I

Can’t stay much longer

In the world around me

Palm trees and balmy

Breeze don’t put me

At ease

Earnest hunger for

Earthquakes makes

Its mistakes inside

Of me, a rumbling

I am asking, a

Ruckus I am

Declaring, hands

Covering up

Ears, telling the world

No more fears has me

The lights stay dim in

This world of sin

Poverty is my

Storage bin,

Gravity doesn’t

Stay nice to me

Man is unreliable

But burns like

A fire ball

His desire to

Save man

From the storms

Of normal living

From just surviving

Let me understand

Its undeniable that

The world needs

You now

Conversion

Conversion

To come to Christ your world becomes narrow because the road to Him is narrow.

Conversion

Abutting the edge

Of your fears, is

The thought that

Sears in the ears

Ringing of endless

Abuse of singing

And rejoicing

One sinner

Came to Christ

At dinner

Abutting the circles

Of disasters you’ve

Wallowed in fear

Years upon year

Today, He hears

He reaches past

Abominable ways

You once walked

Acceptable, the

Circles become

Triangles, the

Borders narrower,

The path of abstruse

World you’ve been

Saved, once a sinner